But then, Rafe’s father pulled back. His own eyes shone with tears, though. More emotion than I even knew the man could show. He looked full of pride and love for his son, and if I wasn’t mistaken, his bottom lip quivered in his attempt to hold back even more.
He swallowed hard and then looked around the room, as if only now remembering he had a larger audience. He took a deep breath and stood taller. “Rafe Jackson has also passed his Initiation with flying colors. I couldn’t be more proud to pass on my robes to this man or to call him son.”
With that, his dad pulled off his own robe, much like Montgomery had. While he wasn’t wearing a shirt, at least he still wore his suit pants, thank God.
Rafe’s eyes were still wet as his father glared in defiance at anyone who might naysay him as he then settled the robe around his son. Then he held up Rafe’s hand, high into the air. “The Order of the Silver Ghost welcomes its newest member, Rafe Jackson!”
All around the room, canes started stomping the white floor beneath us until the room was a roar of echoing cane pounding.
My chest flushed with warmth for Rafe. Yes, he was a member, but more, he had his father’s love, he was set free of guilt for his brother’s death, and I hoped, I prayed, he had a future he could now look to where he could explore that freedom and love to its fullest.
Maybe even with me by his side, now that I was finally free, too.
And as if he’d heard my thoughts, he turned to me, and said the one thing I’d always longed to hear from him. Not that he wanted to write me a check, or marry me, or even that he was determined to protect me.
No, he said the simplest and most profound words one human can say to another: “I love you, Fallon Perry.”
And then he kissed the living daylights out of me.
I kissed him back with all the joy flooding my heart.
19
Fallon
It was over. It was all over. I couldn’t believe it.
But here Rafe and I were, packing up to go home. We’d passed the test. We’d won.
And I was just sitting stunned on the bed while Rafe hustled around the room gathering both of our things and stuffing them in our suitcases. He wanted out of here as soon as humanly possible.
I wasn’t sure why I didn’t feel the same.
Maybe because I was a daughter of this place.
I’d literally been conceived underneath this roof, regardless of the circumstances. I finally knew the truth. All the missing puzzle pieces were finally in place.
The picture they created wasn’t pretty or neat.
But like some of my paintings with discordant colors and images that weren’t immediately recognizable, my life was beautiful when seen in its fullness.
It was perfect, even.
I was perfect. Perfect in my brokenness, in my jagged edges, in my softness, in my anger and sorrow and rage, and perfect in my joy.
Right now, this very moment, looking at the man I’d always loved more than anyone else in the world—even before he was a man when we were both children—it was perfect.
“Hey.” I reached out and grabbed his wrist as he reached over to get his sleep shirt he’d cast off at the bottom of the bed. “Sit with me a minute.”
His eyebrows arched. “Babe, I want outta this place. The sooner the better. Before they change their minds and decide to foist some other fucked up task on us.”
I gave him a puppy dog face. “Pretty please? Just for a minute? Sixty seconds, tops.”
He laughed and sat down beside me. “You know I could never deny you.”
His thigh was warm beside mine. I had leggings and a long t-shirt on, but I might as well have been naked for the sparks that zinged up through my stomach at the contact.
Maybe he felt something similar, because his hands immediately came up to cradle my face. He dropped his forehead against mine and his whispered breath warmed my lips. “God, I love you so much.”
Fuck, I didn’t know perfect before now.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. I urged his head back. “I’ve waited my whole life to hear you say that.”
His eyebrows scrunched. “And? Am I too late?”
My heart cracked and then smooshed. I shook my head. “Never.” Then I kissed him for all I was worth. I pulled back only to catch a breath and so I could finally tell him, “I love you, Rafe. I’ve always loved you. No one but you. Always you.”
He crushed me to him, and likely we would have started ditching the clothes we’d just put on if there hadn’t been a loud knock at the door, and without waiting barely a moment, Mrs. H then pushed in the door.