“So did the Order of the Silver Ghost pay for your schooling at Darlington Academy? Did your biological father?”
“No. Your father did.”
“Mine? Why the hell would he do that?” Every word out of her mouth sounded crazier than the last. “You just said it wasn’t him who got your mother pregnant.”
“No, but he felt guilty for how my mother was just shut out by whoever was my real father. I guess you could say that your father was one of the good guys in that pool of evil. So, to ease his guilt for not choosing my mother or something along those lines, he hired her to work for him and agreed to pay for all of my schooling. He figured someone from the Order should step up.”
“And you had no idea?”
She shook her head. “My mother kept it all secret. I’m sure she isn’t proud of it. Mrs. H told me all of this right before I became a belle. I’m still processing it myself.”
She rolled her eyes and sat back down in the chair she had been in. “It sure doesn’t help with my not feeling worthy issues. I can tell you that. I’ve always felt like I wasn’t good enough. And now I do even more. My own father wouldn’t claim me. I was never worth getting to know. And talk about a charity case… Can’t you see? I’ve been one my entire life!”
“Not to me,” I said.
She looked up at me and locked stares. “You say that, and yet you offered me a check. You offered to marry me just so that I was taken care of. You can say the words all you want, but your actions speak volumes.”
“I didn’t ask you to marry me because I think you’re a charity case,” I said, but could understand why she would think that. “Circumstances have clearly gotten in the way of us. Don’t you think it’s time we stop that?”
We both sat in silence. I waited for her to answer me. For her to say something… anything. Then finally in the softest voice she spoke.
“I thought you had sent me away.”
I gave a slanted smile. “I thought you had left me.”
“I guess we have to thank your mother for that,” she said.
“I suppose we do.” More silence, but then I broke the thick air with, “So what do we do now? Where do we go from here?”
There was a loud knock on the door followed by an Elder marching into the room with the rustle of the silver cloak audibly reminding us exactly where we were and what we were still expected to do.
“The Trial is not over,” he declared. “You are to return to the ballroom immediately or fail the Trial and will be expected to leave the Oleander immediately.”
I stood and readied myself to tell the man to go fuck himself, but the touch of Fallon’s hand on my shoulder stopped me.
“We need to finish what we began,” she said softly. “We don’t quit. We don’t let them have any more power over what we do or don’t do.”
Fighting back my urge to pick her up and flee this place and never look back, I nodded. This wasn’t just about me. This was about her as well.
“I can’t just allow them all to touch— Jesus Christ! One of those sick fucks could be your father! So many of them were touching you! They were watching! Oh my fucking god!”
She shook her head adamantly. “I’ve been informed that my father is not present. He’s not part of these Trials.”
“But still. I can’t allow this anymore. I can’t.”
“Stop it, Rafe,” she snapped. “How many times do I have to tell you you can’t fix this? I’m sorry, so sorry about Tim. But you can’t fix this. I got myself in it and I’ll get myself out. But I would like you by my side.”
She held out her hand to me.
There was nothing else to do but to take it and trust her. I would trust her, but all the while I knew I might not be able to control myself if another man touched her and it seemed to hurt her or be against her will. She might be the woman who needed to finish this on her own, but I was still the man who would want to protect her at all costs.
Even if she hated me for it. I would not let the men of this manor and the Order break her any more than they already had. But I would also do my best not to let her down. The two impulses in me seemed impossibly at odds, but I did the only thing I could.
I grasped her hand and nodded. “Together.”
And with that, we walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs, hand in hand, side by side.