Okay, a lot.
I go to the entrance of the cave, hugging my fur wraps to my body, and scan the dark beach. No Rukh. What do I do? Should I grab my makeshift spear and head into the hills after him? It's dark, and all kinds of weird creatures come out at night, so I don't know if that's such a smart idea. But if he's out there, hurt, I can't just leave him and keep my happy ass warm by the fire.
I don't know what to do. Sit and wait? Go after him?
I consider my options for a few moments and then bank the fire. I wrap up in furs, grab my spear, and head out after him. I make my way to the cliffs, stumbling over icy rocks in the darkness. There's a small natural path that leads up through the cliffs to the rolling, wintry hills above that become mountains. I go up a few steps and then pause, listening. There's a noise of something walking on the sands, the crunch of footsteps.
Rukh?
I head back down the path toward it. "Is that you, Rukh?"
The sound gets louder, and then I pause. There's a dark shape on the sand that is not Rukh. Not in the slightest. In fact, it looks like a crustacean of some kind, but it's the size of an Earth crocodile…or bigger. It's got two tentacles with eyes on the end, and they swivel toward me.
I let out a horrified squeal and stumble backward, clutching my spear. The thing scuttles away, as if it's just as scared of me as I am of it.
I stare after the creature, heart pounding. My hands are slippery on my spear, and the wind picks up, blowing my hair in my face. A helpless feeling overtakes me. I don't know enough about this world to handle my shit alone at night. What if that crab wasn't the biggest thing on this beach at night? What if the next one doesn't run?
And I don't know where Rukh is. What if I head into the mountains and I never find him?
Beyond frustrated, I retreat back to the safety of my cave and build up the fire. Our supplies of the dung chips are going to disappear quickly, too. That's another thing we need to hunt.
None of that matters if Rukh doesn't come back, though. I can't do this on my own. I can't live on this beach alone. I need my mate. Hot tears leak from my eyes as I lie next to the fire and wait for my mate to return.
When I wake up again, it's morning.
No Rukh.
The fire's completely out, and no amount of poking the coals makes it revive, which is just frustrating. It means I have to build one from scratch, and part of me wonders why I even bother. Rukh hasn't returned. He's left me. I'm sure it's not on purpose—he wouldn't do that—which means only one thing. Something bad has happened to him and he can't return on his own.
I have to go find him, then.
I braid my hair and put on my leathers. I wrap extra leather around my boots, reinforcing them, since the mountains are colder and rocky, and the snow can hide all kinds of dangers. I double-check the point of my spear to make sure it's sharp and grab my waterskin and the last of our dried rations. I'm not coming back until I find Rukh. "I'm coming, baby."
The moment I step outside the cave, though, I stop.
Two dead dvisti are neatly laid out a short distance away.
I approach them, puzzled, but they are definitely dead. There's ice crusting on their fur, with slashed throats and bellies from hunting. I kneel next to one, and it's been bled so the meat will stay good. Rukh must have done this, and the thought fills me with relief. Dvisti don't come down on the beach. In the few days since we've been here, I've seen the occasional one up on the ridge, but they don't come below. I guess it's too hard on their feet.
Glancing up, I scan the beach, but there's no sign of my mate. "Rukh?"
My voice echoes on the cliffs. There's nothing but silence.
I get to my feet and follow the tracks of footprints in the sand, but they lead back to the cliffs and disappear. He went back out? Without waking me? Without talking to me? I don't understand.
Why wouldn't he come and wake up his mate? Kiss me hello before running off again? I totally understand if there's a lot to be done and he feels the pressure to provide. Maybe he senses a storm is coming and wants to get a lot of meat preserved. He's used to being on his own. He knows what has to be done to make it in this harsh environment.