We stand facing each other, holding each other's hands as the priest reads another sermon. He asks us if we have our own vows or w
ould like to recite his and I put my hand up to stop him.
"I have my own," I reply, earning an arched eyebrow and amused smile from Blake.
"I do too," she says, completely flooring me because I wasn't expecting that from her at all. The customized invitation she made me the other day surprised me enough.
The priest signals her to go first, and she crinkles her cute little nose at him before clearing her throat. She takes a step toward the priest to whisper something in his ear that makes his white eyebrows raise high in his forehead before he nods and whispers something back that makes her laugh.
"Okay," Blake starts before licking her lips. "I didn't write this down so bear with me," she says, taking my hands in hers and squeezing. "I can't tell you what love is, I really don't know that there's a concrete definition for it. But I can tell you what love is to me. When I was younger it was the way I got butterflies in the pit of my stomach every time your name was mentioned, it was the way my mind only wanted to think of you; daydream of you. The way I yearned for you and laughed louder when I was with you. You made me feel safe, cherished and happy despite my unhappiness. And even now, all these years later, now that the butterflies aren't as lively as they once were...don't worry they're still there..." she adds with a chuckle before she sniffles "You make me feel all of those things. Once upon a time I was willing to give up those laughs, those butterflies, and the smiles you gave me because I wanted to put your safety first—like I always will—but I realize now that I'd rather keep you safe by my side, because I don't feel safe when I'm not by yours. Love is the feeling of safety you give me, the peace that washes over me when you're around. Love is knowing that one day when I'm old and my body aches, my heart won't, because I'll be with you. Thank you, Cole for teaching me what love feels like. And most of all thank you for never giving up on me even when I was ready to give up on myself."
I take a shaky breath and bite the inside of my cheek, not allowing myself to cry in front of all these people, regardless of the bursting feeling in my heart. I lift her hands to mine and kiss them before wiping the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs.
"I have something for you," she whispers before turning around and getting a dark wooden box with a clasp and handing it to me. I furrow my eyebrows as I look down at the box that reads All You Need is Love and pop the clasp open. I am thoroughly confused when I see the tissue paper and wonder if I should have read the little programs she made for the ceremony after all. I flap the white tissue out of the way and gasp loudly when I see the positive pregnancy stick that stares back at me. I pick it up, looking from the stick to her and back to the stick and hand the box over to Greg behind me. I hold the stick up in victory, a smile taking over my face as the stupid tears that were threatening earlier now roll down my face and I don't give a shit.
"WE'RE HAVING A BABY!" I bellow, announcing it to our guests and wedding party, making them erupt in loud cheers.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me, Cowboy!" Aubry shouts from the first seat.
Blake laughs and shrugs her slim shoulders, and I look down at her body before lifting her into a hug and kissing her face and mouth, earning loud warnings from everybody. The priest laughs as he tells me that the kiss is at the end of the ceremony.
"We're having a baby," I repeat quietly as I look into Blake's tear-filled eyes. "I can't believe I didn't know it," I whisper, touching her slightly round lower stomach. "I just thought you were eating a lot because of the Bar."
Blake laughs. "Gee, thanks!"
"Can we continue the ceremony now?" the priest asks. "You should definitely get married before celebrating the baby. Well, you should've gotten married before that but we'll look past it."
I chuckle and wipe my face with the backs of my hands before wiping Blake's again.
"Okay, my turn!" I announce after clearing my throat. "'Though I doubt I can beat that! Blake, I promise that I'll be with you when life gets bad, when it's down, when it's up. I'll be with you when you doubt and when you want to run away I'll be there to hold you close to me. I promise to let you rent those sucky early nineties movies you're obsessed with. I'll even recite lame lines with you. I'll water your plants when you don't feel like doing it because I know how much it kills you when they die on you. I'll be there when you need to talk and hold your hand when you don't want to. I'll be your shoulder when you need one to soak and laugh at your jokes even when they're not as funny as you think they are. I've loved you for half a lifetime, and I'll love you for many more beyond this one. Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world today. Really. The. Happiest. Man. In. The. World. Thank you for accepting to be mine forever, and for accepting me to be yours. I love you and will be with you, fighting for you until the end of the world. I love you for loving me, and I love you for allowing me to love you. I love you to the moon and back. Forever."
She squeezes my hands and wipes her face with the free hand before Becky hands her a tissue to dab her tears with. The priest finishes saying the words he wants to say and asks the crowd if anybody intervenes in our marriage, to which nobody replies before asking for the rings. We both thank Elijah for taking good care of them and place the rings on each other's fingers. The priest pronounces us husband and wife. When he gives me permission to kiss my bride, I bend my knees and scoop her up giving her a searing kiss, pouring all the love I feel for her, all the happiness I'm flooded with, everything into it. I set her back on her feet as our guests and the other guests of the Bed and Breakfast cheer and clap loudly.
I look down at her and smile proudly. "My wife, my beautiful, pregnant wife. Congratulations, Mrs. Murphy," I whisper before dipping my face to kiss her again.
"Congratulations, Mr. Murphy. My husband. My family," she replies against my lips.
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Cole & Blake, thank you for giving me such an interesting story to write. I hope I did it justice!
Christian: Thank you for telling me what tie goes good with what shirt and suit combination, for answering strange questions like, "is it drive through or drive-thru"? "Do you really have to use those huge cans to make heroin like in Breaking Bad?" Basically, thank you for being my own personal Google. And for accepting me. And loving me. I love you.
Abraham and Moses: Thank you for believing in me so blindly. You don't even know what I do, yet when you see my book somewhere you point, you smile and yell, "THAT'S YOUR BOOK!" That alone pushes me to keep doing this. Because I love it, and I want you both to have something you feel this way about someday.
My fam (mom, Jay, Barbara, Rudy, Dan, Noah): Your undying support means the world to me. Thank you so much. I love you.
My "critical critics": Jessica, Ashley & Sandra (Turtle): Every time you had chunks of this story in your hand, I felt like I couldn't breathe. That, I think, is the sign of a great reader. Thank you for being such amazing readers, critics, not holding back, and helping me throughout this journey.
Barbie Bohrman (my McCartney): Thank you for letting me bounce ideas off you even when I blurted out spoilers (oops! LOL). You're going places and I can't wait to see you shine! Write on.
SL Jennings: For all of your help, listening to my rants, calming me down when I wanted to trash it for a third time. Thank you
MJ Abraham & Angie McKeon: I look forward to our chats every day. Thank you for believing in me, pushing me, and talking non-sense with me. Totally off topic, but...lol
Lisa Chamberlain: Thank you for pausing your life to write my blurb, read my story, and give me amazing feedback! I'm waiting...
Lori Sabin aka rockstar editor. I am in awe of you and so thankful to have been able to work with you in this incredible journey. Your words mean the world to me. Thank you for everything!
My Fight Club Crew...rule #1...;) LOVE YOU GIRLS!
MY ANGTFT girls: AL Zaun, Karina Halle, Madeline Sheehan, EL Montes, Gail McHugh, LB Simmons, Melissa B
rown, Calia Reed, Laura Howard, Katja Millay, Michelle Valentine, Trevlyn Tuitt, Nikki D, Nikki N, Elaine Breson, Cindy Brown, Stacy Bentley, Rose Hunter, Lisa Paul, Antoinette Candela, Kendall Grey, Evan Taylor, Janine Olsson, Kahlen Aymes, ...thank you for making this process so much fun. For the laughs, the vents, for just being you. Thank you.
AL Zaun: Thank you for always looking out for me and helping me when you have your own writing and things going on! And for being Cole's biggest fan!
Taryn: My favorite jerk. Thank you for being my cheerleader, making me laugh and cry, for your texts, memos, and snail mail (even if you do send me glitter and things I want to kill you for).
My betas/readers: Trisha (thank you, thank you, thank you for your encouraging words), Michelle Finkle, Christine, Natalie, Mari, Justine, Nikki, Sam, Brigitte.
Angela McLaurin (Fictional Formats): For doing this on such short notice and making it look more beautiful than I ever anticipated it looking.
Sarah Hansen: For making this cover even more amazing than the first one, which is a difficult task since the first one is stunning.
Stepha, Blanca, Anabelle, Diana, Lidia, Karlla- THANK YOU for your support. I love you!
Reviewers & straight up amazing supporters: Rachel Zilkoski-Keenan, Jodie Stipetich, Christine Estevez, Bridget Peoples, Jennifer Mirabelli, Juliana Cabrera, Fred Lebaron, Trisha Rai, Orquita Rahman, America Matthews, Daisy Esquenazi, Kimberly Shackleford, Stephanie Horning, Tessa Teevan, Dianna Almanzar, Jen Dale, Andrenella Dielingen, Melissa Mascolo, ALL of my KBs, Crysti Perry, Jen Dale, Tessa Teevan, Abigail Ketner, Shey Houston, Robin Prete, Lizzy Henriquez, Sarah Lowe, Becky Lowe, Yvette Huerta, Ciara Martinez, Megan Hand, Megan Simpson, Jennifer Roberts-Hall, Anne Brewer, and Jennifer Hagen.
Other authors that ROCK hard and have helped me in this process: KA Linde and J.Sterling, thank you
The bloggers, you guys really amaze me. Your love for reading, your beautiful reviews, the way you push our books. AMAZE ME. Thank you. Thank you for reaching out and letting me know you loved TiNLiD, thank you for sharing it with your readers. My Secret Romance Book Reviews, Angie's Dreamy Reads, The Autumn Review, Mommy's Reads and Treats, Sweets by Steph, Fiction & Fashion, Shh Mom's Reading, Devoured Words, Aestas Book Blog, Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews, Three Chicks and Their Books, Indie Bookshelf, Jessica's Book Review, Romantic Book Affairs, Reality Bites Let's Get Lost, Wine and My Kindle, The Book Blog, Bridger Bitches, Up All Night, Sugar and Spice, Sweet Reads, Book Bitches, and so many others that I may have missed but appreciate dearly.