“You needed those drugs.”
“No.” I slammed my fist against the seat. “I needed my sisters. I needed real love.”
“It wasn’t fake,” she said, her voice a whisper. “I didn’t fake anything during our time together. I love you, Eva. I love all of you.” Her eyes filled with tears.
“Wendy is dead.”
“And I’m sorry about that. It should have never happened. We should have never trusted those sick, satanic monks.” She glanced away briefly. “I am sorry. I tried to stop it years ago, once we realized there may be a link between all of your anger.”
“And why didn’t you? Why didn’t you tell us about each other?”
“By then it was too late to tell you. The damage was done and . . . ” She shook her head, wiping her face.
“And what? Your lawyers didn’t approve of you coming clean?”
“What we did was entirely legal. Your parents signed a contractual agreement with us.”
“Just because something is legal, doesn’t mean it’s ethical or morally right.” I wiped my own face with both hands. “I hate you. I hate you and Neil and I hate what you’ve done to us. I hate that I took my anger out on Karen for so many years when most of it wasn’t even her fault.”
“Karen is a drunk.”
“Because of me,” I yelled, rearing forward. “She’s a drunk because of me.”
“She’s a drunk because her mother was a drunk and her grandmother was as well. We’ve been watching her family for generations too. You think she’s exempt from this? You think she’s just a random person we chose to give you to?”
I gasped, covering my mouth and pulling away as if her words had slapped me. I wasn’t sure what was worse, that this was written in the stars before I was even a blip on their radar, or that they’d given me to a person they knew was predisposed to becoming a drunk and were okay with that. Either way, my life felt like it had been a lie. Everything was a lie.
“What about having Stella here while I was at The Manor? What the fuck was up with that?”
“That wasn’t my idea.” She looked away. “Dr. Thompson caught wind of everything and didn’t want his daughter involved with The Swords.”
“So he was involved?”
“He didn’t want either of you involved, but having you in The Manor meant his daughter wouldn’t be.”
“What are you not telling me?”
“Neil thought it would be a good idea to switch you. To tell you that you were Stella and tell her she was Eva. To see how you’d react to different socioeconomic backgrounds now that you were already developed by your own.”
“So you, what, tried to erase my memory?”
“It didn’t work. I hoped it wouldn’t.”
“I have no memory of those three days,” I screamed.
“But you remembered who you were when you were at the station. You knew there was no Chris Ryan from Tinder. You knew and you went along with it and you agreed to go to The Manor in Stella’s place. You’re not innocent in all of this. You took their money, you used Stella’s car, her clothes.”
“Using my sister’s car and clothes to try to find her is a far cry from what you were doing for twenty years,” I yelled. “Twenty years, Debbie.”
“Like I said, I wish we hadn’t.”
“But you did. You stood by and watched.”
I stood up and walked to the door.
“Where are you going?”
“Away from here. You’re a monster. You’re all monsters.” I yanked on the door handle, but couldn’t open it. I’d never been locked in. Not once. I looked at her over my shoulder.
“It’s for your own good, Eva.” She smiled sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“No.” I checked again, my heart thumping louder, faster, my hand slapping the door as I jiggled the doorknob. “Let me out. Let me out!”
“You need to stay a little while.” I heard her come up behind me.
I knew she was close. I moved my elbow to jab her in the ribs with it and made contact. I heard her sharp intake of breath and shriek. The doors opened and two people walked in. I ran past them, even as they grabbed my arms I continued running, my feet lifted, going nowhere.
“No,” I screamed, thrashing against them. “No!”
They squeezed me harder, carried me back into the room. One of them grabbed my neck and squeezed, the pressure going to my head and making my vision instantly blur. They’d used this technique before. I knew it was only a matter of time before I blacked out. I knew they were seconds from tying me to the bed.
“I haven’t signed the papers,” I yelled at the top of my lungs. “I haven’t signed the papers. You can’t hold me here.”
“Oh, Eva.” Debbie walked over and set a hand on my forehead, her blue eyes all calm and caring. Fake. “I guess you forgot that I also have power of attorney over you while you’re in here.”