“You won’t clean up my vomit but you’ll spend the night with me in a coffin?” She raised an eyebrow. “I’m glad to see you have limits.”
I shook my head, trying to keep from laughing. “I have a thing about vomit.”
“I went to see Dr. Maslow today,” she said.
“What?” My heart stopped. “We said you’d stay away for now.”
“I know, but I just had to see her.”
“And?”
“She lied to my face again. She even went as far as pulling out my file from the drawer where she keeps it and started reading all the times I imagined seeing my sister.”
I hated that Dr. Maslow did that to her, but above anything else I hated that it affected her the way it did. Eva was all tough exterior, but I saw her, really saw her, and knew she felt things deeply.
“She also said Dr. Thompson is missing. He went on a trip with his son and there was an avalanche.”
“Dr. Thompson?”
“Yep.”
“Did you check the news?”
“There’s nothing on the news about him yet, only the avalanche.”
“Hm.” I didn’t even know what to think anymore. Was this another ploy to get Eva to drop all of this or was it real? Why would Debbie Maslow make that up though? It made no sense. None of this did.
“Do you believe in God?” she asked suddenly, catching me completely off guard.
“Why are you asking?”
“Answer the question.” Her words were slurred as she closed the distance between us, bottle dangling in her left hand. “Do you believe in God?”
“I believe in facts.”
“So you don’t believe in God?”
“I don’t know.”
“Some people take the bible to be facts.”
“And I don’t judge those people.” My eyes stayed on hers. “Isn’t that one of the things in the bible? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I live by that.”
“So you are familiar with the bible.”
“I think everyone is familiar with that phrase.” I felt myself smile. She looked cute and completely wild like this. “Do you believe in God?”
“Of course.” She blinked. “Even in my darkest days, in my darkest moments, I’ve always felt Him by my side.”
“That’s good.”
“I don’t anymore.” As she blinked, tears trickled down her face. “I don’t feel Him anywhere anymore.”
“Maybe you should stop drinking. Stop numbing yourself.”
“You’re probably right.” She frowned, stumbling as she took a step toward me. I reached out and caught her.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” She didn’t move though, just stayed against my chest and looked up at me. “You’re so handsome, Adam Astor.”
“You’re so beautiful, Eva Guerra.”
“Sometimes I find that the only thing that makes me smile these days is when I think about that kiss we shared.”
“Yeah?” My heart pounded.
“What if I kiss you right now?” Her lips brushed against mine.
“What if I let you?”
“You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t want to date me or to come to Thanksgiving. You shouldn’t want me as a girlfriend at all.”
“Why not?”
“I’ll ruin you,” she whispered. “I ruin everyone.”
“I’m already ruined, Eva.”
I pressed my nose against hers. She closed her eyes and leaned forward just a touch, and when her whiskey-fueled lips touched mine, and her tongue coated my own, I felt my chest rattle. How many women had I kissed? Thirty? Forty? How many times had I kissed her? Twice? Three times? Somehow, this felt different. She tasted like wildflowers, untamed and unexpected. Our tongues danced the length of a song, two, twelve. Our hands explored over our clothing and I knew I needed to stop this, pull away. She was drunk and I wasn’t going to let this escalate, but every time I tried to stop, she leaned in and deepened the kiss. When I felt like I would explode if I let her keep going, I pulled away, panting.
“Let’s go to bed.” I took the bottle from her hand and set it on the counter, walking her up to her room.
When she was fast asleep, I left her room and locked the door. I didn’t know if she’d wake up in the middle of the night, find me there, and try something, and I didn’t trust myself not to let her.
Chapter Twenty
Eva
Morning arrived too soon. I flinched as I opened my eyes, confused as to why I’d woken up until I realized someone was calling my phone repeatedly. I reached for it and picked it up as soon as I saw Karen’s name.
“I’m home.”
“Okay. I’ll be there soon.”
I got up, brushed my teeth, showered, and got dressed in ripped carpenter jeans, black Converse, and a black T-shirt. I wasn’t in the mood to sift through Stella’s designer shit, and now that the cat was out of the bag, I wasn’t sure I had to. I was halfway down the stairs when I saw two people walking up. Two women. One of them was wearing a nun outfit—a black and white dress to the knee and black veil on her head, while the other was dressed in blue jeans and a white frilly blouse. I’d never seen either one of them here before and it took me a moment to convince myself that I wasn’t hallucinating. They were talking to each other quietly and smiling. When they saw me freeze in the middle of the stairs, they stopped and looked at me. They were definitely old enough to be my mothers.