Her words hit me like a fist to my chest. “That’s not fair, Jordan. I’m no different than I’ve ever been. I can’t believe you’d bring up Tristan never coming back like that.”
“Isn’t that what the whole Gage thing is about? You knew I liked him, and still you’re acting like that with him? Why would you do that?”
Defensiveness raged inside me, and I lashed out. “That whole Gage thing, as you call it, is just me being the same old Nina I’ve always been. That I’d never been really nice to him or West wasn’t because I didn’t think I should be but because I was feeling depressed all these weeks. So now I feel a little better and I get accused of being someone else and not myself? That’s bullshit and I don’t deserve it.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, and she screamed, “You have everything here! Why do you have to go after him too? Isn’t it enough to have all the money you’ve ever wanted? Now you want another guy in addition to Tristan? What happened to waiting for him and being so madly in love?”
Jordan had never yelled at me like that and I stepped back in astonishment for a moment, but I wasn’t stunned for long. I barked back, releasing all the months of unhappiness on her. “I have nothing here! What do I care about money when the man I love is absent all this time? You think I stay in my room curled up in a ball so much because I’m fucking happy? I stay there because it’s all I have left of him. It’s the only place that truly feels like he’s there with me. I’m not doing anything with Varo, and if you think I would do that to Tristan or you, the two people I love more than anyone else in this world, then maybe you’re the one who’s changed, not me.”
She looked stunned by my outburst, but I saw the hurt in her eyes too. As I turned to leave, I heard her mumble about West and something he’d said, but I didn’t care. I stormed out of her room across the house to my own room, devastated that my best friend had just accused me of trying to steal the man she wanted. Burying my face in the pillow, I let the tears flow from all the frustration and hurt bottled up inside me. How could she think I would ever do that to her?
I wanted to believe she’d lashed out at me because of her problems at work, but her words had hurt. All the money in the world meant nothing without Tristan, and she knew that. She knew how much I loved him, so why would she think I’d ever go after Gage? And that she thought I’d ever break the girlfriend code and chase after someone my best friend wanted, even if there was no Tristan in the picture, was crazy. Since that first day in college, we’d been like sisters. My own sister had never rejoiced in anything that made me happy, but Jordan did. From the moment we met, I’d been able to tell her whatever was in my heart and she supported me, and I’d always been there to do the same for her. I’d never betray her, and it hurt like hell that she could even entertain the idea that I would.
I needed to clear the air with her. No matter what else was going on, she was my best friend. Hurt or not, I had to make her understand there was nothing between Varo and me. How I’d ever explain the two of us being seen as a couple in public was beyond me at that moment, but I’d cross that bridge when I came to it.
Just as I sat up to go back to her room, my phone vibrated with a text. Looking down, I saw the first words scroll across the top of my phone.
I think it might be better if I move
I quickly swiped the phone and read her entire message. I think it might be better if I move back to the city for a while. Maybe we just need some time apart. I know you’ll be safe here with all these people to take care of you.
My heart sank as her words sat there staring up at me in orange on the screen. What hurt more were the ones she hadn’t typed in. That somehow I’d changed and didn’t need her anymore. By the time I reached her room, she was gone. She’d cleaned out her dresser and much of her closet, but most of everything she owned was still there. I ran to the garage to catch her, getting there just in time to see Jensen drive through the gate at the bottom of the driveway.
I typed out I don’t want to lose another person in my life and clicked Send. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and close my eyes. I already missed her. When she didn’t text back, I walked back to my room and climbed into bed, the smell of buttered popcorn still hanging in the air. It wasn’t even nine o’clock at night, but it didn’t matter.
Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I typed out my last message for the day, as I always did before I went to sleep, but unlike usual, it wasn’t a profession of love. Losing my best friend had put me in a mood that was anything but loving.