“Of course I do,” I lie, my throat going tight.
I can’t go to Zan about this. Zan is even more logical and no-nonsense than Jeffrey. She would probably have me committed. And maybe I should be, but at least Jeffrey’s willing to allow the possibility that there are forces at play he might not understand.
“Then talk to me,” she says. “Better yet, come visit me in Zurich. I’ll take a couple of days off work. We can catch up, rest up, and then dig into this problem. Whatever it is, I’m better equipped to help than Jeffrey Von Bergen and far less likely to put your life in danger.”
I stop pacing, going still by the stacked café chairs. “My life in danger? What is Nick caught up in? Drugs or something?”
“I can’t get into the specifics.” Zan sighs. “But it’s serious and scary, and even if he wants to turn his life around, there’s a chance it’s too late.”
“It’s never too late.” Sometime in the past few days, I’ve started to believe in redemption, for myself and everyone else. “Jeffrey will help him. He loves his brothers so much, I’m sure he—”
“You can’t tell him about this, Lizzy,” Zan cuts in, fear in her voice. “Seriously. Promise me. Swear to me right now that you won’t say a word to him.”
I wince and swallow hard, the thought leaving a bad taste in my mouth. “I can’t, Zan. He’s my friend, and I don’t lie to people I care about.”
“Bullshit. You’ve been lying to all of us for years. Or however long you’ve been planning to send Sabrina to the slaughter in your place.”
“She’s not being slaughtered,” I insist, hurt by the bitterness in her tone. “She’s happy. She and Andrew are in love.”
“They’re in lust, making fools of themselves sucking face on every beach in Greece while the press eats up the scandal with a spoon. We all knew Andrew was an oblivious idiot, but I expected better from Sabrina.”
“Sabrina is in love, and Andrew isn’t an idiot.” I frown into the shadows. “You’re just weird about public displays of affection because of where we grew up. It’s normal for most people.”
“No, Lizzy, none of this is normal. And until I find out how deep the not normal goes, I need you to keep quiet about Nick.”
I bite my lip, torn, but the more I think about it, the more I know I can’t do what she asks. “Zan, please. I can’t. If his brother is in trouble, Jeffrey deserves to know about it. If our situations were reversed and he kept information about you or Sabrina from me, I’d be livid. It would be a betrayal.”
“Shit,” Zan mutters, her breath rushing out. “Great. That’s just great.”
“What’s great?”
“You’re in love with him,” she spits.
“I’m not,” I lie again.
Okay, so I do lie to the people I love, but only to spare them pain. Zan is clearly worried and likely to get more worried if she thinks I have strong feelings for a man she suspects might be dangerous. I just have to convince her there’s no need to be afraid for my safety.
“But I do care about him,” I continue. “And he cares about me. I know he does, Zan. And I know he deserves my trust. Whatever you think Nick’s involved with, Jeffrey isn’t a part of it.”
“Maybe not, but he’s still dangerous by association, and I already have one sister to worry about. Sabrina is safe in Greece for now and Andrew has no idea what’s going on with Nick, but that could change at any time. I just need you to stay out of harm’s way, okay?
I prop a hand on my hip, realizing what’s bothering me most about all this. “How did you find out about Nick’s involvement with these ‘bad people?’ And how do you know what Andrew knows or doesn’t know?”
“I can’t tell you that, either,” she says, before adding tightly, “Please, Lizzy, I need you to trust me. I shouldn’t have told you any of this. I could get in serious trouble for it, actually, but I had to take the risk. Just…tell Jeffrey something came up and you have to go home. Then go home and stay there until I give you the all clear, okay? Hopefully it won’t take more than a few months to sort this out.”
“I don’t have a few months to waste,” I say before I think better of it.
“What do you mean?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, cursing my sleep-deprived brain as I do my best to improvise. “I mean that I’ve wasted enough of my life. I’m not going to waste any more. I’m going to finish this with Jeffrey, and nothing is going to stop me.”
Zan makes a pained sound, followed by a soft, “Fuck,” and an even softer…sob?