“Would you turn into a wolf?” My voice was so breathless. Oh my God, was I actually entertaining any of what he said?
He growled low but shook his head. “I’d never fully change when I took you.”
When he took me.
That sounded so erotic.
“But it’s getting harder and harder, Mikalina, to stop myself from making you mine.” He took a step closer, his eyes flashing blue. “My beast wants you so fucking much.” His voice didn’t sound normal. “And the full moon is coming, teasing me, tempting me. It’s the one time I’ll let him dominate… because he wants you.”
I took another step back, shaking my head, afraid of what he said, confused… needing it like I needed to breathe. I closed my eyes and ran my hands over my face, feeling like the world had just opened up and swallowed me whole.
“I should probably go.” I was surprised I could say anything in that moment. I let my hands fall from my face and looked at Ren again.
He stayed back, thankfully giving me the space I desperately wanted right now. I could see on his face he didn’t want that, but he didn’t try to talk me into staying, and didn't come any closer either. And for that, I was glad. I needed some time to think. I needed to understand what exactly happened tonight.
I need to calm down from the intense pleasure he gave me.
It took several moments of him breathing in and out slowly, as if trying to gather his bearings. “I understand, although I’d be lying if I said I don’t want you to leave.” His voice was still husky but sounded normal again.
My heart started speeding up at that, and as much as I didn’t want to, I had to put some distance between us. “Yeah, I should go. I need to go.”
“Will you let me walk you home?” Those words were tight as they came out of him, as if the very idea of me leaving him was painful, as if he were stopping himself from pouncing on me.
God, there was this man—this non-human man—being so kind and good, and had been like that from the very first moment I’d met him, but then he dropped this massive truth in my lap, one that sounded more like fantasy, and I was utterly confused. I wanted to just say, yeah, I’m cool with all this. I just want you and nothing else matters. But was I understanding any of this?
Right now... no; no, I wasn’t understanding any of this, and I think getting away from Ren would help, and that even meant just walking home. Maybe that was stupid, and maybe I should have been smarter and taken him up on his offer, because wild animals and shit. But being around him scrambled my brain, and right now, I needed to get it level.
I didn’t know what else to say, so I started heading toward the front door. He didn’t stop me, and I was thankful, because I wouldn’t have had the willpower to deny him if he asked me to stay again.
Once the door was open and the cool breeze rushed over me, I looked over my shoulder and saw him standing in the same spot, his hands tucked into the pockets of his slacks, his gaze seeming very wolfy in that moment. A shiver skated over my skin, and I faced forward and left, shutting the door behind me.
And as I followed the trail back to town, the entire time I knew I wasn’t really alone.
I knew Ren followed me in the shadows to make sure I got home safely.
19
Mikalina
Several days later
I’d stayed away for days, getting used to the idea of what Ren told me—or trying to, at least.
I had one opportunity to ask Mini—with Andrei as the interpreter—about Lycans, about Ren and the folklore she’d known as a child. But when the opportunity had risen, I found the idea of talking about Ren and what he told me… not my place. I felt proprietary of him, which was ludicrous in and of itself, given how long I’d known him. But telling that story—his story—felt wrong on every level.
So I said nothing, which gave me no additional answers to my many questions.
And now here I was, standing on the little stoop of the cottage, thinking about Ren and how no matter what reality and what I thought I’d known my entire life, I wanted him. I believed him.
And I wanted to go to him.
For the hundredth time, I thought about the folklore Mini told me about wolf-like creatures. About Ren’s species. I did feel like I’d been drawn to this place. And as I stood here on the stoop and closed my eyes, I could feel the wind along my skin and hear the distant sound of birds nearby as if my senses were heightened.