"How's the homework?" Jules asks the boys as she goes to the refrigerator and takes out a package of chicken.
Levy just grunts and Rocco says, "Good. Almost done."
"Once you two are finished, go get washed up. Dinner will be in about half an hour." Jules turns to me. "Want to stay for dinner? Doing some chicken on the grill."
Shaking my head, I stand up from the table, depositing Annabelle on her feet and giving her a head rub. "I'm leaving soon. I've got plans tonight."
"Oh yeah." Jules asks slyly, "With anyone in particular?"
I roll my eyes at her. She and Max both know I've been seeing--well, fucking--Stephanie. I mean, they don't know details, but they vaguely know from some offhanded comments I may have made that I'm in a sort of friends-with-benefits, casual type of relationship with the mother of my child.
Fuck, this is complicated.
Tucking my phone into my pocket, I go ahead and admit, "I'm going to hang with Stephanie tonight. Picking up a pizza on the way over there."
"I'm going to go start the grill," Max announces.
"And I'm outta here," I say with a wave.
"Later, dude," Max says.
As she sets the chicken down on the counter, Jules adds, "I'll walk you to the door. I want to ask you something."
This seems like an odd request to me, but Max doesn't blink an eye, just heads out the double doors to the back deck where the grill is located.
Jules and I walk to the front door and she follows me out onto the porch, where I turn around to face her. "What's up?"
Leaning back against the door, she asks, "I'm just curious how things are going between you and Stephanie."
"They're going fine," I tell her, then I tilt my head. "You do know this is just a casual thing we've got going on, right?"
"Yeah, I got the memo on that," she says with a laugh. "I just wanted to know what you thought of her because you've been spending time with her."
"Why?" I ask guardedly, wondering why her question suddenly makes me feel protective of Stephanie.
"No nefarious reason," she says, assuring me with an easy smile. "It's just...she reached out to me last week while y'all were on the road to DC about a business idea she had that I actually think is pretty damn good. She wanted my advice, and we really got into some deep discussions about it and I might help her out. But it's a big undertaking and I hardly know her at all, and--"
"You want the inside skinny on whether or not she's a flake?" I suggest.
Jules cheeks turn pink as she grumbles, "Something like that."
I chuckle as I step to the side and lean against the stonework on the side of their porch. Shrugging, I say, "I think she's cool. I mean, she's funny, smart, and seems to have a good head on her shoulders."
"But," Jules prods, sensing something else.
"But nothing," I say evasively.
Jules just cocks an eyebrow at me and crosses her arms over her chest.
My head turns and I dart a glance through the large windows of the front door all the way out to the glass doors on the back deck, and I see Max is still working on the grill cleaning it. While I love my brother to death, I could stand to get some advice, and I think I need it from Jules more than Max.
Looking back to her I move away from the wall and take a few steps closer to her. She pushes off the door and straightens, perhaps sensing this is going to get personal.
"So, I've learned a little about Stephanie," I tell her in a low voice. "And she, um...well, she didn't have a good life growing up."
"Poor?" Jules guesses, and she would know something about that for sure. She didn't have the rosiest of upbringings.
I shake my head. "The opposite. Extremely wealthy, high-powered parents who didn't want a kid and made it perfectly clear to Stephanie that's how they felt."
Jules gives a startled gasp. "Good God."
Nodding in acknowledgment, I continue to tell her some other details I'd found out from Stephanie on Sunday when I was over there. "She has absolutely no one in her life. No relationship at all with her parents except some infrequent phone calls to check in. No other family at all, and not one close friend that she hangs with."
"That's weird," Jules mumbles.
"I think so too. So I asked her why that was and she just brushed it off by saying that growing up in a boarding school environment didn't really facilitate friendship because it was so competitive."
"But you don't believe that?" she guesses.
"Nope," I reply. "I think she just can't trust anyone to let them in. She fended off questions from me before she started opening up. But she is the most closed off person I think I've ever met, and personally, I think it's because her parents fucked up her head by not supporting her through life and acting like she was a burden on them. I don't think she trusts anyone but herself, and that's why she's so stubbornly independent and stoic about things."
"I don't get it," Jules murmurs. "She's so outgoing and her humor is razor sharp. She seems...happy."
I nod again. "I think she is happy for what she knows happiness to be. I think she's content with her life and she's accepted it. I don't get that she's overly bitter or angry, it's just made her closed off from her feelings."
"And from intimacy?" Jules suggests, and that hits me right in the stomach.
Intimacy is such a confusing word. It can mean many things to many people, but I think Jules actually nailed it. While Steph and I have gotten down and dirty with each other, I'm not so sure how much intimacy there's been. She's opened up to me some, but she's also closed off in many ways. I haven't seen her since her morning sickness bout on Sunday, but that's because I had a game Monday night and then we flew out the next day to Florida for another game.
But here's the problem.
I actually missed her when I was gone. I hardly know this woman, and yet I have feelings for her that I've never had for another person. It's not love, but it's something deep. I realized it as she was throwing up in the toilet and I thought this woman is carrying my child, and here she is suffering because of it. At that moment, something took hold of my heart and carved out a section that would belong only to Stephanie, and I became suddenly afraid that I'd never be myself again.
She's going to go through hell--her words not mine, because she's a bit scared about the pregnancy--and all so she can give birth to something that is part of me. Considering what little she's told me about her family life, I've got to say it impresses the hell out of me that s
he was going to make this journey on her own whether or not I was involved. Say what you want about how fucked up she is about relationships and trust, she's an immensely strong and brave woman.
I simply respect her.
"Here's the thing," I say. "I can see something more with her, but I'm not sure she could say the same back to me. So my point is, if you are considering helping her with her business idea, do it with the understanding she and I might be nothing more than co-parents, and I have no clue how that's going to work out. We've not even talked about those issues yet."
Jules nods in understanding. "Noted."
"What is she interested in doing?" I ask curiously.
"It's a pretty amazing idea," she says with bright, excited eyes. "She said when she lived back in California, some of the nursing homes and rehab centers actually had preschools inside of them where the kids and elderly would interact together. She said it made a huge difference to the people there who didn't have family, and also helped the kids to empathize with a sort of lost generation of people."
"Hilda," I say softly.
"Who?"
"Hilda," I repeat. "She was Stephanie's nanny...Stephanie became Hilda's caregiver later in life as she got older. Stephanie told me she had broken her hip and had to go to a nursing home. She died there."
"I'm betting they had that program there," Jules says.
"So she wants to open a school inside of a nursing home?" I ask with my brows furrowed.
Jules shakes her head. "Not quite. She actually wants to create a nonprofit that would pair preschools with care facilities and make the arrangements and transportation to bring the kids for field trips to do activities with the residents."
My head actually jerks backward in surprise. A good kind of surprise. "That's freaking brilliant."
"Right?" Jules says with enthusiasm. "And I'd like to help her if she does this. I'm not doing my painting full time, and only working a few hours each week at Sweetbrier. I know when Annabelle starts school in the fall, I'm going to go crazy with boredom."
My mind spins, wondering how serious Stephanie is about doing this and if she's going to ask for my advice. I have to admit, I'm slightly perturbed she reached out to Jules before me about this. Say what you want about Jules having some inside expertise and education in geriatric care, I'm the one bringing her amazing orgasms.