"How bent out of shape is Frank?" Ryker asks, getting us back onto professional ground.
"Not at all," I tell him with a wry smile. "Max did fantastic last night and Frank thinks that opens the door to oust you. I had an email from him first thing this morning where he copied Coach Pretore, stating his opinion that Max should start on Sunday."
"Of course he does," Ryker says with a laugh.
I tilt my head to the side. "Doesn't that bother you?"
"Nope. Not in the slightest."
"Because you trust Coach Pretore," I guess.
"Exactly. And I also trust you to stay out of it, because you know it's not your place, and you also know it will just inflame Frank more."
I nod with a grimace. "Yeah...doesn't take much to set him off. I responded to the email that I had no opinion and that it was Coach Pretore's call. But I know he's going to start you."
Now it's Ryker who cocks his head in curiosity. "How's that?"
"Because Coach knows what you and I also know, because we're goalies...you never mess with one that's hot. Every success focuses you even more. Makes you sharper. Frank doesn't know that because his experience has all been behind the scenes."
"If I haven't said it before," Ryker says, his eyes shining with respect, "let me say it now. You are going to be a legend as a general manager. Trust me on that."
A surge of emotion overwhelms me and my eyes sting. My voice quavers. "Thank you."
He hears it. He hears the vulnerability and doubt that I never let anyone else see. Not one single person has ever seen that I'm scared of screwing this up. He sees it and it touches him that I just shared it.
Ryker grabs me by the shoulders, pulls me off my car and into a warm embrace. He squeezes me hard...his lips brush against my hair. "You got this, Gray. I know you do."
I swallow past a tight throat, squeeze my eyes shut briefly to dispel the tears, and then pull away from him. Just as his arms drop away from me, we both hear the crunch of tires turning onto concrete.
"Shit," I mutter, taking a step back from Ryker, my heart about ready to burst out of my chest.
A car pulls into Ryker's double-car driveway, moving past mine before coming to a stop. A surge of adrenaline had shot through me the minute I saw the car, thinking that this was the end. This was the moment I was outed as having a relationship with one of my players. By tomorrow, the shit will have hit the fan and there will be national debate over my professionalism. That will call into question my dedication. It will make everyone question the decisions I've made and will continue to make, because just even a hint of impropriety or bias on my part will forever kill my reputation.
"It's Zack and Kate," Ryker says, and his voice sounds nonchalant. I look over at him but he's staring at their car. "Just relax. They didn't see anything."
That notion is totally disproved when they step out of the car and I see Zack's gaze flicking back and forth between me and Ryker with suspicion. Kate's mouth is hanging slightly open, so she knows. I can see it in her eyes too.
For a moment, I think about throwing my shoulders back, sticking my chin out, and owning up to it. I think about claiming Ryker right then and there, and letting the world know starting with these two.
Instead, I give a smile and nod to them. "Zack. Kate. Good to see you both."
Zack merely acknowledges me by a nod of his head. "Miss Brannon."
Kate gives me a brilliant smile.
Turning to Ryker, I say in my most professional voice. "Well, I'm glad everything is fine with Ruby. If you or Hensley need anything, the organization is here for you."
I swear I see a flicker of disappointment in his eyes and I want to hang my head in shame.
"Thanks for stopping by," he says. "We'll call if we need anything."
I get into my car, slowly back out of the driveway, and put it in Drive. I glance over to see Ryker, Zack, and Kate walking in the front door without a backward look toward me.
And I feel worse now than I did before I came over.
Chapter 17
Ryker
"Do you have something going on with Gray Brannon?" Zack asks with a concerned look. Hensley and Kate are getting Ruby settled upstairs in her bed, and Violet's helping. She's worried to death about her little sister and hasn't left her side since we got home.
"Don't be stupid," I say irritably as I pick up the plate that held Ruby's eggs and take it into the kitchen. I used to be the type that would just dump it into the sink and when it overflowed, I'd bother to put it all in the dishwasher. But I've learned that with two very rambunctious and active children, it's too much of a time suck and it's better to just handle it right then.
As I open the dishwasher, Zack is confident when he says, "You're totally boning our boss."
"Well, you were boning your nanny," I mutter harshly as I slam the dish into the rack and shut the door.
Zack raises his hands up defensively. "Hey, best thing I ever did was bone the nanny. No censure from me here."
I blow out a frustrated breath and lean against the counter. I pin him with my gaze. "You cannot tell anyone."
He nods at me in understanding. "I get it, man. I know all about keeping stuff like that secret."
Christ...I'm following down the same exact path Zack did with his attraction to Kate. He started messing with her, kept it a secret, denying to the world and Kate his real feelings. It almost destroyed them.
"So, when did this start?" he asks curiously.
I can hear the creaking of floorboards above, and know we have a few private moments. I keep my voice low so it doesn't carry. "Month and a half ago, I guess."
"Is it more than just sex?" Zack asks this because he knows more than anyone the perils of thinking you can ever be happy by denying a relationship where intimacy is a key component.
"It's more."
"Is it love?"
"I don't know, Dear Abby," I grumble to him. "It's complicated."
"You're not shitting," he commiserates. "And you're not even divorced yet."
I roll my eyes at him. "It's all done except for the judge to sign off on it."
"So how's Hensley handling this?" Zack's voice i
s a little cool when he mentions her. He does not like my ex-wife. Or soon-to-be ex-wife. Whatever the fuck she is. As a single father, Zack is very judgmental when it comes to the way people are with their children. He thinks she pretty much abandoned Ruby and Violet, and yeah...technically that may be true, but I have a hard time even being mad at that since I'm the one who's benefiting by having full custody now.
"She's worried," I say. "She's been a little withdrawn, and I guess it's seeing Ruby like that. She hasn't even said one word about Sutter, and usually she can't stop talking about the little twerp."
"Maybe she's finally understanding the importance of motherhood," Zack mutters.
"Lay off her," I chastise him. "She's here now and that's what matters."
He shrugs dismissively and changes subjects on me. "So have you seen the paper this morning?"
When I shake my head, Zack fills me in. "Huge article about the game and whether or not Max should stay in as starting goalie."
"Well, figured that was coming."
"Yup," Zack says. "Twitter's gone crazy."
"What's the consensus?" I ask, admittedly just a tiny bit curious as to what the public thinks.
"Most think you should stay in. Your experience and the fact you're at the top of the league."
"So I'm forgiven for not stopping that penalty shot last season that knocked us out of the playoffs?" I ask with a smirk.
"Yeah, I think you're forgiven. The fans see we have a legitimate chance this year and they don't want to mess with a good thing."
"Well, I trust Coach, so whatever he decides," I tell him.
Zack leans in and grins at me. "Or, you could have your girlfriend pull strings."
"Knock it the fuck off," I growl menacingly at him. "That's exactly why you can't tell anyone. People will think the worst if we're outed, and things are too precarious for her right now. Her credibility would be ruined and that would destroy her."
"Whoa," Zack says as he leans back in surprise. "Dude...you have it bad for her."
Yeah...he heard it. In my voice. The depth of my feelings for Gray, which are all turbulent and confused, and yet in some ways so rock solid. If I didn't care about her so much, these decisions wouldn't affect me the way they do. The fact I do care for her so much is what is making this an impossible situation half the time.