Alex is right...I've signed myself up for a tough road. I don't have any hesitation, because Olivia is worth it. But he's definitely got a point that this will be much easier with the support of friends than without. On top of that, I really don't have room inside me to hang on to my anger at him and Sutton. I have too much other shit boiling inside right now.
"All right, man," I say as the anger and resentment drains out of me. "Apology really accepted. You're right...now is the time for friends."
Leaning in, Alex surprises the shit out of me by giving me a hug. I roughly clap him on the back and we pull away with matching grins.
"So, what's on your agenda for the weekend?" Alex asks with a punch to my shoulder. "I assume you'll be spending it with the lovely Miss Case."
"Yup. I'm going to take her to the beach. Stevie won't let her back into the shop until at least Monday, so I figure that might be a relaxing place for her to hang out."
"How is she feeling? And doesn't she have another test today?"
"Still a little queasy when she got up. And, yeah...she had her PET scan this morning."
"Sutton told me they're treating this as if she has stage four," Alex says, his voice concerned and sad.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. "Yeah...all the results from the testing should be in early next week, but I guess something showed up on her CT scan that leads her doctor to believe it's at the worst stage."
"But it's treatable," Alex says confidently, and the smile attached to his face tells me he believes that Olivia will win.
But I've been sitting on something that has been gnawing at my insides. "Listen...I talked to an oncologist that's friends with Mark Godson. He gave me the rundown on this type of cancer. And while it's treatable, it's generally not curable."
"That's what Sutton told me," Alex says with a nod. "I assume they just treat it again, right?"
"I guess. I really don't know, but this doctor told me...the median survival rate for this is about twenty years."
"What does that mean?" Alex says, his voice now tinged with the same fear that has been flowing through my veins.
"You know what it means," I tell him tiredly.
"No, I really don't," Alex says. "She could live a lot longer, right?"
"Sure," I tell him with a smile. "And that's the attitude we need to stick with. I just don't think Olivia's been told that yet, or if she has, she hasn't really said anything. I don't know if I should talk about this with her...it's all so new what we have going on, and let's face it...I've never really been in a relationship. I'm sort of out of my league here."
Alex's gaze hits the asphalt and he shuffles on his feet. Looking back up to me, he blows out a quick breath and says, "Okay...I've got to say this. You really think you should get involved with Olivia?"
"What the fuck?" I ask in exasperation. "I thought you questioning my commitment was over."
Shaking his head quickly, Alex says, "I don't say it for that reason. I'm asking you to consider the consequences to you...of getting involved with someone that could die very young. I say that because I'm worried about you."
My chest constricts hard as I take in what Alex is saying, but the thought of cutting Olivia loose causes an even greater stab of pain to hit me. I'm willing to take the risk at this point and I have to believe that Olivia will defy the odds.
--
"Oh, wow," Olivia gasps as we reach the apex of the high-rise bridge that separates Topsail Island from the mainland. "It's stunning."
I turn briefly to glance at her, and I find her face to be far more stunning than the Atlantic Ocean that she's currently looking at with dreamy eyes. Olivia slept most of the way here, which tells me her body needs the rest.
Which was fine. Gave me time to ponder and mull over how radically my life has just changed. There isn't one single ounce of regret inside me for making the choice to continue seeing Olivia. I was going to do it before I found out she was sick, and I still wanted to see her after I found out she was sick. The craving with which I want to get to know her better didn't increase or subside one way or the other, but there is a whole lot of uncertainty now in the mix. It's a lot to process.
Olivia was beside herself when I told her I was taking her to the beach for a long weekend. Ordinarily, she would have worked Saturday at Fleurish, but because Stevie banned her from the shop until Monday, she was all too happy to have the chance for a small getaway.
And I couldn't wait to spend some time with her.
At the end of the bridge, I take a left onto Highway 210 to head north up the beach road. "You grew up in North Carolina, right?" I ask.
Looking out her window at the ocean, she says, "Until I was thirteen. Then Mom moved us out west. We lived in California and then eventually Oregon. I came back here for college and stayed."
"Why did your mom move out west?"
"Free spirit and all that, meaning she followed a guy. Henry...he grew herbal teas, and I'm pretty sure pot too. But he's a nice guy."
"Is your mom still with him?"
"Nah...they lasted a few years, then she met Chuck. He was a musician...which meant he didn't have any money, but he played the guitar beautifully. He was also a pretty nice guy. She's in between bums right now."
"Your mom sounds like a trip," I muse, and for the first time ever...I kind of want to meet a woman's mother. "How is she handling the whole cancer thing?"
Olivia laughs lightly. "She was a wreck when I told her, then she had about a hundred different holistic suggestions for me. Of course, she wanted to get on a plane and fly out right away, but I put her off."
"Why is that?"
"Because while I love my mom more than anything in this world, she can be a bit flaky. And I really can't handle flaky right now. She'll come out soon, but I wanted to get through all of the testing and know what I was really facing before she comes to visit."
"That's understandable," I say, and I know without a doubt I can't wait to meet Olivia's mom. I love flaky.
And I'm really liking the fact that I'm so interested in this woman I'm actually wanting to meet her mother. So weird. So very new and just weird. But I like it.
I put on my blinker and make a right-hand turn into a dri
veway before the little beach cottage that sits right on the ocean dunes. It's got light blue siding with white trim and a little sign that hangs out front that says THE PENALTY BOX.
Olivia's eyes round with surprise. "Do you own this?"
"Actually, me and three other teammates. We all went in on it together and we each get thirteen weeks a year here. This wasn't my week, but Zack traded me out."
"To bring me here?" she asks softly as she turns to look at me.
"Yeah...I figured you could use a relaxing weekend at the beach."
Gratitude and tenderness fill Olivia's eyes, and she leans across the seat toward me. I meet her halfway and her hand comes to my face, gently guiding my lips to hers. She kisses me sweetly, and it's the first time our mouths have touched since her treatments started. I've kissed her plenty of times on her forehead while she's been heaving her guts up the past two days, but I realize now how much I missed that soft mouth on mine.
"Thank you," Olivia whispers.
I touch my forehead to hers and close my eyes. I hold on to this moment and cherish the closeness I feel to her. "Anything for you," I murmur back.
--
We had an excellent dinner at one of the nearby seafood restaurants followed by a walk on the beach, but by eight o'clock Olivia was utterly exhausted and went to bed. I lay with her for a while, until her deep breaths told me she was under, and then I quietly slipped out of bed.
I gaze up at the stars, which are shining bright, and listen to the crashing of the waves as I sip a beer on the oceanside deck. I lean back in my chair and wonder if there is a God up there that would hear my pleas to make Olivia all better.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I flip to my favorites and dial the top spot.
My mom answers on the second ring and I can actually hear the smile in her voice. "Hey, sweet boy. What are you up to?"
"Just checking in to see how you and Dad are doing," I tell her as I watch the ocean waves roll in, all coated in silver from the moonlight.
"We're good. Your dad is anxious for the season to start. We'd like to come watch a game, maybe sometime around Thanksgiving, if that's good for you."
"Anytime," I assure her. "Just let me know the dates and I'll make some plane reservations and get the tickets."
"You get the tickets," she says firmly, "but we'll make our own plane reservations."