A tiny giggle escapes my lips and I put my fingertips to my mouth to quash it. My eyes rise to meet his, and they are sparkling at me in amusement. “Um…so, now that apologies are out of the way…” I say, trailing off because I have no clue why else Alex is here.
“I actually wanted to get that binder from you. The one with the California outreach program. ”
“Really?” I ask, pleased and skeptical all at once.
“Really,” he says with a grin. “I’m leaving tonight, as our next three games are on the road. I figured I could read it on the plane. ”
“Wow, Alex Crossman is actually going to do his homework,” I tease. “And without being a jackass about it?”
Alex takes his index finger and swipes an imaginary X over his chest. “Cross my heart. ”
“Okay,” I tell him, flashing my best megawatt smile—and is that my imagination, or does his breath hitch just a little while he stares at my lips?
Not going to lie—if that’s the case, it makes me feel good as a woman and I’m starting to understand that I’m just not going to be able to banish these feelings that seem to surface around Alex. As a counselor, I know the best thing to do is explore them, and then address them…at some point.
“When do you want to get together again? I’ll have the binder read by the time I get back on Sunday. ”
“I’m pretty good next week. A few appointments, but I’m flexible. ”
“Want to come watch our Sunday afternoon practice? Then we can go grab something to eat and start plotting how we’re going to save at-risk kids around the world?”
I throw my head back and laugh, because I’m liking this side of Alex. The one that can joke around even while discussing something serious. “Maybe we should start with Wake County, then we can build outward from there. ”
With my eyes still crinkled in amusement, I see he’s staring at me, his h
ead angled to the side a bit. “You know you’re extremely beautiful, but when you laugh you’re just stunning. ”
My smile slides from my mouth and my eyes go round, even as my heart starts slamming inside my chest. His words are sweet yet his tone is slightly erotic, and it causes my skin to prickle with awareness.
“Alex—” I begin but he cuts me off.
“I told you I’m painfully honest,” he murmurs, his eyes coloring with dark intensity again.
“We can’t…this is professional. We can’t cross that line,” I say, with absolutely no conviction in my voice. I want him to tell me I’m wrong, and he sort of does.
“Maybe. Maybe not. ”
“Maybe, maybe not?” I ask, confused over this philosophical approach he’s taking. “How about ‘not’?”
“Maybe,” he says with a mischievous grin.
“Huh?”
Standing up from the bench abruptly, Alex takes from me the trash I had balled up in my hand and walks over to a nearby garbage can, depositing it all inside. Turning back to me, he says, “Come on. I’ll walk you back so I can get that binder from you and then I have to head home and pack. Are we good for Sunday?”
I just nod at him, not trusting myself to speak. Because I’m afraid if I open my mouth, I’ll spout some sort of nonsense like “We should only meet during office hours. ”
Alex flashes me another huge smile, and again, it seeps inside and possesses me completely. I shouldn’t want that feeling, but God help me…there’s a part of me screaming to just roll over and submit to it.
***
And…my second date with Brandon goes a little something like this.
I arrive ten minutes late at the small Italian restaurant we had agreed on because my last counseling appointment of the day ran over. I had sent Brandon a text to let him know I was running behind, to which he responded, I got here ten minutes early so I’m waiting.
Up until that moment, I had forgotten that Brandon was a stickler for punctuality. Not that that was a bad thing, but don’t add your early arrival time to my lateness to measure your discontent over having to wait.
Needless to say, that one text soured my mood, and by the time I follow the hostess back to our table, where Brandon is waiting for me, I’m ready for a fight. Brandon, ever the gentleman, stands when I approach and helps me out of the lightweight jacket I threw on because the air had turned cool.
“You look nice,” he says as he does a quick rake of his eyes over me. Sort of pales in comparison to Alex saying words like beautiful and stunning today.
“Thanks. So do you. ”
And he does…with his khaki pants, blue button-down shirt. I think it’s the standard uniform for engineers or something, but he’s just so…tidy and put together. His hair is perfectly combed, he’s freshly shaven, and oh, God—he’s the exact opposite of everything that attracts me about Alex.
I peer hard at Brandon and try to remember what it was that attracted me to him. He was always so kind and considerate, a true gentleman to the core. That was sexy to me, right?
No answer pops out at me, and before the waiter can even arrive to take our drink order, I do something that I wonder if I will regret until the day I die.
I reach across the table and take Brandon’s hand in mine. “Brandon…I’m not really sure what it is we’re doing, but I don’t know that we can have a relationship again. ”
Brandon’s eyebrows furrow in and his lips draw downward. “I can’t believe I’m ready to move forward with a relationship and you’re not. ”
“I’m sorry. I’m just not feeling it. It doesn’t seem right to me,” I tell him honestly.
“Doesn’t seem right? Sutton, we spent almost four years together. We were good together. ”