Even though I was trying to keep the situation light, my heart melted at his concern. There was no way Kurt was like his father. No way. My beautiful man would never leave us. I knew he was probably still freaked out like me, but he was making the best of the situation we’d found ourselves in.
I watched my amazing man join his mother at the lake’s edge. A gust of wind whipped through their hair. He wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned into him. The tenderness of the moment touched me. I felt like I was intruding on a private moment just by being here, but they’d insisted I come. For some reason, Kurt wanted me there. Lana’s shoulders shook as if she was crying. My heart broke as I watched Kurt be a pillar of strength for his mother.
Did he enjoy his childhood at all? Watching the scene in front of me, I made a vow to give him as much unconditional love as I could every minute of every day. And I would spend all those moments bringing him as much happiness as possible.
Fifteen minutes or so passed before Kurt waved me over to join them. A surge of anxiety rolled through me as I watched Lana wipe her eyes and say something to her son. They hugged again. Maybe I should wait a few more minutes. Kurt caught my gaze and nodded for me to come.
Buttoning my jacket, I walked down to the lake’s edge to join them. Oh, it’s cold. Living in Florida most of my life had made me a wimp in this type of weather. The glinting of the sun off the snow looked like diamonds. There was a somberness in the air, and I remained quiet for a few minutes as Kurt wrapped me up in his arms. Finally, I murmured, “It’s beautiful out here.”
“It is,” Lana said. “Thank you for arranging this, Sawyer.” She looked at her son. “Kurt said you don’t know the significance of this place.”
“No, he only mentioned it was special when we were in LA.”
She took a step forward, looking over the lake with her back to us. “The fourth time I tried to commit suicide, I entered a facility here in Denver.”
Kurt squeezed me to him. A small gasp left my lips, but I remained otherwise silent.
A few long seconds passed before she continued. “Kurt was sixteen, and he drove me from Nevada, where we lived at the time, to my sister’s in Arizona. From there, my sister arranged for me to come here to heal. While I was getting better, I asked Kurt where he wanted to move to have a fresh start. He chose Cocoa Beach. My sister helped get him settled and enrolled in high school there. Until I was better, she stayed with Kurt in Florida. That’s where he met Dylan and Knoah. Once a month for nine months, Kurt visited here. Before we headed to the airport after I was discharged from the facility to head to Florida, I brought Kurt here and vowed to never attempt suicide again.”
Kurt grabbed his mother’s hand. “And she has fought every day since then to keep that promise.”
Tears threatened to spill over with how much pride Kurt had for his mother.
“I have.” Turning around, Lana smiled at me. “We haven’t been back since, but it was time. We’ve come a long way since then. I’m grateful for this place and for being able to keep that promise to my boy.”
“Me, too. It brought me Kurt,” I whispered.
A few tears trickled down her face and she wiped them. “Yes, it did. And I finally see him happy the way he’s deserved to be all these years. I’ll give you guys a few minutes.”
Lana walked back to the car, the sound of snow crunching beneath her feet. Why do Kurt and I need a few minutes alone? I moved closer into Kurt as the wind picked up. “You’re a good son. She’s lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have her. Despite everything, I wouldn’t trade her for anything. She’s shown me what true strength is.” Kurt turned my way and grabbed my hands. “I can’t promise that I’ll never fuck up.”
“We all make mistakes. It’s part of living.
”
He took a deep breath. “I promise to try to never be my father. I will be part of this baby’s life. And I will do everything I can to make you happy.”
“We’re in this together. I’m not going anywhere.”
Fear was evident in his eyes. “I’m scared Sawyer…so fucking scared I’m going to hurt you and our baby like my father did to me and my mom.”
I blinked a few times as I searched his face, trying to understand the admission in his words. This place had kept the only significant promise ever made to him. The one that kept his mother from trying to kill herself again. And now he was making a promise to me about his biggest fear. I put my hand to his cheek. “And I promise to stick by your side through the good and the bad.”
“Always.”
“Always.”
* * *
“Pizza is here!” Kurt walked up the steps, and savory smells filled the air.
“Oh, man! That smells ah-mazing!” My stomach wanted food, and it wanted it immediately.
Kurt set the pizzas on the counter as I got out the plates. I took a breadstick and took a bite. Food had never tasted so good. I wanted to steal all the breadsticks and keep them to myself.
The door to the bathroom hallway opened. “Sawyer, your phone is ringing,” Lana called.