“Our baby.” We’d created this being. Together. And it wasn’t until we got back together that he or she had made himself or herself known. The world was a crazy place. Love and hope filled me. Our baby.
Looking at my stomach, it was still hard to believe he or she was in there. So tiny.
“Can I keep this?”
“Yes, of course.”
Kurt stood. Softly, he said, “Let’s go to bed. I want to hold you.”
This moment had us brimming with unspoken emotion. Being in Kurt’s arms gave me a sense of safety and security. We needed this.
“I’d like that,” I responded in a whisper.
I followed Kurt into his room where we changed and slid into bed. Kurt wrapped his hands around me and pulled me to him, my back to his front. A few minutes passed before his hand crept down to my abdomen.
His voice was hesitant. “Do you mind?”
I turned over to face him and moved his hand to the spot where the ultrasound tech had placed her wand. “Here’s where your baby is.”
He stared down where his hand rested. “I won’t fuck up this baby’s life like my dad fucked up mine. I swear it. And if I do, will you walk away?”
Cradling his face, I kissed him. “I know you won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because you care.”
Nothing else was said as we contemplated the future. The silence was strangely comforting, and Kurt kept his hand on my stomach. At some point, I fell into a dreamless sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sawyer
Kurt showered while I sat cross-legged on the couch and ate my cereal in the quiet. I’m pregnant. After talking with Kurt and getting a good night’s sleep, things were a little easier to swallow today. It was going to be tough, but the feeling of helplessness had left. This morning, I walked into the bedroom and saw Kurt staring at the picture of the baby he’d put on his nightstand. A baby. We’re having a baby.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
I walked to the door to see the band members standing outside. I pushed the button to open the door. “Come on in. Kurt’s in the shower. We had a late start this morning.”
Thank goodness we had the day off. I was sure there were more emails on my phone than I cared to know about. But I couldn’t bring myself to look at them.
“How are you doing?” Harlem asked. The other members followed Harlem up the stairs. The concerned looks on their faces were touching.
“Better. Not so freaked out.” I placed the cereal bowl in the sink, and an awkward silence filled the air. I wondered what they thought about this. As celebrities, this probably screamed scam to them. I wanted to make sure there was no confusion on the matter. I adjusted my T-shirt. “Just so you guys know, the baby is Kurt’s. I have no doubt. And I’m not trying to trap him. I’ve offered to do DNA testing and gave him the option to not be involved. I know you guys are tight, but I wanted you to hear it from me. Until yesterday, I had no idea.”
They were quiet for a moment before Harlem said, “Honestly, Sawyer, the thought never crossed my mind. Just don’t ever leave Kurt like that again. You had us all worried.”
“I won’t. Promise.”
The door to the bedroom opened and Kurt came down the hall, pulling on his T-shirt. “I thought I heard some talking. What’s up, guys?”
“We came to check on you and Sawyer,” Sykes answered, running his hand over his short hair.
Kurt rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re good.”
I confirmed this. “We are.”
“How far along are you?” Edge asked.