Sam and I just finished our sophomore year of college.
There was an art show in town, and Sam had talked me into showcasing some of my photographs that I had taken through the years. My parents had bought my first camera for me at the age of six, and from that day forward, photography became my passion. I’d devoured any book about photography I could get my hands on, so I could learn about all aspects of it. I’d even won a few contests during my high school years. At the end of the show, a writer from a local magazine approached me to tell me he was impressed with my natural talent.
Heading home to our town of Homerville, I say to Sam for the hundredth time, “Can you believe it? They actually liked my photographs.”
“Yes, and they want to offer you an internship. I told you.” She gives my shoulder a nudge as I drive.
“I know. I know. Tell your parents that I’m sorry I can’t stay and chat. I’ll come by tomorrow. I’m too excited to tell Mom and Dad my news.” I’m bouncing in my seat with excitement.
“Will do. Mama’s gonna want to have you guys over to celebrate at some point.”
We start screaming in delight as we pull into Sam’s driveway. Looking disheveled, her parents, Dean and Chandra, run up to the car. As I roll down the passenger window, I notice the smell of freshly mowed lawns.
With Dean standing solemnly beside her, Chandra says, “Hey, girls. Can you come inside? It’s important.”
Her tone alone makes me automatically obey her request.
After we walk inside, Sam and I head straight for the couch and take a seat next to one another. Chandra sits on the other side of me. Dean sits in a chair across from me on the other side of the coffee table. Seeing Sam’s parents’ sad faces, I immediately have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
A tear slips out of Chandra’s eye, and she wipes it away before putting an arm around me. “Allison, there has been a terrible accident, and—”
I know what she is going to say before she has a chance to finish. “No, no, no. Please no. Tell me they are okay. Please.” I plead with her as my tears start falling faster and faster.
She grabs me and hugs me against her. “Honey, there was an accident at the four-way intersection in town. The semi couldn’t stop, and it hit them.”
I just sob and sob and sob.
As Chandra and Sam sit there, hugging me, the only thing I can think about is the terrible fight I had with my mom last week. It was about me not pursuing my dreams of photography.
Life is a bitch at times.
Later, I was told my parents had never had a chance in the little car they were driving, so they had
n’t known what hit them. Every day, I pray that was the case.
If it wasn’t for Sam’s family, I don’t know what I would have done. They helped me get through everything—the funeral, the will, and the never-ending paperwork. A lot of it seems like a dream. I couldn’t be sure how much I truly functioned, but I went through the motions. Sam was there for me every step of the way. No one could ever have a truer friend.
Decisions regarding the farm had to be made quickly. Animals needed tending, fields needed plowing, and crops needed planting. Selling the farm was the second hardest thing I had ever done. The first had been burying both my parents on the same day.
Within two weeks, it felt like my whole life was completely ripped from me. My heart had been savagely torn out, and each passing week, the hole in my chest kept growing and growing. The pain never ceased.
I became a recluse. I stopped seeing all my friends, and I spent all my energy just getting through the day. Eventually, my friends stopped calling me, and as horrible as it seemed, I was relieved. Sam never gave up on me though. She kept after me and kept after me and kept after me. If it wasn’t for Sam’s persistence, I don’t know where I would be now. This last Christmas, I slowly started to go out to social events. I mainly went to give Sam her social time since she refused to leave me by myself.
My hermit status was one of the main reasons she objected so much to this solo trip, but what she didn’t know was that I had knowingly picked a time when she couldn’t come.
I open my eyes when the plane wheels squeak as we land. This moment feels right, and I know I have done the perfect thing by coming here alone. I was so persistent with Sam about going on this trip because something kept telling me that I had to go find myself.
I’m hoping to clear out all the old cobwebs from the past year. My fear of not letting anyone in because I’m absolutely terrified of losing someone again will hopefully be a thing of the past. Even though I’m frightened, I pray that I have the courage to put myself out there again.
My taxi pulls up to the hotel in the early evening. Oh, I am in heaven. Walking up the long blue welcoming carpet into the hotel, I am greeted by shades of golds and blues. Along the perimeter, the floor has an intricate gold swirl design outlined with blue. Tropical plants are strategically placed to further give that paradise feel. The hotel is fairly empty for a Saturday.
The woman at the front desk with a double French twist updo is impeccably dressed in her light blue suit accented in gold. “Hello, and welcome to the Miami Beach Resort. How may I help you?” she asks in her perfected business manner.
“I’m checking in. The reservation is under Allison Scott.” I hand her my credit card. I’m ready to see my room and relax.
“Thank you. We have your reservation for four nights, five days in an oceanfront room. You are in room 717. Here’s your room key. Elevators are down the hall and on the right. Do you need any help with your bags?” Her smile is small as she waits for my response.
As I take the room key off the counter, I respond, “No, thank you.”