“No, Maren, you don’t understand.”
I tried to explain, but she cut me off again, not listening. “Bane, until you found out I was pregnant you were willing to leave without a glance back. I heard the resoluteness in your voice that morning. You choosing to be with me at this point would be out of obligation. I’ll never be Jasmine.”
This was not going to plan. “Maren—”
“Bane, I get it. It’s okay. From the beginning you were upfront with me. I stepped out of line the morning before everything went down. That was my fault for not keeping my promise.”
Her words hurt. Was I using Maren to replace Jasmine? No, I wanted to ask her to stay with me before we found out about the baby. I wanted Maren. Jasmine had been my past. Maren was my future. I’d come after her if I’d had the willpower to leave in the first place. Resisting Maren wouldn’t be possible.
With her jaw set, I knew Maren’s mind was made up. Hell, if I was her, I’d believe I was a second place prize too. Shit.
Taking my hand, she gently rubbed the scabbed knuckles. “We’re going to be connected for a long time. I want us to get along. For our child’s sake. Just let me know what you want to be involved in and I’ll make sure you have all the details if you decide to stay.”
“Everything, Maren. I want to be involved with everything.”
A beautiful smile graced her lips. While I was involved with the baby, I’d work on convincing Maren that I wanted her to. She was worth the effort to try and make a go of it. She was worth opening my heart up again to the potential of being hurt. The connection was stronger with Maren than it had been with Jasmine. If something happened to her, I’d be finished. There’d be no coming back for redemption.
“Can we go back to Atlanta?”
Panic set in. There was no way I could take a chance with Maren in Atlanta so close to where this all started. Eric and Sarge seemed to be telling the truth, but I’d been fooled by them before. “Not right now. I need to make sure the intel we got from Sarge and Eric is correct. Maren, I’m going to need to keep you close to me for a while. If there is still someone out there, I can’t take the chance with you.”
“Or the baby.” Did she think this was only because of the baby? Of course she did. Maren’s hand touched the side of my face as she rubbed her thumb over my lips hushing me. “I get it. I’ll need a life of my own eventually, but for now while things are settling this will work.”
The words stung, but were deserved. I was gnashing my teeth at the thought of some other fucker even daring to touch Maren. Calm down, Bane. This is going to take patience. I’m the one who fucked up.
Not acknowledging having a life without me, I responded, “I think we’ll be able to leave tomorrow.”
Maren stood and walked over to the chair by the side of the bed. “Where are we going? Please make it somewhere warmer.”
“How does Brandon, Florida sound? It’s near Tampa.” I knew someone who had a place there. It wasn’t necessarily a safe house, but it was remote and would provide escape options. With the baby, Maren needed to be able to get to a hospital if something went wrong. Until it had been a few days without any spotting, I would be on edge regardless of what the doctors said.
Maren yawned. “That works for me.”
“I’ll work with Hampton to make the arrangements.” I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d have her with me for a bit.
“Sounds perfect.”
Slowly her eyes drifted closed as she held her stomach. We still hadn’t discussed how she felt about the baby. Hell, we still hadn’t discussed much at all.
BANE AND I hadn’t talked about the obvious elephant in the room—what we felt about having this baby. He wanted to be involved, but was it out of obligation or because he wanted to be part of the child’s life? I hoped it was the latter. If not, the baby would be better off without someone who wasn’t truly committed.
I wanted this baby. I loved this baby. It was a part of something special we’d shared together, created by the two of us.
We’d touched down about an hour ago and were in another black SUV driving through smaller towns. The green of Florida was a welcome sight from the cold snow. Part of me missed the cabin. The other part was still healing from losing my brother. So many mistakes had been made through the course of all this. I’d never know why Frankie did what he did, but I knew he loved me when he died.
People lose their way sometimes. Only the lucky ones find their way back. Before Bane, I’d merely been surviving and enabling Frankie in his gambling addiction. Now, I had a chance to reclaim my life back. A tear slipped out as I thought back to Frankie’s last moments. He had been the only family left.
The past can’t be changed as it was set in stone. The future was a blank slate waiting to be etched in stone.
Three men followed us who were part of a team Bane put together. His friend from a previous job, Jeremy, recommended them. They had one mission. Protect me.
Even though the idea of being a mom was still new to me, I couldn’t imagine losing my child. There was a connection I felt, an indescribable love from someone I never met. I didn’t know the specifics of Jasmine and Faith’s murders, but to lose the love of your life and your baby at the same time explained why Bane was the way he was about commitment—keeping everyone at a distance.
We drove passed a food stand. A little boy had a Popsicle that the mom handed him. It brought a smile to my face. That would be me soon. “Do you have another safe house here?”
Bane was relaxed as he spoke. Only his eyes gave away how tense he was as he scanned the area. “No. This one is a friend’s. He owed me a favor. It has several escape options. We can get out easily by land, air or sea.” My stomach churned as I looked out the window. I hoped our running days were over. “Angel, there’s no reason to think anyone is still out there. I’m only doing this to make sure.”
Hearing my pet name melted my insides and lowered my resolve. I had to remain strong. To enter in to this for the sole reason of a child would eventually make us unhappy. Two people should only be together for one reason—love.