My chest tightened. This was ending. Tears threatened to make their presence known. I had to remain strong. We were in our final days together.
Our relationship was over. Wait, we never had a relationship. In Bane’s touch I felt something deeper. He cared for me. I knew it. Whatever happened to Bane had a death grip on him.
Pushing away reality, I responded, “Sounds good. We can talk about it when you get back.”
Nothing else was said. Bane tightened his grip on me and kissed my forehead. A restless sleep ensued while I tried to sear into my mind what it felt like to be in Bane’s protective embrace before it ended.
Bane slept peacefully beside me and my stomach roiled with nerves. I was going to be sick. All night long I’d thought about us and how I could tell Bane I wanted a shot to see what this could be. It wasn’t fair that I was going back on my promise to Bane.
I’d fallen for him. Hard.
My heart was taking control and refusing to let my mind walk away from this attraction. What if he died? What if I never saw him again after today? I knew there was an envelope with details for me, but I’d refused to look at it because that meant Bane would be dead.
I felt sick. Calm down, Maren. I was going to be sick. Shoving the covers aside, I made it to the toilet in time before I expelled what I had left. My nerves were at an all-time high as I tried to quiet them.
“Angel, what’s wrong?”
I wiped off my mouth and flushed the toilet. “Nerves.”
Bane wet a washcloth and handed it to me. “I promise you’ll be fine today.”
“It’s not that.” A small sob erupted as I wrung the washcloth between my hands. “I don’t want this to end. I don’t want us to end. I’m falling for you, Bane.”
The shutters came down over Bane's eyes as he shut himself off. "In less than forty-eight hours we'll be over. This was the deal from the beginning.”
More tears fell down my face and Bane became angry. “Maren, I’m leaving in five hours. I’ll be back and then we’ll have two days together. You can’t do this right now. For fuck’s sake, I need my head on right. I should have never agreed to this arrangement. I knew it. Damn it! This was all a mistake.”
Bane slammed the bedroom door which jolted me as I stared at the tile on the floor. With the finality of the door closing, my heart shattered in a million pieces. I had been stupid to let my guard down. What had I been thinking?
It was over.
Standing, I brushed my teeth. Maybe I’d be able to stay in the bedroom until Bane left and wallow in my humiliation there. Here was to hoping. Ugh. Why had I opened my mouth and said anything? I should have never broken my promise. But, my heart would have forever wondered what if had I not said something.
Life was a bitch.
The ickiness from the morning visit to the toilet wore off as I got control of my nerves. There was nothing I could do and I refused to beg. I wanted someone to want me for me and nothing else. Eventually, I would find the love that Mom and Dad had. Someone would want to share their life with me because they loved me.
Finding a heavy sweater and jeans, I put them on. The more clothes, I wore the more it would be a deterrent from having sex. Any more intimacy and I wasn’t sure if my heart would survive the fallout.
Bane busted into the room. “We have to go! NOW!”
Adrenaline shot through me as I grabbed Bane’s hand. Bane grabbed our coats off the rack as we left the cabin, not taking the time to close the door. Running full speed to the shed, Bane threw open the door. I didn’t say a word as my heart nearly beat out of my chest. In all the discussions on what to do, I never imagined it would come to fruition.
Someone was here. The nausea hit again as I thought about someone doing something to either one of us. Bane had been insistent on practicing and discussing protocol if someone was to breech the perimeters. I’d never believed that this would be something we’d have to deal with.
Bane jumped on the snow mobile and I quickly sat on back.
“Hold on, Maren. Don’t let go of me for a second.”
“I won’t.”
The snow mobile roared to life as my heart raced faster. They’d found us. What if Bane had been gone today? I buried my face in his back as Bane took off at a dangerous speed. He whipped the snow mobile around to head behind the shed. Bane needed to focus. Me freaking out on the back wouldn’t help the situation.
Keep your eyes closed, Maren. Don’t look. It doesn’t matter. Bane will keep me safe.
I couldn’t help it, I looked back. No one was there. I breathed a sigh of relief until another snow mobile came roaring out from the side of the woods.
“Bane!”