I shot up as panic raced through my brain. This is not how our first time is supposed to be together. I stilled her, keeping her from progressing on top of me.
Loudly I said, “Nikola, baby, wake up.”
Her eyes popped open, startled as she shook off sleep.
BRANDT’S VOICE WOKE me, and I took in my surroundings. His hand rested on my hip. I’d thrown one of my legs over his body. Oh no! I thought. I knew what I’d done.
I buried my face in his neck. “I tried to sleep-fuck you didn’t I?”
Anytime I’d been hornier than normal, I’d basically attack Brandt in my sleep. He’d wake me right as I was about to come. I loved waking to that euphoric feeling.
He rubbed my back. “Yeah, I thought I was dreaming, but I stopped it when I realized what was happening.”
The moment I’d touched Brandt in the sleeping bag tonight, I’d known I didn’t want to wait the rest of the sixteen days. The sexual tension almost seemed to get in the way of us progressing emotionally.
Brandt continued rubbing my back. “Are you okay?”
I raised my head. “Yes, I’m okay.” Putting my head back on his bare chest, I listened to his heartbeat. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”
His chest started rising a little quicker and his heart pounded harder. The flames from the gas fire danced. The house was warmer, but still had a slight chill to it.
“Nikola, we need to make sure. I want nothing more than to be inside you, but there is no way in hell I’m risking us. There’s too much at stake for me—for us.”
I looked Brandt straight in the eyes. “I know. I wouldn’t jeopardize us, and I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t sure.”
Brandt’s eyes searched mine. He was hesitant. But I knew this was right.
“Brandt, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t based on sex when we got back together. I wanted to make sure we were still compatible emotionally. As I’ve been traveling and we’ve been talking, things are familiar but different—in a good way. We know each other, Brandt. My heart belongs to you, and I trust you with its safe-keeping.”
He swallowed hard. “You really want this?”
“Only if you do.”
“Nikola, I’ve always wanted it. We’ve been on shaky ground since we got back together. I need you to trust me.”
I sat up and looked at Brandt with all the love that I felt for him. My barriers were down. “I do trust you. Part of me is still scared that my heart is going to get shattered because you have so much power over me, but I’m tired of living in fear. I want to give all of myself to you, but we can wait if you want. I know I’ve been all over the place.”
“I wanted to make it special for you.” He brushed my cheek with his thumb.
“Then make it special. Make it our kind of special.”
I gave him a light kiss then rolled off of him while pulling my off my nightie. I was now naked, with the top of the sleeping bag hitting me at the waist. I looked to him, and his eyes were on my perky breasts. Brandt’s jaw worked hard.
He stroked the area around my left nipple, making me arch my back. His other hand trailed down my stomach to tease the slick folds of my pussy. His fingers barely dipped in me, dancing across my skin, building anticipation. His mouth found my other nipple, sucking it as his fingers finally plunged deep into me. I was alive with sensation.
I fisted my hands into his hair. I moaned as my toes curled. “Brandt—”
He bit down on my breast and pushed my clit. I tried to hold the orgasm back, but it came anyway. My head fell back as I reveled in his touch. The memories hadn’t done this feeling justice. My legs were pushed open as Brandt positioned himself, naked, between my legs. His tip barely brushed against me.
“Do you want me to get a condom? I will, but I swear I’m clean.”
“No. I still take my monthly shot. We’re fine.” My voice was confident. Brandt wouldn’t put me in harm’s way. I knew he loved me too much to do that.
He brought his mouth to mine as he kissed me sweet and slow, with the slightest hunger. I wrapped my legs around Brandt as he pushed in at an excruciatingly slow pace.
I grunted as I tried to pull him fully inside me quicker. He stilled.
“Nikola, I’m going to savor this. I’ve been dreaming of being able to do this again. I told myself that if I did ever get lucky enough to have you wrapped around me, I’d memorize every second of being with you again.”
Rubbing my legs over his, I relished the feeling of him being inside me. He was right. This deserved to be seared in our minds as we reunited our bodies and souls as one. Once all the way in, Brandt stilled. We kissed again as I wrapped my arms around him. Brandt began making long strokes in and out of me. Our hands caressed each other’s bodies. On the next upward thrust, Brandt hit the magical spot.
“Keep going. I missed this.”
Our bodies knew each other, craved each other, and were ready to devour each other.
He put his mouth on my neck, and he whispered against my skin, “It’s a dream come true, baby.”
At his words, my sex clenched as the orgasm took over, numbing all my senses. Brandt’s lips came back down to mine as he came inside me. We were one.
Brandt pulled out of me. I wrapped my legs around him, holding him. “I finally feel like I’m where I belong, where I’m meant to be.”
He took a deep breath. “I love you, Nikola. I will forever love you.”
“I love you, too.” I hugged him closer to me and heard him exhale, long and slow. My heart had never stopped loving him. Fear had kept my heart caged, afraid of fracture.
“Say it again.”
“I love you, Brandt. I never stopped. If I lost you again, my heart wouldn’t survive it.” I knew the statistics and the probability of a relapse was higher than I wanted to believe. Our love, knowing what we had lost, would help us stay the course.
Brandt pulled the sleeping bag around us, and I snuggled in deeper. “I’m never letting you go.”
“I’m yours to keep.”
I felt calmer, and the fear lessened as I lay in his arms. Barriers crumbled as another piece of us fell into place. I tried to keep my eyes open to extend this perfect moment, but they became heavy and I drifted into a deep peaceful slumber.
Light came in from the kitchen window as I peeked my eyes open.
“Morning, beautiful.”
I stretched into Brandt. “Morning, handsome. I slept better than I have in a long time, even on this hard floor.”
“So, no regrets?”
Brandt smiled, but there was worry in his eyes. The tribal tattoos on his upper arms were finally visible in the morning light.
I hugged him closer. “None. I feel whole again. I should have known my body wasn’t going to let me go a month without you.”
He chuckled. “I’m a huge fan of sleep-fucking. I always have been. Feel free to start on a nightly basis.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I lightly slapped his stomach and snuggled farther into him when I felt something very hard. “Oh, someone is wide awake this morning.”
Brandt had me on my back with my arms held above my head. I arched up and my stomach felt the tip of his dick.
“He’s ready to conquer a land that’s close by.”
“Oh, yeah?”
He released one of my wrists, and I reached down to touch the tip then ran my hand down the shaft. Brandt’s head dipped down to my nipple. The stubble on his face and his hair tickled my skin.
“Yeah, he is. He’s cocked and ready to go.”
“What land is he going to?” The end of my sentence came out high as he sucked my nipple into his mouth.
His muscular torso moved down my body. “I’m going to explore the Land of Nikki. It’s a magical place.”
I giggled, but stopped, adjusting to his size as he pushed in. There wasn’t a more complete feeling than having him in me.
“I love you, Nikola.”
“I love you, too.”
It was mid-afternoon and we lay curled up on the couch together, passing away the time under the blankets. The power had come on about thirty minutes ago, but the house was still freezing as the heater worked to catch up. We couldn’t get enough of each other as the old wounds closed and began to heal. Brandt had been texting Adam. They’d decided to close the club tomorrow. The roads were getting mildly better, but were still relatively horrible. At least we had power now.
He looked up from his phone. “Adam’s getting a little stir-crazy. Wanted to know if we were up for some company from him and Ainsley.”
“Sounds like fun. Tell them to come over.”
Adam lived about three streets over. Brandt typed a text and then put away his phone and ran his fingers through his hair. He had lent me a sweatshirt and boxers to wear, which were huge on me, but they were warmer than my nighties.
Brandt got that look in his eyes. “No way. Adam is on his way.”
I stood and backed away playfully. Brandt stood and took his shirt and sweats off, letting his length spring free. “Nikola, come back here.”
I continued to walk backward toward the kitchen. “I am not having Adam and Ainsley walk in on us.”