“What are you thinking about?” Startled, I flinched as Gael spoke.
Being yanked to the present, I floundered on my words. “I was—umm—thinking.”
Coming to kneel in front of me, he assessed me with his knowing eyes. I loved when Gael wore his jeans and button up dress shirts. “Talk to me, sweetheart. You look upset.”
I played with the fringe of the wrap I wore around my sweater and skirt in the brisk air. “You remember me telling you about my father.”
“Yes, he killed himself when you were younger.” Silently, I added because I wasn’t enough to Gael’s words.
The black fringe danced about between my fingers as I rolled it. “I wasn’t eavesdropping, but I heard you talking to your mom about the firework show this morning.” I glanced up and Gael furrowed his brow as he tried to connect the dots. He stayed silent. Focusing on the ocean, I continued, “I was at my bedroom window watching a firework show that the neighbors were putting on. During one of the huge fireworks that have several big ones that go off in intermittent spurts, a gunshot rang out through our house that for a second sounded like a firework. I ran down the hall to my father’s room and found him dead. The fireworks kept going off and I flinched at each boom. To this day, they terrify me. When they start tonight, I’ll excuse myself and it’ll be fine.”
It was hard admitting something that showed how broken I was. My Aunt Leelyn always told me, we’re all broken. It’s a matter of learning how to deal with the cracks we have.
The waves continued to crash against the shore. Gael placed his hands on mine, which caused me to look back at him. “We’ll stay here. I’m not subjecting you to something like that.”
“No, I don’t want you to miss it. It’s a tradition for you guys. I’ll be okay. I’ve had to attend events that had fireworks through the years. I simply excuse myself, hide somewhere and put my headphones on.” That was one thing Harris never questioned me on. In the last year, we’d attended numerous events with some sort of fireworks and he’d always made sure to give me plenty of time to get somewhere before they started. It was one of the only compassionate things that had remained intact as he slowly lost himself to greed. However, it was probably because he didn’t want me having a breakdown in front of his guests.
The look on Gael’s face told me what he thought. I intercepted him before he spoke, “Gael, you’re not missing it.”
He stood. “Ashlin, I don’t want to put you in that type of a situation and I’m not going without you.” There was resolve in his voice. He treated me as if we were already one person and I loved him all the more for it. He truly cared for me and I was his priority. Gael was always showing me what love really was.
Following suit, I got up from my chair. “Gael, I’m going. This is a family tradition. I want to be part of it.”
Scrubbing a hand down his face, Gael looked distressed. “Okay. We’ll figure it out. But, I’ll be with you when it starts. We’ll be somewhere safe. I’ll think of something.”
“That sounds perfect.”
The clambake had finished. Everyone gathered back on the beach to visit and talk. A few of us were cleaning up the last of the dishes. Fireworks were supposed to start in an hour. Acutely aware of the time, I knew I’d head back up to the house in forty-five minutes.
“Ashlin, darling, can you get two bottles of wine from the kitchen?” Erica called from the deck.
Walking into the house to dispose of some plates, I called back, “Sure.”
Since we’d been here a couple of days ago for Thanksgiving, the house had completely transformed. Christmas decorations hung from every surface. The tree glistened, adorned with lights and tinsel. Christmas carols played low on the speakers throughout the house. Gael’s parents’ home was magical. A home that felt like a loving family.
Grabbing the bottles of wine, I brought it to the back deck. “I can carry these down.”
Erica gave me a loving look as she grabbed some glasses. “Perfect. I can’t wait for you to see the fireworks. They’re beautiful as they fall over the water. It’s mine and Gael’s favorite part of the evening.”
The thought of seeing the show made me queasy, but I pushed it aside. With all that had come to pass with Harris, I wasn’t ready to give all the details of my past. “I bet it’s lovely.”
“Oh, it is.”
Erica was bundled up as we walked down the steps. The air was chilly but not unbearable. However, I didn’t plan on moving far away from the bon fire when we did take our seats.
Making it down to the beach, the fire warmed me. I sat in a chair and watched Gael talk with his childhood friends from across the flames. He’d glance back to me and give me his charismatic smile. They were all good people and I enjoyed being around them. Conversation with his mother’s friends was easy.
Cocooning myself in the warmth of the friendships that surrounded me, I hoped that one day I’d be permanently part of this family. Someday. Being with Gael’s parents was easy and I’d love to be their daughter. Someday. There was that word again. With the time I had spent with them, they already felt like the parents I never had.
Idly, I wondered if this was the same feeling Sophia had with Daniel’s parents. There were so many unanswered questions when it came to her story. Gael’s family only had recipes and a few names, but nothing of dates and specifics.
Next week, I planned on trying to see if there was anything else I could find. If it wasn’t in Aunt Leelyn’s genealogy, I’m not sure the information was out there with how thorough she was.
Gael’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. “Ladies, I’m going to take Ashlin for a quick stroll on the beach.”
One of Gael’s girl cousins sighed sweetly. Erica spoke from a few seats away, “You two have fun. Enjoy the show.”
“Thanks, Mom.”