I nodded as I pushed the memory away. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
She looked at me like she knew I was far from it.
I waved my hands to ward off the conversation. “Honestly, I want to put it all behind me and move on.”
She nodded and let out a sigh. Then she wiped a tear away.
“Are you crying, Kaylee?”
It was her turn to wave me off. “God, I’m so emotional. I just hate that that bastard hurt you like he did. I hate that your daddy is a jackass, and I hate that you’re still thinking of moving to Utah!”
I laughed. “It’s in a distant second place as of right now.”
She gave me a wobbly grin.
“Kaylee, I’m not running from anything. I just want to do what I want to do with my life right now.”
She looked away and shook her head. “I don’t know why our parents have to be so...I don’t even know the word I’m looking for, to be honest with you.”
I reached for her hand. “I know, Kaylee. I know.”
“I’m so sorry your daddy is the way he is. I hate it for you.”
With a forced grin, I squeezed her hands. “It is what it is.”
Kaylee sighed, then changed the subject. “Does Candace know you’re leaving Atlanta?”
I scrunched up my face and nodded. “Yes, she knows, and it broke my heart telling her. I’m hoping she’ll be able to come visit me wherever I end up settling.”
Kaylee winked. “It’ll be Montana.”
A chuckle slipped free. “It is beautiful here.”
“I’m going to spend the next few weeks convincing you that this is home. This is where you belong, here with me, I just know it.”
With a half shrug, I replied, “Maybe. We’ll see.”
“Grrr, you’re so stubborn.” She stood and wiggled her brows. “And then there’s Tanner. He’d make a great guy to move on with.”
My head jerked up and my gaze caught hers. “Tanner? You’ve got to be kidding. I’m not the least bit interested in him.”
Lies. Lies. Lies.
She laughed. “Please. Everyone in that room saw the way he looked at you when you walked into the kitchen. And you tried to play it off, but I saw it in your eyes. They lit up when you realized he was already home.”
I stood. “Don’t be ridiculous. Nothing lit up.”
“Uh-huh. You can tell yourself that, but I saw the spark between y’all.”
“You’re mistaken and clearly riding on the high of your own romance. There was no spark. The short amount of time I was here for the wedding, I got an earful about Tanner Shaw. Have you forgotten?”
Kaylee walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead. “Oh, sweet cousin of mine. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the Shaw brothers, it’s that you cannot believe everything you hear. Really, you can’t believe anything you hear. Just enjoy yourself, Timberlynn. Tanner really is a sweet guy and fun to be around. I promise you.”
I forced my body to relax. “I’m sure he is, but I’m not interested in starting any sort of relationship with a guy who travels damn near a hundred percent of the time for his job. And look at the man! I’m sure women fall at his feet.”
“I can’t argue with you on any of that. But I can tell you that it’s okay to have a little bit of fun while you’re here.” She gave me a sinful smile.
My mouth dropped open. “Are you seriously telling me to sleep with him?”
She winked and headed toward the door. “I never said that, you just assumed it’s what I meant. Your brain went straight to the gutter obviously.”
“Ha ha, very funny. But that’s good because it isn’t going to happen.” Even though a part of me wanted it to happen. It had been so long since I’d been with a guy. I didn’t have much experience with men. A couple meaningless hook-ups with guys who were friends, but that was the extent of my experience. I had a feeling Tanner Shaw was wise beyond his years when it came to sex. The thought of Tanner simply kissing me, though...Lord, I knew if that ever happened, there would be some serious emotions that went along with a kiss. And emotions are not what I was looking for. Not now, anyway.
Something moved across Kaylee’s face, but she simply nodded. “I’ll be downstairs. Freshen up and I’ll see you in a few. Stella has dinner nearly ready.”
Relieved that she let the subject of Tanner go, I relaxed the sudden tension in my shoulders. “Thank you, Kaylee. I’ll be right down.”
Once the door clicked shut, I stood and made my way over to the window. The sun had started to sink in the blue sky, and a brilliant orange and pink color cascaded down over snow-covered mountains. I took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. I couldn’t argue with the fact that I’d fallen in love with Montana, even before I ever visited. The pictures Kaylee sent had captured my heart instantly. I could honestly see myself living here. There was only one problem…and his name was Tanner Shaw. I made a vow to myself right then and there that he wouldn’t be an issue. He simply couldn’t be. This move was about me and my future, and Tanner Shaw was not part of that.
Chapter Six
TIMBERLYNN
When I walked into the kitchen of the Shaw family home, I paused and took in the sight before me. They were all talking at once. Some laughed, some argued with one another. An adorable little laugh came from Morgan somewhere in the room, Blayze was informing Stella he didn’t need help getting something out of the oven, and Ty Senior was standing in the middle of it all, wearing an apron that said, Give me a kiss and you’ll get a cookie.
It was everything I had ever dreamed a family would be like. I couldn’t help but smile as I took in the room. A strange feeling of want hit me right in the middle of the chest. Or maybe it was self-pity that I had never had this sort of experience with my own family. Whatever it was, I wasn’t sure if it made me sad or happy. When Ty Senior moved to the side, I saw why baby Morgan was laughing, and my insides melted on the spot.
Oh, good Lord. This is going to be harder than I thought.
Tanner held Morgan and lifted her up, then dropped her quickly to kiss her on the cheek. She laughed each time, and when she laughed, it made Tanner laugh. The sound of his laughter made me sigh internally. A feeling I really hadn’t felt in a very long time moved over me. It was more of a longing than anything. For a quick moment I wanted to make Tanner laugh like that. I wanted Tanner’s attention.
I was actually jealous of a baby. I shook my head to make the thought go away.
“There’s something very sexy about a man with a baby, isn’t there?”
I jumped at the sound of Lincoln’s voice. A nervous laugh slipped free as I realized I’d been caught staring. “Yes, there is.”
Lincoln gave her a knowing look. “I’m so glad you decided to come and spend Christmas with us, Timberlynn. Kaylee was over the moon when you told her you were coming.”
I was relieved Lincoln had moved on from my obvious gawking of her brother-in-law to another subject. Lincoln adored my cousin Kaylee, and the feeling was mutual. They were the best of friends and reminded me a lot of myself and Candace. “Well, when she invited me, I knew I had to come. I miss seeing her, and getting a chance to visit the area longer will be a good thing.”
Lincoln grinned and looked around the kitchen.
“How are you feeling?” I asked, glancing down to her stomach and then back up.
“Wonderful! This time around I don’t have the morning sickness like I did before.”
I raised my brows. “You know what that means, don’t you?”
She laughed. “You sound like Stella. She’s insisting it’s a boy.”
“Smart woman. I’ve heard girls make you sick more, so maybe she’s right.”
Lincoln’s gaze searched the room until they found her husband. Brock was just as handsome as the other two Shaw brothers, with brown hair and blue eyes that seemed to look deep into your soul. He had been a professional bull rider and had retired recently. Kaylee’s hu
sband, Ty, had also been a professional bull rider, but a car accident ended his career a few years back when he was at the top of his profession. Both of them worked the family ranch now and seemed to be perfectly content with their lives.
“Does Brock have a preference?” I asked.
“No, not at all. He simply wants me and the baby to be happy and healthy.”
Kaylee had told me a little bit about Brock’s first wife. She had died only moments after giving birth to their son, Blayze, so it was not surprising that he’d be worried about Lincoln.
“Is Blayze excited to be a big brother again?” I asked.
Lincoln’s face beamed with happiness. “He is very excited and has no problem telling everyone he needs a baby brother. He loves Morgan, but I think he wants a brother like Brock has with Tanner and Ty.”
“I can see that. Are they all very close? Brock, Ty, and Tanner?” I asked, looking back out over the family.
“Yes, the three of them are thick as thieves.”
With a chuckle, my attention was once again brought back to Tanner and Morgan. She was standing in his lap, her fingers in her mouth as he spoke softly to her. She was nine months old and seemed to be able to hold the complete attention of the man holding her. Lucky little girl.
“Timberlynn, I hope you like chicken fried steak!” Stella’s voice caused me to drag my attention away from Tanner and Morgan.
“It’s one of my favorites!” I replied with a smile. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“You are a doll. Yes, if you wouldn’t mind grabbing the salad out of the refrigerator and taking it to the table in the dining room. There should be some homemade ranch dressing in there as well.”
“I’m on it!” I said as I made my way through the kitchen. One thing I had noticed back in September when I visited for a few days was how Stella and Ty Senior had a way of making a person feel right at home. Like you were part of the family. I never had that growing up. A surge of anger and jealousy raced through me. If my mother hadn’t died in that car wreck, is this how life would have been for me? A happy mother and father who loved their children so much you could see it practically beaming from their bodies? I wasn’t going to go there again. I pushed away the negative thoughts and headed to the dining room.