She covered her mouth and lost it laughing. The nurse next to me chuckled as she finished wrapping my twisted ankle. Glancing up, she said, “At least you’ll have a fun story to tell your kids.”
Heather laughed harder.
“It’s not that funny,” I stated as I shot her a hardened stare.
Wiping away her tears, she nodded. “I know it’s not. But it kind of is. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you … heard you … you’ve never …”
She spun around and headed to the bathroom in the room. “Have … to … pee!”
I focused back on the nurse. It was clear she was laughing by the way her shoulders shook. “I don’t like bugs.”
Her eyes swung up to mine. “Are butterflies considered bugs?”
Another round of laughter came from the bathroom. The nurse chuckled and looked back at my ankle.
“You’re very lucky you didn’t break anything, Mr. Hayes. Or worse yet, hit your head on the way down.”
Nodding, I replied, “I know. We’re getting married in a couple of weeks. A broken anything wouldn’t have been good.” My chest puffed out. “But I won. That’s all that matters.”
She shook her head. “Uh-huh. So glad I never had boys.”
After securing the wrap, she placed her hands on her hips and gave me a thoughtful smile. “No more trying to show off. And you’ll want to keep off that ankle as much as possible. It’s not a bad sprain, but it will be painful.”
The door to the bathroom opened and Heather walked out, trying to keep from laughing. “Is he ready to go?” she asked the nurse.
“He is indeed. You’ll want to stop at the Walgreens to get some Advil if you didn’t bring any along.”
Heather nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
I looked at her in horror. “Wait. I’m not getting any pain pills? This thing is throbbing.”
The nurse slowly turned to face me. Her left eye narrowed and for one brief moment, I felt the need to cover my junk.
“Mr. Hayes, you have a mild sprain of your ankle. You’ll be fine with Advil and icing it.”
“But—”
She lifted her hand. “Your future wife is going to give birth to two babies back to back. She’s going to have to carry them for nine months. Two of them. Not one. Two.” She lifted her hand and showed me two fingers.
I swallowed hard.
“I think Advil will take care of your mild sprain fine, just like the doctor said earlier.”
With a fast nod, I replied, “Yes ma’am. I agree.”
She handed me the papers and said, “You can check out at the front desk. Enjoy your camping trip.”
Spinning on her heels, she headed out the door while Heather and I watched the door slowly shut.
Heather turned back to me and we both whispered, “Wow.”
“I feel sorry for her husband when he gets sick,” I said as I carefully got off the table. Heather chuckled and reached for my arm.
“Do you want the crutches?” she asked.
“Hell no. The second Jeff sees me with them it will be like an open invitation for him to start.”
She pressed her lips together while looking at my ankle then back up at me. “Are you sure? They said to stay off of it.”