Dominic said nothing. Just started the engine and turned on the air conditioning.
‘Mind you, she was right about one thing.’
This time she got a bite. ‘What do you mean?’
‘This will be one beautiful baby. Carla was beautiful, Dominic. It’s so unfair she didn’t live to see her child.’
He didn’t reply as he set the car in motion and she wished she’d said nothing too. He’d already be regretting that earlier kiss and now she’d gone and mentioned his wife. Not that he would need reminding of her. Did he feel he’d betrayed Carla, by kissing the woman carrying her child? Did he wish it was Carla sitting alongside him now? Did he wish it was Carla he’d been kissing?
Of course he would.
Instead he was stuck with her. But at least it was only for a few short months. And then he’d have Carla’s baby and she would be free of pregnancy hormones and the crazy thoughts and fantasies they spawned that had no place in reality.
She could hardly wait.
He didn’t go straight home as she’d expected. ‘Where are we going?’ she asked when she realised they were heading in the wrong direction.
‘Do you have to rush back?’ he asked enigmatically. ‘I thought it might be nice to go for a drive now that the showers seem to have passed.’
She shrugged, surprised. There was nothing she had to get back for. But after that kiss she was sure he’d want to get her home and out of his hair as quickly as possible. Then again, he’d probably already forgotten about it. ‘Sure.’
He pulled over and activated a switch that took the top down in a whirr of motor and click of machinery and soon the sports car was heading towards the city. Sydney almost sparkled in the sunlight as they crossed the Harbour Bridge, fresh from its earlier showers, a light on-shore breeze countering the humidity.
He seemed to know where he was going so she didn’t bother him with questions. Just enjoyed the sensation of being in the passenger seat alongside him as they bypassed the city. She saw the looks of envy from the cars they passed, the men lusting after the car, the women lusting after Dominic.
He wasn’t hers in any way, shape or form. A kiss did not bestow ownership by any means, especially one given in pity, and having his child in her belly did not make him hers, but she was the one sitting in this seat right now and she was going to enjoy it. She sat back and ate up the envy. Things would be different after the baby was born. Very different.
Already her former life seemed almost foreign. The little house she still didn’t know if she would get to keep. The dusty streets and the baking heat. She would miss the clean smell of the ocean and the blazing sunrise as night turned to day.
But return she must. She’d signed an agreement to that effect, she’d sworn she’d leave as soon as the baby was born. It wasn’t as if she had a choice.
And she didn’t want to stay. Not really. Just like she’d never really wanted a baby…
The wind whipped over the windscreen, swirling over their heads, playing with the ends of her hair while reason tugged at the fraying ends of her mind. No, that wasn’t quite right. She had wanted it—had thought that if she could give Shayne the baby he so desperately wanted that their marriage would finally become what her mother had wanted for her, what her mother had never had.
And for a moment, for just a few short weeks, she’d imagined her wishes had been answered and her hopes had been blessed. She hadn’t known then that her marriage was already over.
And then they’d discovered the truth and relief had taken over. Massive relief. For it wasn’t Shayne’s baby she was carrying. It was Shayne’s baby she didn’t want.
But could she afford to want this one?
No. She’d never wanted this child. Never. And as long as she kept telling herself that, everything would be fine.
The car threaded its way through the inner suburbs, past the Sydney Cricket Ground and further on, past Randwick Racecourse. The car felt good in his hands and he felt good in it. It had been a while since he’d allowed himself the simple pleasure of taking one of his cars for a spin.
It had been a while since he’d wanted to show someone the simple delights of driving through the city streets with the top down.