Unquelled, Cecily continued, “I was much amazed. I’d always thought trollops looked like the tavern maid at Squeebles. Molly’s rather stout, but I daresay she’s the best the gentlemen can find in the vicinity when they’re of a mind for that sort of thing.”
“Cecily—”
“I wonder if Lord Robert’s friend is witty and clever,” the girl said meditatively. “They say that’s why Harriette Wilson is so popular. Certainly she’s no great beauty. Still, she has a very generous figure, so perhaps it’s not all conversation. When the horses are bred, you know, the stallions—”
“Cecily!”
“Well, they do go directly to it,” the girl said, turning her innocent blue gaze to her aunt.
Mrs. Wellwicke covered her twitching mouth.
“It looks rather uncomfortable for the mares,” the niece added. “No wonder the gentlemen must pay—”
“Cecily, pray hold your tongue,” Lilith snapped. “It is bad enough these disagreeable objects are among us. Worse still that they should elicit such unladylike, immodest speculations. You see how depravity taints whatever is near it. I shall have a servant return this package immediately. Furthermore, as of this moment you are to have nothing to do with Lord Robert Downs. He is obviously not a fit person for an innocent girl to know.”
She marched from the room, bearing the box well in front of her as though it were a chamber pot.
Cecily chased after her. “But Aunt, you can’t mean it,” she said. “It isn’t his fault.”
“We shall not discuss this before the entire household.”
Cecily followed her aunt in silence down the stairs and into the study. She waited patiently while Lilith wrote a short note, sanded and sealed it, summoned a servant, and dispatched box and note to the modiste.
When they were alone, the girl tried again. “Dear Aunt, you know it isn’t Lord Robert’s fault the package was misdirected. It hardly seems fair to blame him—to cut him-—because of an innocent mistake.”
“Innocent?” Lilith echoed coldly. “Innocence does not purchase such immodest costumes for—for such persons. Innocence is not acquainted with such persons. And so you shall not be.”
“Well, what on earth else is a gentleman to do? He must get his pleasure somewhere. That’s how men are. I think it’s far more sensible to keep a mistress than to take his chances in the streets and alleys.”
“Gracious heavens, child, I cannot believe what I am hearing. Where on earth did you learn of these—these matters?”
“From Rodger.” Cecily shrugged. “Though living in the country in a horse-breeding family isn’t likely to keep me in ignorance, is it? Though I’ve never understood why I should be. How is a girl to protect herself when she doesn’t know what to protect herself from?”
“She leaves her protection to her elders,” her aunt said in awful tones. “Which is precisely the case at present. You will have nothing further to do with that man.”
Further argument, as Cecily later informed her maid, was obviously futile.
“Still, I tried,” she said with a sigh. “But I’m afraid Aunt Lilith is a bit irrational on the subject. It isn’t logical at all. I’m sure half the gentlemen I know do far worse than Lord Robert does. Why, he’s been with the same woman two whole years, Anne says. Other men are not so faithful to their wives.”
“Mebbe when you’ve been a wife, you’ll think different, miss.”
“But I’m not a wife now, am I? At any rate, I certainly can’t cut him without explanation. That would be monstrous rude, as well as unfair.”
Accordingly, Cecily found her writing materials and immediately composed a note to the ill-used young man. When she attempted to hand the note to her maid, Susan demurred.
“Your aunt won’t like it,” the abigail said.
“Then obviously she’d better not know about it, had she?”
“But Miss Cecily—”
“Don’t be tiresome, Susan. You know perfectly well how to get this note to him. You and Hobbs have passed along other pieces of news easily enough to his cousin.”
The maid’s mouth dropped open.
“I suppose you mean to marry one day, and wish to set something aside. I know Papa does not pay you very generously, so really, I can’t blame you, can I?”
The maid stammered and protested, but her mistress only looking reproachful, Susan ended by muttering that Miss Cecily had always been a deal too quick.
“Well, I shall not pry into your private affairs,” Cecily said magnanimously. “Everyone says Lord Brandon is irresistible, and of course he is dark and devilish-looking, so I collect you couldn’t help yourself. Still, if you’re not very discreet, my aunt will find out what you’ve been about, and I daresay she won’t be best pleased.”
She thrust the note into her mortified abigail’s hand. “So you’d better be discreet, hadn’t you?”
The note reached Lord Robert some hours later, when he and his cousin had returned to dress for the evening. Dressing being a wearying business, they had elected to fortify themselves first in the library with a glass of Madeira.
The note was presented on a silver salver.
Lord Robert took it, stared at it a moment, then opened it.
The butler glanced enquiringly at Lord Brandon, who shook his head and gestured the servant away.
Betraying not a smidgeon of interest, the marquess poured the wine and handed a glass to his cousin. The young man absently took it while he perused the note a second time. Finally he looked up.
“I have been cut off,” Robert said in disbelief. “I am banned, banished, and outlawed.” He handed the sheet of paper to his cousin. “Did you ever hear the like?”
The older man quickly skimmed the round schoolgirl script. “I have never seen the like,” he answered. “She has not mis-spelt a single word. Moreover, she states the case so plainly and simply, it might be a receipt for a poultice. Most extraordinary.”
“I told you she was levelheaded. I only wish her aunt were. You’d think I’d tried to ravish the girl.’’
“You did not order up lingerie for Elise?”
“How should I know? We’re always at the dressmaker’s or the milliner’s or somebody’s. That is to say, of course I must have—but what’s that to do with anything?”
Lord Brandon dropped gracefully into a chair. “It has everything to do with everything, Robin. Miss Glenwood is fresh from the schoolroom. She is not supposed to know of mistresses and their intimate attire. Now the girl is no longer ignorant, and, unluckily for you, Mrs. Davenant knows precisely where to pin the blame. This is what comes of excessive letter-writing.”
“It’s completely irrational. I’m banned because some fool servant delivered the wrong package to the wrong house. Banned—and I’m not even cowling her niece, drat it. Does she mean to investigate the private affairs of every fellow who talks to the girl? Ventcoeur isn’t banned, and he spends half his nights in the Covent Garden alleys. Even that loose fish, Beldon, who has the bailiff camped on his doorstep—”
“Their indiscretions have not been waved under Mrs. Davenant’s nose as yours has been by this unfortunate accident. An accident of fate, Robin. Drink your wine and put the matter from your mind. We shall dine with Scrope Davies tonight and bury our disappointments in wine and laughter. He is a very amusing fellow, an intimate of Byron’s. Perhaps the poet will join us. I understand he’s decided not to accompany Hobhouse to Paris after all.”
“He’s a moody, pretentious bore,” was the sulky answer.
“I admit he has not Miss Glenwood’s immense blue eyes and guinea-gold curls, and being some years older and lame as well, he cannot be as lively—”
“It’s nothing to do with her looks, Julian. It’s the—the principle of the thing, dash it! Here I’ve been dutifully going about in company to pacify the family. I meet one girl who doesn’t bore me out of my wits. At last there’s someone sensible to talk to, so the evening isn’t an endless punishment—and now
I’m not to talk to her, not to go near her. I feel like a damned leper. Confound her aunt. Mrs. Drummond-Burrell isn’t half such a prude.”
Robert stomped to the tray and refilled his glass. “It’s all the more astonishing to me now how you ever got such a stiff-necked prig to even speak to you—let alone dance with you.”
“Perhaps I took advantage of a fit of temporary insanity,” said the marquess. He rose. “I believe I shall dress now. You, of course, may amuse yourself as you wish. Freers will bring you another bottle when you have done soaking up that one. I expect he’ll also provide a litter to carry you to bed when you have completed your liquid meditations.”
Lord Robert had not meant to drink himself unconscious. Still, he was exceedingly put out, and in the course of execrating Mrs. Davenant at length, grew thirsty. Since he continued grumbling to himself for hours, he had frequent need to soothe his parched throat, with the result his cousin had predicted.
The young man awoke very late the following day and, suffering the usual consequences, was more out of sorts than ever. He spent that night in a fit of the sullens with his mistress.