Shade didn’t smile at her attempt of humor.
“Are you angry that I’m pregnant? We talked about having another baby….”
He shook his head at her. “No, I’m not angry at you. I’m sick at what I just did to Gavin.”
“What did you do?” she whispered.
“I forced him to take over watching Ginny. Rider and I will be staying here. We won’t be switching out anymore. He didn’t want to go.”
“If Gavin didn’t want to go, he wouldn’t have.”
“I didn’t play nice to make him go.”
“I didn’t assume you did. This may come as a shock to you, but I know the only ones you play nice to is me and the boys.
“Shade, why do you think I fought falling in love with you? Anyone with half a brain can see you’re a dangerous man. I’ve seen women cross the streets with their children when they see you walking down the sidewalk.”
“When you came into the clubhouse that night and saw the party, you should have run farther than back to college. You should have run until you were out of my reach.”
“Would it have done me any good?” she asked softly.
“No, because I’m a heartless bastard.”
“You’re anything but heartless. Are you dangerous? Yes. But heartless, you’re not. If you were heartless, you wouldn’t haven’t waited until I fell in love with you before making love to me. You wouldn’t have cared that my mind was screwed up; you would have taken advantage. You didn’t. I’ve watched you leave every other month to protect Ginny, knowing how much you were hurting to leave us. I can count a hundred times you sacrificing what you wanted to help the others in the club. Not only the club, but the people in town. No, sometimes you didn’t play nice, but you always”—she raised her voice vehemently until she was practically yelling at him—“ always did what you thought was right. I’m never going to believe that you didn’t do what was the best thing to do for Gavin, despite how much you wanted to stay here with us. If you truly don’t believe it isn’t in his best interest, then call him and tell him to come back. If you don’t want to leave us here alone anymore, then the boys and I will go to Nashville with you.”
“I can’t ask you to leave the store. You’ll worry yourself sick about the people that depend on you. You’ll miss Beth.”
“I will, but the boys and I will adjust.”
“I won’t uproot you and the boys because I’m putting The Last Riders over my family.”
“You’re not. You wouldn’t be uprooting us. Our family isn’t tied to any ground. Our family isn’t a house you built or possessions. Don’t you know how much we love you?” She started plucking at her dress, raising the hem so she could pull it off.
“Angel….”
Letting her dress fall to the floor, she reached behind her to unsnap her bra then slid her panties off.
Shade watched as she picked her dress and undergarments up and laid them neatly on the coffee table in front of him.
Going to the middle of the floor, she stared at him, unashamedly displaying all the love she felt for him in her eyes. “Where you lead, I will always follow.”
Sinking down on her knees, keeping her back straight, she kneeled before her husband. Laying her forehead down on the carpet, she stretched her arms before her, submitting to Shade, giving him complete control over her and her life. Not because he was stronger or demanded it, but because she finally understood deep in her soul that Shade’s love wasn’t going anywhere.
He wasn’t going to wake up one day and discover he didn’t love her. His love was true and faithful. It didn’t harm nor seek to master. It put the control in her hands to follow him. With one word, she could release herself when she wanted to go in her own direction.
Shade’s love was steady, strong, enduring. Forever. Like hers.
“Sir, do you want me to go to Beth’s?”
Shade gruffly cleared his throat. “No, follow me.”
Lily obediently followed behind as he climbed the stairs. Coming to a stop in front of their bed, she waited patiently for his instructions. There was no fear in her for what he would do or ask as he removed his clothes.
She traced his tattoos with her eyes as Shade went to the chest where he kept his toys. There wasn’t a piece of skin that wasn’t covered with a tattoo. Her husband lived in a shadowed world of his own making. The only time she truly believed he stepped out of the shadows was when he had to protect someone that he cared about or when they were in their bedroom. Then the real Shade came out. Ruthless and unwaveringly, he would drive her over a brink into a realm that she only wanted to find with him.
Finding out that they were expecting a baby and that he hadn’t known sooner that Harvey had been pestering her shook him, since they had slipped past his notice. Gavin taking over his job to protect Ginny was just as hard to accept. Shade didn’t do a job halfway, and not being able to find the stalker was irritating to Shade’s pride. But she knew why he had wanted her to go to Beth’s.
The men loved Gavin. They had been in protective mode since he was recovered. That Shade had stepped in and ripped off the shield that everyone had been protecting him with couldn’t have been easy. Not only had he exposed Gavin’s vulnerably to get what he wanted him to do, but Shade had exposed his own. He had stepped out of his shadowed world to get Gavin to take the first steps toward healing. Like when he needed to be stern with Clint and John, he’d done what he believed was in the best interest of Gavin.
Being loved by Shade had its advantages and disadvantages. He would always do what was right, no matter how much it hurt, both the person he was trying to help or himself, because intrinsically, Shade was a protector. He had thrown Gavin out of his safe nest so he could fly again. And he would fly again. Shade would see to that, even if he fought him every inch of the way.
He had saved her sanity, giving her wings that she didn’t even know how to use.
“I might have been busy the last few days, but I haven’t forgotten about the punishment I owe you.”
“Punishment?” Perplexed, she took her eyes off Shade’s firm behind. “I’ve been good.”
“Did I say you could talk?”
“No, sir.” She bowed her head, watching him from underneath her lashes. She waited expectantly for him to open his armoire.
“How did you get in my locked chest to take your panties out?”
“I took your keys when you were in the shower.” She had known when she did it that there would be punishment when he found out. It was another Valentine’s Day present to him.
“You just can’t stay out of trouble, can you? First, you steal my keys to take something that belongs to me.”
She knew when she spoke it would make her punishment worse. “Technically, they were mine.”
Her husband loved it when she pretended to be a brat.
He clicked his tongue at her, closing the first drawer he opened the one on the bottom. Shade took out several items before closing the drawer, then placed them on the bed before he moved to stand in front of her. Crossing his arms over his chest, he studied her.
It was hard not to fidget, but she remained still, knowing it would give him another reason to punish her. Valentine’s Day was over; there was no need to go overboard and spoil him.
“I’ve had a terrible day. I found out I’m having another baby and my wife had several opportunities to tell me. Had to be nice to a man that’s trying to put The Last Riders out of business his first day on the job. And then, to put a cherry on top of this clusterfuck of a day, I had an argument with a man I would have rather cut off my right arm for than fight. Do you know which was the most irritating?”
Lily waited until Shade gave her a curt nod before responding.
“Bubba. He’s a little out there.”
“Angel, he’s so out there he’s no longer on planet Earth.”
Lily had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. He pretty much summed up how everyone in town felt about Bubba. She didn’t mention that Bubba’s brothers were just as out there as he was. She didn’t think Shade would want to hear that. The chance of any of them getting a job from The Last Riders were between nil and non-existent after he spent the day with Bubba.
“Did you know he freaks out when he sees anyone wearing green?”
Again, she waited until he nodded before answering.
“I should have probably mentioned that fact.”
“Probably,” he said sarcastically. “He nearly ripped Rex’s head off when he arrived to pick up the orders. Then, because he was so scared of Bubba, he refused to go near the truck and made Bubba load it himself.”
“Is he the one that’s vertically challenged?” she asked curiously before she could stop herself, regretting it as soon as she did when Shade picked up one of the items on the bed.
“He’s short as fuck, and Jewell said that Rex is going to file assault charges and wants physical and mental compensation before he comes back to work.”
“Bubba reacts without thinking when he’s frightened.”
Shade used the handle of his paddle to raise her chin. “That fucker wasn’t scared. You want to know how I could tell?”
Lily tightened her lips, praying to God she wouldn’t laugh at Shade’s disgruntled expression.
“He wants to be paid only in cash. Now tell me one thing: what color is cash?”
She waited for his nod before answering.
“Green.”
“That’s right. Fucking green.” Shade used the tip of his paddle to turn her around to face the bed. “And I had to put on a smile the whole time instead of firing him because I promised you that I would be fucking nice. Get on the bed.”
Lifting a knee, she climbed on the bed.
“Stop.”
He stopped her at the bottom of the bed, her body barely on the mattress. Unable to see him in the position, butterflies fluttered in the pit of her stomach, anticipating the crack of the paddle on her bottom.