“When you came out, you looked so beautiful I couldn’t move. Then, a red sports car pulled in, and a man got out, holding the door for you. I could tell he had money. He was dressed in an expensive suit with his hair all slicked back. You kissed him before getting in the car. I saw the ring on your finger and knew you were going to marry him.
“How could I compete with him? The pants I had on didn’t cost as much as those fancy shoes he wore. I couldn’t give you the house or the money or life he could, so I left. I was jealous and angry, but I left because you were living the life I thought you wanted and deserved. If I had any idea you needed me, I would have been there. I swear, Sutton, I would have been there for you.” He sat down next to her, placing his arm around her shoulder then pulling her to him until her head lay on his shoulder.
They sat there quietly for hours, each regretting the missed opportunities. She believed Lisa’s lies, and Tate had believed he couldn’t measure up. Neither of them had faith in the love they had found that one special summer.
“How did your daughter die?” Tate eventually asked.
“After Scott and I were married, it didn’t take long for me to realize my mistake. We had only been back from our honeymoon for two weeks when he started abusing me.
“I was taking a bath when he walked in and asked why I hadn’t quit my job after he had asked me to. I told him I had never said I would quit working, and he dragged me out of the bathtub by my hair and beat me. I lay there on the wet floor, believing I was going to die.
“When he finished, he left me to go to bed as if nothing had happened. It took me a while, but I managed to get up and clean myself up. I tried to leave, and he told me if I did, he would kill my parents. I believed him. He was crazy and wasn’t trying to hide it any longer. The next day, he called my work and told my boss I wouldn’t be back. I was even afraid to visit pap before he died.
“Not one person called to check on me, and I didn’t know where to turn to for help. I didn’t want my parents to know I had married a man who would hurt me, but could potentially hurt them. I was ashamed and angry at myself for falling for his crap.
“He made sure I was isolated and afraid. I became that woman I swore I would never be when I heard about abused women. He would beat me and then hold me and say it was for my own good. I began to believe him. He stole my self-respect; I couldn’t ever make him happy. If I cooked him something, he would call it slop or hillbilly swill. I used to be a good cook, remember?”
“The best I ever had.” Tate’s soft voice sent a wave of reassurance, though Scott’s insults still had her doubting if there was truth to his statements.
“He broke my arm when he found out I was taking birth control. Then, when I didn’t get pregnant, he would call me an infertile bitch. If he didn’t like the way I was dressed, he would call me a slut. I wouldn’t wear anything low-cut or sleeveless, even though I stayed in the house all day. I couldn’t go to the grocery store unless he went with me, and he had alarms on the windows and doors that would tell him if I tried to leave. I was trapped and didn’t know how to get away.
“When I became pregnant, the beatings stopped, but he wouldn’t even let me go to the obstetrician alone. He stayed with me every second, even during the exams. It still boggles my mind that, because of his position, he was given so much leeway. Even professional, educated people abuse their spouses. It isn’t based on being poor.”
“I know that,” he assured her.
“I wish my obstetrician had known that. One of the questions when I was admitted to the hospital to have Valentine was whether I was afraid of anyone. She asked me in front of Scott. How was I supposed to answer? I was too afraid to tell the truth. God help me, I should have. My daughter would still be alive.”
“Sutton, I learned a long time ago that ‘what’ and ‘if’ are the two most painful words in the world. I still blame myself for not going fishing with my parents the day they died.”
“I want her back so badly. Sometimes, I can’t breathe because I want it so much…” She broke off as tears she didn’t know how she was still capable of crying slid down her cheeks.