I swear my heart stopped beating. "Did that happen to you?"
"No." She shook her head. "But a friend of mine had some issues with this one guy. He just wouldn't take no for an answer. Kept calling her and stopping by, following her sometimes. It was scary there for a while."
"What the hell makes people act like that?"
"I don't know," she said. "Overblown sense of entitlement? Maybe they just get away with behaving that way so often that it seems like a good bet to them. Some people just seem to think violence is always the answer. Trying to control someone, having someone afraid of them must feel good to them I guess."
I moved the ice pack aside, trying to see her better. Not that it worked with my eyelids all swollen. "I want you to know, I would never want you to be afraid of me."
"I don't think too much investment in a relationship is a character flaw you're ever likely to blunder into." She smirked. "But I appreciate the sentiment."
I frowned. "Not that we're together or anything..." Damn. "I didn't mean to say that. But, if you were ever in trouble or anything. If ever someone was hurting you, you know I'd help, right? I'll believe whatever you tell me. I wouldn't doubt you."
Her smile was slow, hesitant. "Thank you, Eric."
"Just wanted you to know."
Silence.
"Is the Advil kicking in yet?" she asked, setting the ice gently back on my eye.
"I'm tough. I'll live."
"Good to hear."
I smothered a yawn. "Sorry. Tell me about your day."
"Ah, well. Today, Ada and I tried our first mommy and me yoga class."
"Did you enjoy it?"
"It was fun." She leaned against my shoulder, relaxing. It didn't mean anything. With the way she was holding the ice pack, resting against me was easiest. Sure as hell, I didn't mind at all. This was definitely my idea of playing nurse.
"Good."
"Going out with her is getting easier with each practice too," she said. "I mean, I still have to carry a crazy amount of stuff. I have three separate bags, one for diaper changes, one for other emergencies, and one for toys and other distractions." She gave the sort of satisfied sigh that suggested she'd itemized and labeled each component to her heart's content. "But it's doable."
"Glad to hear it."
Suddenly, she grabbed my arm. "God, Eric."
"What?"
"I totally forgot I had something to show you. The black eye distracted me. Hold this." Then she grabbed my hand and attached it to the ice-filled facecloth. I did as told and she jumped off the couch, grabbing her cell from the table. Her finger dashed across the screen and then she was holding it up in front of my face.
"She finally smiled?" I asked, incredulous.
"Isn't that amazing?"
There on the small screen was a shot of Ada with her little round face, button nose, the usual drool-covered chin, and a big toothless grin. God, my chest filled with warmth.
"That's so awesome," I said.
"Yeah. It was after a bottle."
"Fair enough, food makes me happy too."
Laughing softly, she swiped through to the next picture. Same grin, slightly less drool.
"She's beautiful, just like her mom," I said.
Beside me, Jean stiffened. "You think I'm beautiful?"
"I, ah--"
"Wait. Stop."
I did so.
"You were just being kind." She sat on the edge of the couch, tossing her cell onto the coffee table. "That never happened. God, how embarrassing."
Shit. Did friends not tell friends they were a goddess sent to an undeserving planet? I mean, Joe, Pat, and Taka would happily slap me on the back and tell me I was a dickhead. Which everyone knew was basically bro code for "I love you" or something like that. Letting them know how I felt about them wasn't a big deal. Dad would just kind of grunt at me, but that was Dad. Surely complimenting a female friend wasn't totally out of the question.
"I've never mentioned that before?" I asked. "Seriously? Thought I had."
She turned to face me, brows drawn in.
"I figured it was obvious. I mean, you just are." I shrugged. "That a problem? I'm not hitting on you either. Promise."
She didn't seem convinced.
"I mean, it's not even about me," I protested. "It's not like I think you're gorgeous. You just are. Objective fact. Nothing to do with my opinion. It's like someone saying to Joe that he's tall. And everyone would be like, thanks, Captain Obvious. It's like that."
Yep, good one. Also, I wasn't rambling at all.
And still, she said nothing.
"Christ, I've done the wrong thing again, haven't I?"
"No."
With all of the weirdness in the air, it was hard to believe her. "Thanks for the ice, Jean. I'll, um, let you get to bed."
She stood and so did I, heading for the door. Maybe I'd send Joe a text and ask him to ask Alex if I'd messed things up. Not that I really wanted anyone sticking their nose into what went on between Jean and me. But constantly being confused as fuck got old fast. I'd only come here in the hope of some sympathetic attention to my wounded face, after all.
"'Night," she said, holding open the door.
I just gave her a chin tip and headed for my place. Face throbbing, feet weary, and all around over life. At least until tomorrow morning. I fished my keys out of my pocket and unlocked my front door. Peace, quiet, and darkness. Perfect. Except the door had no sooner shut than someone started knocking on it.
When I opened said door, Jean stood there, eyes huge for some reason. "Eric, I've been thinking..."
"Since I left ten seconds ago?"
"A bit longer than that, actually."
"Okay." I leaned against the door frame, crossing my arms and trying to feel defensive. But I could guess what was coming. This was how all my efforts to be friends with a girl were going to end. Having not properly read the how-to-not-be-a-dick manual that everyone else in the world seemed to have a copy of, I'd opened my mouth and screwed the whole thing up. The perfectly fucked ending to a perfectly fucked evening.
Her gaze shifted back to her own door, then to her bare feet, to my face, then off to the side again.
"Jean?" Just get it over with, and let me curl up in a heap in the corner of my bed.
"Ithinkweshouldstartsleepingtogether."
"What did you say?" I leaned in closer. "I didn't quite catch that."
The woman took a very deep breath. "I realize you've been taking a break from sex, but I've been thinking, and maybe it would be okay if you and I were like friends who took things into the bedroom," she said, and then rattled on without pause. "No pressure about the sex or anything. Neither of us are in a place to be thinking long term and we've both got so much going on that attempting a relationship would just be crazy. But I feel comfortable with you and I think that most of the time you feel comfortable with me too. And we both find each other attractive, it seems. At least, you said I was beautiful so I'm hoping you find me sexually attractive as well. If you don't that's totally fine. Like I said, no pressure. Either way, whether we have sex or not, we'd still definitely remain friends. I mean, of course we'd stay friends. You're one of the people I'm closest to here, I don't know what I'd do if we stopped talking, and you're so great with Ada too. She absolutely adores you. So this whole sex thing would be totally separate from our friendship. Or it would be like, an addition to it. But not in the way that I expect it to go anywhere. Just two people who really like each other in a friendly platonic way having sex."
I just stared. No wonder she'd taken a deep breath.
"Wait, does that make sense?" She frowned at her own words. "Platonic sex?"
"You keep saying sex."
"I do, yes."
"My brain kind of got a bit stuck on that." I ran my tongue over my teeth, giving myself a moment to sort it all out in my head. I had failed to grasp the way this conversation was going to go, and it was taking me a moment to catch up. "Platonic friends who have
sex ... that's what you're suggesting?"
She raised her hand, fingers twitching. "Platonic is probably the wrong word there."
"Probably."
"Though in my defense, I'm sure Plato himself would have had sex and he's kind of where the word came from and everything."
"Right. Good that that's settled."
"Um, anyway," she said, taking a step back. "You think about it. I'm going to go back into my apartment now and maybe we'll talk about this later or maybe we won't."
"We'll talk about this later. That's a definite."
"Sure. Okay." Then the woman turned and ran back down the hallway, disappearing into her place. She could really move when she wanted to.
I stood in the now empty space, my brain not only hurting, but quite possibly more confused than ever. Jean wanted to have sex. At least, I was pretty sure that's what her word vomit had been about. Unless the knock to the head had made me delusional. There was always a small chance. And the woman might think she and I getting horizontal would change nothing. But that was crap. Against all expectations, I'd gotten to a place in my life where I was pretty much best friends with a woman. I loved talking to her. I loved hearing about her day. She was funny and cool and kind and this could ruin everything.
"I should say no," I mumbled.
Dammit.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"Hold up," said my brother, forkful of bacon hovering in front of his face. "Eric, are you actually complaining because a woman you're attracted to wants to have sex with you?"
I paused. "Yes."
"Honestly, I don't know what to do with that."
Mom just laughed.