“Since when?”
“Since she called me and asked me to.” Ada cocked her eyebrow in that way she did whenever she wasn’t happy with me. “Som’ting wrong wit’ dat?”
Kara was Ada’s granddaughter, and from the day she was born, it seemed like she was always into some kind of trouble—and it only got worse as she got older. To make matters worse, she was one of those chicks who thought the world owed her something, especially her grandmother. She was always taking advantage of her kindness, and I feared this time would be no different. “No, just surprised you’re gonna go back after what happened last time you were there.”
“’Cause I don’t give up on da peoples I cares about just like I never gaves up on you.” Her expression softened as she said, “Dat’s what you do when you loves somebody.”
“Even when they don’t do anything but hurt ya, time after time?”
“Dat’s right, ’cause I don’t do it for her. I do it for me.” She reached over and moved her bag to the ground, then motioned for me to sit. “I thinks it’s time for you and me to have ourselves a talk.”
“I’m not in the mood for a lecture, Ada.”
“Didn’t ask ya if you were in da mood, son.” She arched that eyebrow again. “Now sit.”
While I wasn’t happy about it, I did as she said and sat down next to her. “All right. Say what you gotta say.”
“I know it ain’t gonna be easy. Lord, I knows better dan anyone what hell yous been through, but da time’s come for you to stop holdin’ on to da past.”
“What makes you think I’m holding on to the past?”
“’Cause I ain’t no fool. I can sees how it weighs on ya, especially when yous wit’ Remington. All dose memories. Dat pain are likes chains pulling ya down, and nobody can lives like dat.” She shook her head as she went on, “I knows you think you gots your part you played in losing yo folks and dat young girl you loved, but da good Lord had plans for dem ‘dat didn’t have nothin’ to do with you.”
“If I’d been there, then maybe I could’ve done—”
“No!” she interrupted. “You can’t do’s dat to yourself. It ain’t right, boy. You couldn’t have done a damn thing, and it’s time for you to accept dat!”
“Not sure I can do that, Ada.”
“Well, you best be figurin’ it out, or yous gonna lose dat girl in dare.” Ada motioned her hand behind her. “Gots no idea why, but she loves you. Down deep in her soul. And I’m telling ya now, dat kind of love don’t come aroun’ er’aday. So, if you wanna hold on to somethin’, hold on to dat.
My chest tightened as I thought back to the months that followed my parents’ death. All the heartache, pain, and abandonment I felt was almost too much to bear. Lindsey was the only reason why I was able to learn to live again, to open my heart again, and it nearly destroyed me when I lost her. I didn’t know if I had it in me to take a chance on going through all that again. “I can’t...”
“Don’t give me dat nonsense. You can do anything you puts your minds to. I’ve seen da way yous looks at each other. Y’alls got somethin’. Any fool can see that.” She huffed. “You need to open dem eyes. Stop lookin’ at da past and start lookin’ at what’s right in front of ya.”
“And what happens if I lose her?”
“And what if ya don’t?” She gave me a knowing look as she said, “It’s time to let go of all dem fears, all da guilt, and whatever else you’ve been holdin’ on to. You’ve gots a life to live, and it’s time to start livin’ it. Yous a good man, Noah, and yous deserve some happiness in your life. Your folks and dat girl would want that for you.”
“You make it all sound so easy.”
“No, child. Nothin’ about this is gonna be easy, but nothin’ worth havin’ is easy.” When Cletus, our newest prospect, pulled through the gate, Ada stood up and grabbed her bag. “Now, I’m gonna get to gettin’. I suggest you do the same.”
“I’ll do my best.”
I took the bag from her hand and carried it over to Cletus’s truck. Once I’d put it in the back, I helped Ada inside and said my goodbyes. As I stood there watching them drive through the gate, I thought about everything Ada had said. I had to give it to her. She had a way of getting you in the jugular, but as usual, a lot of what she said was right. I had been holding on to the past. It was a big part of me, and even if I’d wanted to let go, I never knew how. I wasn’t sure I had it in me to do it now, but for the first time, I actually had the desire to try. I didn’t even know it was possible for me to feel the kinds of things I did for Remington.