Could I live without Savannah? Was I going to have a choice when she graduated and took a job somewhere else? I had to say no. I couldn’t sleep with her and walk away.
I was already too addicted from that one kiss for that.
Sleeping with her would be a mistake. A foolish, reckless, selfish thing to do.
Fuck the consequences. I wanted to do it, anyway.
That didn’t mean I was going to.
6
Savannah
"Whoa," I said, reaching out to gently grab my dad's wrist. "Easy on the salt, Dad."
My dad rolled his eyes but had an easy grin on his face. He threw another dash of salt into the oversized stockpot on the stove with a mischievous look.
I shook my head, taking up a good lean next to the stove just in case he decided to add any more ingredients to the chili that weren’t needed. "You know that other spices work just as well on this chili, Dad. Too much salt, and you'll kill the flavor. Not to mention your blood pressure."
Dad cringed but barked out a halfhearted laugh. "I'm responsible for a team of fifty-three barking men. I think it's safe to say my blood pressure is screwed regardless."
“They’re not animals,” I argued.
“Not all of them,” he said, laughing. “But they do their part in driving up my stress level.” He shook his head. “Not just me, but all the coaches. Just yesterday Olsen was telling me he had to kick one of his star players off the team over two teammates fighting over the same girl.” He sucked his teeth. “There are reasons I have rules in my locker room,” he continued, eying me. “At least my boys listen, and leave you alone.”
I swallowed hard. “You really shouldn’t—”
Dad held up a hand to cut me off. “Don’t,” he said. “Not today. Rules are important. This team is our livelihood. And you’re my baby girl. I wouldn’t hesitate to kick someone off the Raptors if it meant keeping your heart safe. But since I have the rule, I don’t have to worry about that. And neither do you. Win-win.”
Guilt swirled in my stomach, knowing what I’d done with Hendrix. What I’d asked of him. But, honestly, Dad’s rule was ancient. And downright wrong. My body, my choice.
I gave him a chiding look and stirred the chili that had started to simmer. One of our Sunday traditions during the off-season was chili, cornbread, and whatever Netflix show he was binging. It was our one time to be just Dad and Savannah as opposed to Coach Goodman and Coach Goodman’s daughter. I cherished these moments. It became a staple of ours ever since…well, ever since we lost my mother when I was five.
My fingers absentmindedly traced the tiny star necklace that hung on a thin chain around my neck. One of my most cherished items. The last gift my mother gave me before she got into the car accident that ended her life.
I could still remember the way she smelled, like cinnamon and vanilla. I could still remember the way her arms felt as she carried me to bed and tucked me in. She cinched that star-covered blanket over my five-year-old body and flicked off the light only to reveal an entire galaxy on my ceiling. I may have been a little bit obsessed, and she always indulged me. Always called me her star.
I crossed the expanse of my father's kitchen and wrapped my arms around him in a quick hug just because I could. It didn't matter how long it had been, the grief of losing my mother was like a tiny hole in my heart that never would heal. It wasn’t an all-encompassing grief that threatened to swallow me whole, but it was there nonetheless.
"What did I do to deserve that?" Dad asked as I released him and opened the fridge to grab a sparkling water.
I twisted off the cap, tossed it in the trash, and took a small sip. "Just love you is all," I said, and I meant it with all my heart. Regardless of my issues with his overprotectiveness, he was an amazing father. Sure he may have been a little overbearing in the early years, and even now, with his off-limits rule for his team, but he’d done everything he could to raise me right.
And now here I was about to embark on my own career, something I'd worked toward for half my life. The thrill of being in the epicenter of a professional athletics team was a rush you could only understand if you’d done it before. And I'd done it since forever, and I loved it. I loved the fast action, the strategy, and the quick-thinking with each new problem that arose.
I chewed on my bottom lip, something sticky and heavy gnawing at the center of my chest.