Would I ever be able to put a man before my career? Before myself? Or was I destined to be viewed as the cold business bitch who worked too much? Couldn’t I be both? The cutthroat businesswoman who loved her job and a flesh and blood woman with needs who enjoyed having a man who supported her choices as well? Did it have to be one or the other?
Axel had never once indicated that he’d make me choose, but I couldn’t help but be terrified of living the same mistakes over and over again. I would not be forced to choose again. Never. Not after Devon had so thoroughly broken me over it.
Axel is nothing like Devon.
True.
More true than I realized.
Because Devon had been mine at one point…mine enough to break me.
And Axel?
I was too terrified to give him that kind of power.
An hour later, Hufflepuff had everything she needed to travel home, and Axel was waiting for me outside the airport.
Nerves coiled and twisted in my stomach as I stepped out of the taxi and walked toward him. I still hadn’t listened to his voicemail from earlier, too busy scrambling to outfit my cat with a proper travel carrier. I held the empty carrier in one hand, and the tabby tucked into my chest with my other arm. The taxi driver rolled my luggage toward where I stopped before my Viking.
His shoulders were loose, his eyes bright as they tracked my every step.
“Hello—”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” I cut him off, the words bursting from my mouth in one-part panic, two-parts apology.
He furrowed his brows, stepping the rest of the distance between us.
“I was...I didn’t…” Good God, I spoke and negotiated for a living. How was I so tongue tangled now?
Because I don’t want to hurt him.
Because somewhere between the red velvet cupcakes on our wedding day and now, I’d grown so close to him the thought of angering him or hurting him...it twisted me up inside until all I was left with was doubt.
Axel reached toward Hufflepuff, gently stroking her soft fur. “You went without me,” he said, eyes on my cat.
“I didn’t want you involved in my mess.”
He nodded, Hufflepuff purring furiously while he pet her.
“I...had to do this on my own,” I said. “I didn’t want to use you and your Viking-like intimidation to get her back. And honestly, I don’t ever want the good parts of my present to touch the bad parts of my past.” I chewed on my bottom lip for a moment, trying to catch my breath that had become erratic. “Do you understand? I truly am sorry for silencing your call—”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” he said, sliding an arm around my waist. “I know how strong you are. Know you didn’t need me to face down that asshole.”
I sighed, some tight part in my chest uncoiling.
“And the call?” I asked, needing him to address if I’d crossed some relationship line by silencing him.
A soft, easy smile shaped his lips. “I just wanted to know if you wanted something sweet before the flight. And I have no issues with you not taking a call from me. Not when you were doing something as important as rescuing this tiny beast.” He pet the tabby in my arms again. “She looks like a Hufflepuff,” he said. “They’re caring and tenacious, right?”
I jolted a bit, shock no doubt coloring my eyes. “Did you Google it?” I chuckled.
“No,” he said, scoffing slightly as he grabbed my carry-on and herded us toward the airport entrance.
“Then how—”
“I may have started listening to the books during flights. Or away-game bus rides. Or any chance I get.”
I halted in my tracks, my heart swelling so much my chest ached. I swallowed down the emotion. “What book are you on?” I asked.
“Four.”
My brows rose. “Better than King?” I teased.
He growled playfully. “Different. Genres,” he said. “I like them both.”
“I can’t believe you’re listening to them,” I said.
“I’m interested in anything you’re interested in, Langley. And since you named your favorite being something from the book, how could I not listen to them?” He flashed me a look that screamed how obvious that answer was, but it still shook me to my core.
Dangerous, terrifying, blissful territory. That’s where my heart tread.
Because each day that passed and I was still married to Axel...it was becoming harder and harder to convince my heart that this relationship had a firm expiration date.
9
Axel
Langley’s cat stared me down as I brushed my teeth. I finished and looked down at the little orange ball of fluff. “You’ve been fed. You have water. What else could you possibly need?”
The damn thing meowed at me.
“I don’t speak cat,” I said in Swedish. Hufflepuff wound through my legs and started to purr. “Typical female,” I chuckled and ran my hand down her fur. “Accent gets to them every time. Except your mother, who seems impervious to my charms.”