"I did not like grandmother Lindel much. She be a cold woman. But I respected her. She be fair, after a fashion. If she punished me, and she did, it be only because I broke her rules. She switched me, hard, but only for an infraction I be warned of. She taught me, she guided me in the gift, but she never gave me a kindness. It be a hard life, but I learned discipline.
"Most of all, I learned to use the gift. For that, I will always be thankful to her, for that be my life. The gift be touching something higher, something more noble than what I be."
"I'm sorry, Adie." He started eating his cold stew because he didn't know what else to do. He wasn't hungry anymore.
Adie rose from her chair and walked to the fireplace, staring into the flames for a time. Zedd waited silently for her to find the words.
"After I reached the age of a woman, I be allowed to let my hair grow." She smiled a small smile. "At that age, as I filled into my form, I be thought an attractive woman."
Zedd pushed the bowl of stew away and went to stand by her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "No less attractive now, dear lady."
She put a hand over his without looking from the flames. "In time, I fell in love with a young man. His name be Pell. He be an awkward young man, but a good and noble man, and he be kindness itself to me. He would have brought me the ocean, one spoonful at a time, if he thought it would please me. I thought the sun rose to show me his face, and the moon came out to let me taste his lips. Every beat of my heart be for him.
"We wanted to be wed. The King's circle of Choora, led by a man named Mathrin Galliene, had other ideas."
She took her hand away and gripped a knot of robes at her stomach. "They had decided I was to be wed to a man from the next town, the son of their mayor. I was a prize to the people of Choora. Having a sorceress bonded to a people by her oath was seen as a sign of the virtue of those people. To give me to an important man from a larger town was cause for excitement, joy, expectation. It would seal our towns in many ways, not the least of which was valuable trade.
"I be in a panic. I went to grandmother Lindel and begged her to intercede for me. I told her of my love for Pell, and that I did not wish to be a prize in return for trade. I told her the gift was mine, and not to be used to bind me into slavery. A sorceress not be a slave. Grandmother Lindel was a sorceress. The gift in her be disdained, but people respected her because she be devoted to her oath, and they held more than a healthy respect for her: she be feared. I pleaded for her help."
"Doesn't seem like the kind of person to help you."
"There be no one else to turn to. She made me leave her for one day, so she could think on it. It be the longest day of my life. When I came to her at the end of the day, she told me to kneel before her, and give the oath. She told me I had better mean it more than any time I had ever said it before, and she had made me say it often. I knelt and said the oath, meaning every word.
"When I finished, I held my breath and waited. I still be on my knees. She looked down her nose at me, that sour frown of hers still on her face. And then she said, 'Though you be wild of spirit, child, you have worked to tame it. The people have asked for your oath, and you have given it. May I not live to see you break it. You owe no debt beyond that. I will take care of the circle and see to Mathrin Galliene. You will wed Pell'. I wept into the hem of her dress."
Adie was silent, staring into the fire, lost in the memories. Zedd lifted an eyebrow. "Well, did you wed your love?"
"Yes," she whispered in her soft rasp. She took the spoon off its hook and stirred the stew while Zedd watched her. At last, she hung it back at its place. "For three months, I thought life be beyond bliss."
Her mouth worked soundlessly as she stared into nothingness. Zedd put and arm around her shoulder and gently led her back to the table. "Sit, Adie. Let me bring you a cup of tea."
She was still sitting, her hands folded together on the table, staring off when he returned with the steaming cups. He placed one in her thin hands as he sat opposite her. He didn't press her to go on before she was ready.
At last, she did. "One day, the day of my birth and nineteen years, Pell and I had taken a walk in the country. I be with child." She lifted the cup in both hands and took a sip. "We spent the day walking past farms, thinking of names for our child, holding hands, and... well you know the foolishness of love at that age.
"On our way back, we had to walk past the Choora mill, just outside of town. I thought it strange no one be there. Someone always be at the mill." Adie closed her eyes for a moment and then took another sip of tea. "As it turned out, there be people there. The Blood of the Fold. They be waiting for us."
Zedd knew of them. In the larger cities of Nicobarese, the Blood of the Fold were an organized corps of men who hunted Banelings; rooted out evil, as they saw it. In other Lands, there were men like them, who went by other names, but they were the same. None were especially picky about proof. A corpse was the only proof they need show of their job well done. If they said the body was that of a Baneling, then it was. In the smaller towns, the Blood were usually self-appointed toughs and thugs. The Blood of the Fold were widely feared. With good reason.
"They took us..." her voice broke, but only that once, "into separate rooms in the bottom of the mill. It be dark, and smelled of the damp stone walls and grain dust. I did not know what be done to Pell. I be almost too terrified to breath.
"Mathrin Galliene said Pell and I be Banelings. He said I would not wed as I should have because I wished to bring the Keeper's notice to Choora. There be a sickness, a fever, in the country that summer, and it brought death to many a family. Mathrin Galliene said Pell and I brought the sickness. I denied it be so, and spoke the oath to show proof." Adie turned the cup in her fingers as she stared at it.
Zedd touched her hand. "Drink, Adie. It will help you." He had put a pinch of cloud leaf into her tea, to help relax her.
She took a long swallow. "Mathrin Galliene said Pell and I be Banelings, and the graveyard be full of the proof of that. He said he wanted only for Pell and I to tell the truth, to confess. The other men of the Blood be growling like hounds around a rabbit, ready to tear us apart. I be terrified for Pell.
"As they beat me, I knew they would be doing worse to him, to make him name me a Baneling. Nothing be better for the Blood than to have someone name a loved one as a Baneling. They would not listen when I denied it." She looked up into his eyes. "They would not listen."
"Anything you said," Zedd offered quietly, "would have made no difference, Adie. It wouldn't have mattered. When you are in a leg-hold trap, reasoning with the steel does no good."
She nodded. "I know." Her face was a calm mask over a thunderhead. "I could have stopped it, had I used the gift, but it be against everything I be taught, believed. It be as if using the gift would prove to myself that what the men said be true. I felt it would have been blasphemy against the Creator. I be as helpless while the men beat me as if I did not have the gift."
She drained the tea from her cup. "Even as I screamed, I could hear Pell's screams echoing from another room."
Zedd went to the fire and brought the pot back, filling her cup again. "It wasn't your fault, Adie. Don't blame yourself."
She flicked a glance up at him as he poured himself another cup. "They wanted me to name Pell as a Baneling. I told them I would not, that they could kill me, but they could not make me say that it be so.
"Mathrin bent close to me, put his face close to mine. In my head, I can still see his smile. He said, 'I believe you, girl. But it doesn't matter, because it not be you we want to name the Baneling. It be Pell we want to speak the name of the Baneling. It be you we want Pell to name. You be the Baneling.'
"Then the men held me down. Mathrin tried to pour something down my throat. It burned my mouth. He held my nose. It be swallow or drown. I wished to drown, but I swallowed without wanting to. It burned my throat like swallowing fire. I could not speak. I could not make a sound. I could not even scream. No sound b
e there. Only burning pain. More pain than I had ever known." She took a sip of tea, as if to sooth her throat.
"Then the men took me in the room with Pell and tied me to a chair in front of him. Mathrin held me by my hair so I could not move. It broke my heart to see what they had done to my Pell. His face be white as snow. They had cut off most of his fingers, one knuckle at a time." Her own fingers tightened around her cup as she stared into the vision.
"Mathrin told Pell that I had confessed that Pell be a Baneling. Pell's eyes be big, looking at me. I tried to scream that it not be true, but no sound came. I tried to shake my head that it not be true, but Mathrin held me so I could not.
"Pell told them he did not believe them. They cut off another finger. They told him they only do it because I named him. Only do it on my word. Pell kept his eyes on me as he shook, and kept telling them he did not believe them. They told Pell I had told them I wished him to be killed because he be a Baneling. Still Pell said he did not believe them. He said he loved me.
"Then he told Pell I had named him a Baneling, and that if it not be so, I could deny it and they would let us both go free. He told Pell that I had promised I would not deny it because he be a Baneling, and I wanted him to die for it. Pell screamed for me to tell them. Screamed for me to deny it. He screamed my name, screamed for me to say something.
"I tried, but I could say nothing. My throat be fire. My voice did not work. Mathrin held me by my hair; I could not move. Pell's eyes be big as he stared at me. As I sat silent.
"Then Pell spoke to me. 'How could you do that to me, Adie? How could you name me a Baneling?' Then he cried.