“Yes. I asked you a question. You didn’t want to answer it so you turned the radio on after I asked you again. You did that so I wouldn’t ask you again. You hushed me.”
“Oh.”
He was still struggling to figure out what he had done. A pang of sympathy went through me. He had no idea he’d done it. That meant he had done it before, maybe with Brianna. I tried a different way. “You never talked to me about Brianna.”
“I was supposed to?” His eyebrows went high and alarm crossed his features.
?
?No, I meant maybe you did that to her or she did that to you or something?” The confusion on his face doubled and I sighed. Maybe I wasn’t saying it right, but then I started to wonder what I was even saying in the first place. “Never mind. I’m hungry.”
“Great.” He was visibly relieved as we got out and headed into the taco place.
It was a small, but quaint restaurant. Large Mexican hats and sombreros were on the wall, along with newspaper clippings of bull riding events. Fake cactuses were set in the corners of the room, along with stuffed snakes and one armadillo.
As we slid into a window booth in the front, raised laughter from the back caught my attention. The sound of a toilet flushing filled the room and as I glanced at the table, my heart stopped.
A rail thin girl stared back at me. Her eyeliner was smudged and the lipstick had been rubbed from her lips. She sat up straight and flipped her dirty blonde hair over her shoulder as she narrowed her eyes to see me better. Then the bathroom door swung open and closed. Jeremy Benson walked through as he scratched his chest idly with a big yawn on his face. He wore the same military style buzz cut and he looked tired. But as he saw Barbie’s scrutiny, he looked also and I gulped. Surprise and delight flared in his depths, replaced with something darker.
“What’s wrong?”
Eric was frowning at me with a menu in hand. The waitress was beside him, both looked concerned.
“Nothing.”
“Oh. Do you know what you want to drink?”
“Oh. I don’t care. Diet soda.”
Eric’s frown deepened, but I couldn’t help it. I was speaking fast and I wanted to be gone from there. The old knots formed in my gut again and I had an intense desire to call Jesse, but then a hand was slapped down in the middle of our table.
“Well, lookey here.” Jeremy grinned at me and twisted around to study Eric with the same smile. “Who is this, Jesse’s Girl?”
“That’s Eric Nathan.” My voice came out as a squeak. I swallowed again and came out stronger. “His dad is a cop.”
Eric’s eyebrows shot up as he looked from Jeremy to me. “Who are you?”
“It don’t matter,” Jeremy said smoothly before he turned and leaned against the table with his back to Eric. He scooted closer to me and dropped his voice to an intimate whisper. “Are you trying to scare me away, Jesse’s Girl? Or aren’t you Jesse’s girl anymore? He seemed real protective of you at my place. Did that change? I’d sure like to know what happened to change that.”
My eyes were firmly attached to my lap. I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t move, but when I felt his finger touch my arm, I jerked upright. I almost jumped out of my seat and Jeremy placed his hand on my shoulder as he laughed. “Well, steady there, Jesse’s Girl. I was only asking you a question. You don’t have to get all spirited like an old horse or something. I ain’t cornering you with ill intent. We’re all friends here.” His smirk deepened and something dark flashed in his eyes as he included Eric in his last statement.
Eric had tensed up. His eyes were hard and his jaw was firm, but his gaze lingered on me for a moment before he slid off his stool.
“Oh, whoa, hey.” Jeremy made a show of backing away from the table with his hands up in surrender. “I’m not here to start anything.”
“You’re making her uncomfortable.”
“Yeah, well, I can see why she might be.” He winked at me as he regarded Eric again. Jeremy swayed his body around. He was loose and having fun, while Eric stood as rigid as a statue. “Oh, come on. Like this ain’t funny. She’s Jesse’s girl, man. You have to know about that. He damn ripped my head off last time I saw this little bitty—”
“Come on, Jer.” Barbie stepped forward and grabbed his arm. “We’re already late.”
“I’m having fun.”
“Let’s go,” she snapped at him. “We’re real sorry, but we have to be going.”
“Oh, come on.” Jeremy was heard protesting as she dragged him out the door, but we heard her snap again, “She’s Ethan’s sister. Leave her alone.”
Anything else Jeremy was going to say was cut short. And then the door swung shut behind them. The table was quiet; I couldn’t get her words out of my head. A longing filled me now. It was so deeply rooted in me that I gasped. I hadn’t known it was there; it didn’t make sense. I thought I was getting better. Then I shot out of my chair. I needed to know about Ethan. I had to know.
“Alex!”
I ignored Eric and shoved through the doors. Barbie had gotten Jeremy in her rusty truck and as she was rounding to her side, she saw me coming. She froze in place. Her eyes widened and fear flashed over her before she tried to hurry to the drivers’ side.
“Wait!” I called out. She didn’t so I sprinted after her. “Wait!” I slapped a hand on her door as she tried to pull it closed.
“Let it go, little girl.” Her eyes held a soft warning in them. “Let us go in peace and we’ll leave you alone.”
“You knew my brother,” I spat out.
Jeremy was laughing so hard, his body was jerking in spasms.
“We did.” Barbie lost her fight, but turned to Jeremy. He quieted his laughs so they were more silent, but he wiped the tears from his eyes. His shoulders kept shaking forward. His laughing continued, but he struggled to keep it under control.
She turned back, disgusted, and slid out of the truck. “Come on, let’s walk.” As she shut the door, she gave him a stern warning. “You stay, Jeremy. I don’t want any bullshit.”
“I won’t. Promise.” His hands lifted again in surrender, but the giggles that escaped him didn’t lend him credibility.
She took a deep breath and then turned towards me. “Come on.”
I followed her at a cautious pace as she went back to the taco place and sat down at a picnic table. There were four more, but all were empty and her truck was far enough away so I knew Jeremy Benson wouldn’t be listening to us. I was relieved at that, but the wariness that came over Barbie had my stomach twisting again.
Would it ever end?
She sighed and hung her head. Her hands fell in her lap and she seemed defeated as she sat across from me. “I’m real sorry about Jeremy. He can be an asshole sometimes, and I think he likes to torment you because it’s his way of sticking it to Jesse. Him and Hunt aren’t real friendly, but they put up with each other. I guess.”
“How do you know Ethan?”
She looked up with tears in her eyes. The sorrow in them had me gasping for breath. It was unexpected and so sincere; I didn’t know what to say. So I didn’t. She started again. Her voice was raw from the memories. “Ethan became friends with us at the end of his senior year. He never said anything, but something was going on with him. We all knew he wasn’t happy. We didn’t know if something was going on at home or with his girl. We thought it was his girl because he took up with me.”
I couldn’t breathe and my chest was starting to hurt, but I was on the edge of understanding something important. She was Ethan’s girl?
“We messed around a few times. Hunt wasn’t real happy. He never said why, but him and Ethan seemed to be fighting a bunch at the end. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they were always tight. Those two were so damn close. I knew it pissed Jeremy off. Jer liked Ethan. He liked him a lot, but Jesse always came around looking for Ethan, and Jer and him just got to become enemies.” She wiped at her eyes, but her head hung down again. Her blonde hair was in clumps as it cascaded around her. I could barely see her anymore.
She continued, but I heard the tremor in her voice. “Anyways, Ethan was hanging out with us all the time. It was nice. He was a gentleman. He never did drugs like the rest of them. The only thing he ever did was drink, but not a lot. He was always cautious about not getting drunk. He was rare, you know.” She sniffled. “There are so many dirt bags out there and he was always real nice to me. He even told me about you once.” Her head lifted and she gave me a soft smile. Her lip quivered. “He loved you lots. I could tell. Him and Jesse would figh
t about you, too.”
“What?” My eyes went wide.
She shrugged. A faraway distant look came over her. “No one knows what they fought about that had to do with you; just that they did. Ethan didn’t like something and Jesse did, that’s all we could tell, but then it didn’t matter. The night he died, he was with us.”
I couldn’t breathe. Oh god.
“He’d been with me that night. He was always so gentle. I felt loved, like one of those types who get their prince in the end. It