“No. It’s not.” I put enough force in my voice to knock down his stubborn wall.
“It shouldn’t have happened at all. I let you down. I’m going to be furious about it for a long damn time.”
How do I get through to him? “What would’ve happened if he’d grabbed me the first time I ran into him? You think Greg or Trent would’ve gone to the lengths you did? They might have been upset but they wouldn’t have searched for me.”
He grunts in a noncommittal way.
“No one would’ve known where I was or who to look for. I would’ve been trapped in that…” my body shudders at the memory, “…cage for God only knows how long. No one would’ve known how to find me. I would’ve been lost. At the mercy of the police deciding if something had happened to me or if I’d skipped off the tour. If your club hadn’t conducted their own search, who knows how long it would’ve taken before anyone found me?”
Oh yes, I’ve thought long and hard about all the possible ways it could have turned out. Rooster’s the only person both relentless and capable enough to pursue me no matter what. “You’re the one who saved me.”
“I’m no savior, Shelby. Believe me.” His haunted voice ties me in knots.
“To me, you are.” I cup his cheek, forcing him to meet my eyes. “My white knight who’s always rescuing me.”
He tilts his head, kissing my inner wrist. “I don’t want to rescue you. I want to love you. I want you safe.”
“I’m safe with you.”
His jaw sets in a stubborn line. He wants to deny it. Blame himself more. But Logan’s an honorable man. He won’t pout and keep harping on it once I’ve said my piece. No, I’m worried he’ll store up his guilt and take it out on himself.
“Please, don’t do this,” I plead. “I love you. I’m so grateful to be here with you right now. You have no idea.”
“Come here.” He pulls me closer, gently wrapping his arms around me, and touches his forehead to mine. “I love you too. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m not gonna flip out and do something stupid because I’m mad at myself.”
Geez, maybe we know each other a little too well.
A hint of a smile ghosts his lips. “Is that what you were thinking?”
“Not exactly. But close.”
His big hand cups my cheek, brushing loose strands of hair that escaped my braids out of his way. “This scared the hell out of me, Shelby. He won’t be the last. The more people who fall in love with your music, who think they’re in love with you, the greater the odds of another psycho thinking you’re destined to be together. I need to learn from this and do better for you. I won’t fuck up again.”
“You didn’t fuck up.” I press my finger to his lips to silence any response. “I hate hearing you say it, but I know you’re right—he won’t be the last. And Lord only knows what kind of kook it’ll be next time.”
“That’s my fear.”
“We’ll learn from this together. I’ll take every letter seriously. I won’t go off on my own without letting someone know. I’ll be more careful about my social media—”
“Stop. This wasn’t your fault.”
“I’m not saying it was. Trust me. Martin Suggs,” I spit out the name. “He’s the only one I hold responsible. But, I’m trying to be practical and honest here. If I want to keep growing my music career—and I do—then I need to take every threat seriously. What can I do to lower my risk without ruining my life?” I turn my head and brush my lips against his wrist. “It’s not all on you.”
“I’m never letting anyone near you again.”
“Good.”
He turns his head and blows out a long breath. “Dawson’s revamping his security team. Calling in some heavy-hitting experts. They do a training class and he offered it to me last night. I told him Jiggy and I would sign up.”
“Wow. Really?” Somehow I don’t picture the two of them in a classroom letting a stranger tell them how to provide protection. Rooster already has a bossy, vigilant protector personality in spades.
His lips twitch as if he senses my surprise. “If it were simple bar fights I was protecting you from, I could handle it fine. But this is so much more. Your career is only going to get bigger and more complicated. Until you can afford to hire professionals—”
I cut him off with a kiss. “I love you so dang much.”
His mouth curves up and his hand absently rubs the top of my scalp. “Dawson’s gonna help me set up a small team for you.”
“Wait, why’s he getting so involved?”
“I think he feels bad about all this.”
“Why? It’s not his fault.”