Micaela
I finish packing the last of my stuff and glance around my room, double-checking to make sure I’m not leaving anything before I turn the light off. In the dark, I take a deep breath, willing myself to smile, to be happy. In a few minutes, we’ll part ways and then I can have a good cry. But right now I need to be strong. I promised him nothing more, and even though I’ve fallen completely in love with him, I won’t put Ryan in that position. It’s not fair to him, to me. He helped me heal, move forward, and when I get home I’m going to do just that. I will focus on my future. I can’t be with him. He’s not the man for me. I just barely moved past the death of my husband. It would be idiotic to even consider being with another man whose job involves risking his life. No, Ryan is not the one for me. He will always hold a special spot in my heart for what he did for me this week, but he’s not my future.
I roll my luggage down the hall and find Ryan in the foyer with his. He grants me a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, and I wonder if he’s already missing me the way I am him. If he is, though, he doesn’t say anything.
We step outside and he locks the door. I want to push it back open, beg him to give us a few more days. I’m not ready to go home yet, ready to leave him.
But I don’t. I plaster on a fake smile and wrap my arms around him for a hug, breathing him in, trying to memorize everything about him before we part ways.
“Thank you for everything,” I choke out.
Ryan holds me tight against him, and I sink into his touch. “Thank you,” he murmurs into my ear. “You got this, Micaela. Promise you’ll invite me to your college graduation.” He laughs, and I join in.
“I will,” I vow.
Reluctantly, we separate. He looks at me like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. He bends slightly and kisses the corner of my mouth. “You’re going to do amazing things.”
“While you’re off saving the world,” I half-joke.
“Something like that.”
I reach up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek, needing to touch him one last time. “I will never forget this week,” I tell him.
“You and me both.”
Four hours later, I get home and my family is waiting for me. My mom pulls me into a hug and tells me I look great. My dad says he’s missed me and is glad I’m home. My brother and sister both hug me and tell me they’ve missed me.
The following days I keep myself busy. I do exactly what I said I was going to do. I enroll in ULV for the fall semester. I only have one semester left, so I also apply to San Diego for spring semester. I submit my application for the internship at Scripps. I also get my job back at the rec center. It’ll not only keep me busy until I start school in August, but will help me put money away for when I make the move to San Diego.
I don’t see Ryan again, but my dad mentions he left. Two months in Texas at Fort Bliss for training and then he’ll be in Afghanistan for the next year. I send a prayer to God to keep him safe, and then I visit Ian’s grave, and for the first time since he died, I talk to him without crying. I read him my letter, and when I’m done, I rip it into pieces and let it go into the wind.
The days turn into weeks. I stay busy with work, my friends, my family. I think about Ryan often, but I don’t allow myself to go there. I can’t. I’m finally back to my old self. My heart is finally healing. My future is mapped out. And then one day my phone rings with a number I don’t recognize, shocking the hell out of me.
Ryan
“Hello.” Her voice is so sweet over the phone. I want to record it and listen to it over and over again. It’s been two months since I’ve seen her, heard her, touched her, and I miss her so goddamn much.
“Hey,” I say dumbly.
“Ryan,” she says back, curiosity and maybe hope in her tone.
“I got your number from the receptionist at the Fight Club.” I take a deep breath. “I’m in Texas…”
“Fort Bliss.” She knows where I am. Does that mean she asked about me? Does she miss me the same way I miss her?
“Yeah. We have a weekend before we leave, and I was wondering…” I clear my throat. “I thought maybe I could get you a ticket and fly you down here for a few days.”