“Mom, are you crying?”
“Oh, sweet girl, I’m just… You sound happy, and well, that makes me happy. This last year, seeing you hurting. I hated not being able to help you.”
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. You lost your husband and you were mourning. And even though you’re happy today, there will probably be more bad days. Days when you miss him and feel the pain. But I’m glad today was a good day.”
“It was.” And it was all because of Ryan. Because he forced me to take a step forward. He distracted me with fishing and swimming and the museum and dinner. It was the first day I didn’t focus on Ian and the pain I feel from his death. Instead I focused on myself, on taking one step forward. And it felt good. Ryan was right. Ian wouldn’t want me mourning him for the rest of my life. He would want me to live.
Mom and I talk for a few more minutes about my day, and I make it a point to leave Ryan out of the conversation. Dad mustn’t have told her he gave Ryan a key, or she would’ve mentioned it the moment I told her I was here. With the promise to call her soon, we say good night.
I throw on a pair of leggings and a Cooper’s Fight Club hoodie, then head out to find Ryan. He’s lying out on a lounge chair on the back patio, staring out at the ocean. I grab a Gatorade and a beer from the fridge and join him.
“Didn’t we talk about this?” he asks, when he spots the bottle in my hand.
“It’s for you.” I hand him the beer and sit next to him. “I thought you could use one.” I show him the Gatorade in my other hand. “This is for me.”
He grins and his two sexy dimples make an appearance. “That a girl.” He pops the top and raises the beer to his mouth. His head goes back slightly, exposing his neck as he swallows a mouthful of the liquid.
“You did good today,” he says, setting the bottle between his muscular thighs, which are stretched out in front of him.
“Because of you.”
“No, because of you. I just steered you in the right direction.” He turns his face toward me, granting me the most gorgeous smile, and a knot forms in my belly. This shouldn’t be happening. I’m nowhere near close to being over Ian, but for some reason my body and heart aren’t communicating with each other.
I push the feelings aside, refusing to acknowledge them. I need to focus on me, on healing, on moving forward, creating a new plan and life for myself.
Ryan is here to relax before he leaves to go overseas. Why he’s here with me, I don’t know. I know he’s got money. He doesn’t act like it, but Bentley and Kayla are loaded and their kids all have trusts in their names. The moment he saw I was here, he could’ve just rented a hotel room. Is he that good of a guy he would stay here just to help me get through my shit?
His phone rings, momentarily pausing my thoughts. He holds it up and it says Laura—his ex-wife.
“Hey, Laura. Everything okay?” I would expect him to walk away to have some privacy, but he doesn’t move. He nods slightly, listening to whatever it is she’s saying, and a small smile creeps up on his lips. “Congratulations.” He takes a swig of his beer then sets it back down. “That’s great, Laura. I’m happy for you.”
I try to find a hint of insincerity in his voice, but can’t find any. “I love you, too,” he says. “Talk to you soon.”
He hangs up, and I wait for him to speak, unsure of what happened just now. Did he actually tell his ex-wife he loves her?
“Laura is pregnant,” he finally says. “A surprise, but a pleasant one. She and her fiancé are going to move the wedding up so they’re married before the baby comes.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Of course.”
“And this is Laura… your ex-wife?”
“Yes,” he confirms, taking another drink of his beer.
“Why did you two divorce?”
Ryan
“Why did you two divorce?”
I think for a moment how to answer that question. When I told my parents we were getting a divorce and that I was giving her the house, they didn’t question me. I think deep down they knew this day would eventually come. It was the reason my dad insisted on a prenup.
“I married my best friend,” I tell her honestly, which has her looking at me like I’m crazy. “But unlike most people who say that but really mean they married the love of their life, she really was just my friend. She had needs I couldn’t meet.” She wanted a life I couldn’t envision ever having.