My hand fell to his chest and I felt his heartbeat. It was strong and fast. He shuddered at my question, looking both pained and nervous. A crimson heat started from my chest, to my neck, and covered my face. I was lost in the moment and asked the question thoughtlessly. But now…I was scared of his answer.
I knew even if he didn’t think himself worthy, Viktor would still be the man I would choose to give my heart to.
“No. I am not a worthy man for you. I am selfish,” he said. My brows drew together at the way he said his words, as if there were a different meaning behind them. “A selfish man who takes what is not his, and he feels no shame.”
The tip of his finger brushed against the curve of my lower lips. He brought his face closer. “Can I kiss you, Valerie?”
A soft question, an underlying demand, five words that came from his soul and mended mine.
“Yes,” I whispered.
My breathing refused to calm itself. My heart ran wild, and I sank into him, my Viktor. I trembled when he placed his lips on mine, overwhelmed with so many emotions that I could only close my eyes and feel his lips, his kiss.
I tasted him. Sweet and mine. Dangerous and mine. Desperate and mine. Wild and mine. Gentle and mine. He tasted of devotion, and I returned my adoration for him.
Viktor Ivanshov made me feel cherished, me—Valerie Solonik. Me, his enemy’s wife. Me, a used woman, a vessel for my husband. Viktor cherished what my husband didn’t. Me.
The sweet spot between my legs pulsed, and I moved around in his embrace until I was straddling his lap. Viktor groaned from deep within his chest. I felt the vibration through my bones, and I soaked it up.
Suddenly, it ended.
He violently pulled away from my grasp. My lips felt empty as he took his kiss away and my eyes snapped open. His were wide, shocked, and…was that fear?
His head turned toward the door, and my lungs squeezed. Our heartbeats pulled away from each other and we were left cold. My stomach rolled, twisted, and it hurt. I whimpered as I followed where his attention now lay.
My gaze focused on the door and I saw the knob turning.
No.
Chapter 4
Viktor
A sense of fear paralyzed me and panic clawed at me. I went from feeling warmth to cold, my stomach sinking deep into my guts.
Valerie’s fingers clenched at my shoulders. She tried to anchor herself to me. Her body moved closer, as if she wanted to hide in me, my body her sanctuary from whoever was behind that door.
But I couldn’t hide her.
Not now. Not like this.
Our eyes met, and her lips wobbled. She understood my silence. Her hands slipped from my shoulders and she let go.
As much as I wanted to steal my beautiful Valerie away, I had to play the cards right. I still had a game to master. And I couldn’t put her into the path of danger.
I forced my arms from around her too; I forced myself to let her go. For now.
She stepped out of my embrace, and I did a quick run toward the large windows. The curtains were heavy and dark enough to hide me. Slipping behind the curtains, I waited. My blood roared, my heart pumped and accelerated.
My fingers twitched. I wasn’t a man who feared others. Never. It wasn’t in my vocabulary. On the contrary, I was always the one to be feared. People cowered for me. My shadows made them tremble, knowing their impending death was waiting. I was the bastard sending them to the door of hell.
For the first time, I felt fear. Real terror.
I heard voices and my body tensed, waiting as I listened to the one-sided conversation. My fists clenched and my fingers dug into my palm. The slight sting of pain kept me grounded as I pushed the edge of insanity away.
When I finally recognized the voice, I felt my muscles unlocking and relaxing.
“I have brought your breakfast,” Sarah said. She was the new maid I had acquired a few weeks ago after Igor’s death. She was an ally, Yegor’s mother, and someone I knew would take care of Valerie if I couldn’t.
But for now, even she couldn’t know the truth of my relationship with Valerie. Nobody could. This bloody life taught me that a secret was no longer a secret if more than one person knew it. “How are you doing today?” Sarah asked. There was only silence from Valerie. Being the real bastard I was, I smiled at the realization. Only I had her voice. It belonged to me, as much as it belonged to my myshka.
The seconds dragged, and when Valerie continued to stay silent, Sarah sighed and I heard her feet shuffling away. The door closed and I released a long exhale. I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath in.