When my long blonde hair hung loosely behind my back, I pulled the white nightgown over my body. Now that I had felt a small taste of freedom, the high collar felt almost suffocating, the long sleeves itching.
A strange emotion filled my heart, and I quickly shook my head. Don’t think like that, Valerie.
Giving my reflection a final glance, I took a step back. But instead of walking away, I paused.
Would he visit me again tonight?
Since the morning, I had tried not to think about it. It was almost as if I were craving his presence. He gave me something…and now I was left wanting more.
I looked at myself again, the mirror showing just a simple plain woman lost in her thoughts. It left me wondering how Viktor saw me?
Was I beautiful to him?
Just as the thought crossed my mind, my gaze went to the bathroom vanity. I walked closer and opened the drawers to find my makeup safely placed there.
I wasn’t allowed to use them…except when ordered by Valentin.
When he would come to have his fun, he would ask me to doll myself up for him.
Don’t disappoint me, Valeria. I want you ready for me, just like I asked. Be the nice little slut you are and wait for me on the bed.
I hated when he would order me to prepare myself. Lacy lingerie would be brought in. Pretty high heels. Makeup.
I was to make myself sexy, not as his wife, but as a whore. A courtesan for his pleasure.
My gaze drifted toward the makeup again. It was always used to humiliate me. But maybe, just maybe…I could use them differently.
I want to look beautiful for him.
My fingers feathered over the items, my hands shaking with nervousness. Before I could change my mind, I took the eyeliner in my hand.
Another rule broken.
Staring into the mirror, I applied the eyeliner. Just a little bit that made my brown eyes look bigger. The green speckles in my eyes appeared brighter.
Instead of wearing more makeup, I just applied some pink lip gloss, giving my lips a glossy look with a prettier shade.
When I was done, I closed the drawer quickly and with a bang, as if hiding a secret. My cheeks felt heated with embarrassment.
What am I doing?
You are a fool, Valerie.
I silently laughed at myself, shrugging away the idea that I was playing with fire.
Giving myself a final glance, I liked that it wasn’t much. Maybe even Igor wouldn’t notice. The corners of my mouth lifted up in a small smile, and I pressed a finger to my lips.
It will be our secret.
The smile was still present on my face when I walked out of the bathroom. But it slipped away when I saw Igor standing in the middle of the room.
His legs were spread in a defensive posture, his hands behind his back. He stared at me silently, his lips set in a straight line.
“Your dinner is here,” he said, nodding toward the nightstand.
I nodded silently, now wringing my hands nervously in front of me. When he didn’t say anything else, I shifted my gaze away.
I walked toward my bed and settled down before bringing the food tray on my lap. The smell of pasta and garlic cheese bread made my mouth water.
I didn’t pay attention to Igor as I dug into my food. Eating slowly, trying to make the time go by faster. My eyes went to the clock and then down again at my half-empty plate.
Eight-thirty p.m. Late but still early.
The first time Viktor had visited me, it was in the morning. Yesterday, he had visited me at night, but still earlier than now.
Maybe he isn’t coming. Maybe I was being too hopeful.
I stared at my half-eaten food, my appetite long gone. When a pair of feet approached me, I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at Igor.
He shook his head before speaking. “You are playing a dangerous game, Valerie.”
I know that! I wanted to scream and cry. Cry because it was unfair. I was trapped here, and after so long, I finally felt something, but I couldn’t have it.
I placed the tray on the nightstand again before looking at his lips, watching his words.
“Do you realize how bad this could get?” Igor continued. “Little girl, I am giving you the only warning I can. Whatever you’re thinking about, don’t. Whatever you are feeling, push it away. You will only get in trouble this way.”
His words penetrated my mind, leaving tiny little wounds at the reminder. He was right. Whatever this was…there would be no happy ending.
I wanted something I couldn’t have.
That alone could ruin everything.
When I didn’t answer, Igor’s shoulders dropped. It appeared as if he were sighing. His eyebrows furrowed sadly, a look I had never seen on his face before. He was always so…emotionless.