My eyes went wide, and I quickly pulled away from Phoenix. He didn’t let go of my head.
I turned my head to see Artur staring at us. His eyes showed what he felt. He looked at me as if I betrayed him.
My heart ached at the thought of hurting Artur. Looking back at Phoenix, our gazes met. He begged me with his eyes.
But I couldn’t give him what he wanted.
I glanced down at our intertwined hands and slowly pulled away. He grasped me more firmly, but I twisted my hand until I was free. Without looking at him, I stepped back and turned toward Artur.
I walked straight into Artur’s arm and buried my face into his chest. Taking a deep breath, I inhaled his familiar scent. This was what I needed.
He swept me up in his arms and carried me to his room. As soon as the door closed behind us, he had me against the wall, his lips on mine.
Artur kissed me furiously as he pushed us toward the bed. I fell down on the soft mattress as he settled on top of me. Before I could think, he had me out of my nightdress until I laid bare underneath him.
His kiss was bruising, his hands hard against my skin. His touch wasn’t searching. He didn’t touch me to bring me pleasure.
Artur seemed almost lost in his mind.
“Artur?” I questioned.
He didn’t answer. Instead, he continued to trail kisses down my neck. I should have felt good, but this time, I just felt cold. Almost disconnected.
“Artur? What are you doing?”
When he ignored me, my panic grew, and I pushed against his shoulders. “Artur, stop.”
He didn’t. He kept kissing down my stomach until his face was between my legs. The Artur touching my body wasn’t him.
My nails dug into his shoulder as I pushed him hard. “Artur, stop!” I called out louder.
His head snapped up, his eyes laced with a mixture of lust and anger. He looked confused for a second and then cocked his head to the side, giving me a heated look.
“You’re scaring me. What’s wrong with you?” I said, pulling away from him. I grabbed the comforter and pulled it to cover my body.
His expression changed to a remorseful one, his eyes flashing with regret. Artur raked his fingers through his hair almost angrily, although this time he appeared angry at himself.
“Talk to me,” I begged, looking at the man I loved struggle with something inside his head.
He flopped down on the bed beside me, staring at the ceiling. Rubbing a hand over his face, a small growl vibrated through his chest.
“Fuck! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Maddie. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It drives me fucking crazy when I see him touching you,” he replied through clenched teeth. “His hands were on you, and I wanted to slice them off his body.”
The image made me go cold. “Artur,” I snapped.
He turned to face me. We stared at each other in silence before he finally brought his hand up. He palmed my cheek gently, a soft look in his eyes.
“I hate that he had you first,” he whispered.
I flinched at the reminder and pulled away from him. “You promised that you would never bring this up. It’s in the past. Leave it there, Artur. You have me now. I chose you.”
“I know,” he murmured.
“Then stop thinking so hard. Please, Artur. Don’t let Phoenix get between us. I left him in the past, and you need to do the same thing,” I begged.
Even as I said the words, my mind screamed lies. Did I really leave Phoenix in the past? Was I really over him?
I loved Artur. I chose him.
But when I thought Phoenix was hurt tonight, it felt like my heart was going to split into two. How was it possible to still feel that way after so many years?
“I’m sorry, Maddie.”
I stared down at Artur and felt my heart expand just a little bit more. This man has stood beside me when I needed him the most—when Phoenix wasn’t there for me.
Artur was there for me when Phoenix left me broken.
Leaning forward, I kissed Artur slowly. He groaned into my lips and returned the kiss with the same fervor. When I pulled away, a small smile played across my lips. My heart didn’t feel as heavy anymore.
Moving my fingers through his hair, I smiled down at him. “I need the bathroom. Be right back,” I mumbled before jumping off the bed.
I closed the door behind me and went to the sink. Staring at my reflection, I quickly combed my hair. And then washed my face.
I wrapped the white robe around me and took a deep breath.
I pushed hard…harder than before. I pushed Phoenix out of my head and heart. I refused to think of him. Of us.