Turning around, I faced Alessio and ran into his arms, hugging him as tightly as I could. I covered his face with kisses before pulling away and laughed happily.
“Thank you for this. I love—” you. My lips snapped shut before I could utter the last word. The words were always on my lips, begging to be released.
But I still couldn’t bring myself to tell Alessio how I truly felt. Something in my heart was stopping me. Every time I wanted to tell him, my chest would feel tight and my heart would ache. So those three words stayed unsaid.
Swallowing nervously as Alessio stared at me, almost in anticipation, I mustered up the best smile I could.
“I love it,” I said instead.
He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into his body again. We stared into each other’s eyes when he spoke. “I know, Angel. I know. I love it too.”
There it was. His affirmation. We didn’t need the words between us. It was there without it even being said. From our actions and through our eyes. I knew how he felt, and he knew where my heart belonged. That was enough for us.
He didn’t smile, but his soft eyes said it all. Oh, how I loved him. He was everything I needed and wanted. He was perfect…for me.
But I wasn’t…for him.
At the thought, my chest grew tight.
I couldn’t lie anymore.
This had gone on for too long, and I couldn’t betray him anymore. Every single day, I had to live with the knowledge that I was betraying the man I love. Not only him, but my newfound family.
Every single night, I prayed that I could find the courage to tell him, while every single day, I tortured myself with the knowledge that I was weak and a traitor. To him and his heart. I was a traitor to us. To our love.
I hurt…my heart and my soul. I felt empty. I was hollow inside.
I had to tell him the truth.
Even if it meant my death. I was ready to take any punishment Alessio had to give me. I would bear his wrath and let him take his revenge, but I was not going to lie any longer.
I saw Alessio frowning and I knew why. I had lost my smile. I palmed his cheek and said softly, “Can we go back to the beach house?”
I couldn’t tell him here. Not in the place filled with serenity. I wasn’t going to taint it with our harsh reality.
“I have to tell you something.”
Alessio’s face grew worried. “Ayla, what’s wrong?”
“Please, Alessio,” I murmured. I could even hear the defeat in my words. My bottom lip quivered as I tried to keep my tears at bay, and my stomach tightened in knots.
“It’s something important. But I don’t want to say it here,” I finally managed to get out through my labored breathing.
Don’t have a panic attack. Not now, Ayla. You have to do this.
Alessio’s gaze moved over my face, and as he saw the distress there, his body went tight in panic and fear flashed in his eyes, but it was quickly gone.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. “Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay,” he whispered shakily.
I slightly stepped out of his embrace so I could see his face. My fingers traced his lips and nose until they laid softly on his cheeks. “My feelings for you are real, Alessio. Whatever is between us is real. Please don’t forget that.”
Alessio swallowed hard, his arms clenching around me. He looked confused, worried, but he still nodded.
Pressing against his body, I brushed my lips against his. “You are my everything, Alessio. The reason why I’m still alive. The reason why I smile every day.”
“Ayla, why…” he started to ask but I cut him off with a bruising kiss. He growled and returned my kiss just as fiercely, possessively taking over.
“When I tell you my truth, please remember those words,” I whispered.
Alessio didn’t say anything, but he kissed me again. He kissed me until we were both gasping for breath. And I kissed him in return, as if it was my last kiss. Maybe it was. And I wanted to remember this.
We walked back to the car hand in hand, and the ride was wrapped with silence. No one said a word. My head was laid on Alessio’s shoulder as he played with my hair. The silence between us was always filled with peace. We loved the silence, and maybe this was the last time I would get to experience this.
My eyes filled with tears, and I quickly blinked them away.
I can’t—shouldn’t cry.
After all, for once I was about to do the right thing. Something I should have done way before, but now I was ready. After getting the little piece of happiness and being loved wholeheartedly by Alessio, I was ready to face whatever I had to.