“Why didn’t you tell me?” I didn’t know if I was just angry or too overwhelmed to feel anything else.
“I was going to tell you… but then,” Maddox broke off, shaking his head. He shoved his hands into his pockets.
The muscles in his jaw tightened. The barrier fell away from his eyes, and Maddox showed me what he was hiding. The pain. The chaos in his heart. Everything.
“You didn’t leave me once, Lila. You walked away from me three times.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but then I saw the mask of fury on his face, and I wisely shut up and let him continue. “Once, when you found out about Christian. You never gave me a chance to explain. You needed me, but you pushed me away. You robbed me of the chance to be your knight. To take care of you, while you were hurting. The second time you walked away, you wrenched my heart out of my chest and took it with you. And the third time?”
He paused, giving me a pained smile. “The third time was the worst. My father was dying, and I needed you. But you walked away, without a second glance.”
I finally understood… why.
My heart dipped to my empty stomach, where there used to be butterflies, leaving my chest hollow… and aching.
My scars itched, a phantom echo of the real pain. My scars burned fiercely, a reminder that Maddox used to soothe the hurt away… but not anymore.
I clenched my chest over my winter coat, the tears burning my eyes. “You were angry at me. For leaving. This was you punishing me. This prolonged separation was my punishment for leaving you.”
“For breaking your promises,” he rasped darkly.
The sky opened up, and the rain came down on us, drenching us. Maddox barely flinched, as the storm raged on us.
I was so cold, frozen down to my bones… but I couldn’t find myself to care. I drowned in his blue eyes and prayed he’d save me.
“I’m still falling for you, Maddox,” I whispered. Falling. Drowning. The rain washed my tears away.
“Liar,” he growled, his brows furrowing. His expression was stormy. Pained. Thunderous.
My lips twitched with a bittersweet smile. “What else do you want me to do? I tried. Maddox. I’m trying…”
For you. For us.
My hand went to my neck, to grab onto my necklace, like I always did. My anchor. My fingers brushed against my bare throat, and my breath hitched at the bitter reminder.
No dreamcatcher.
His eyes darkened, almost furiously. His jaw tightened, and I could hear his molars grinding. “Nothing,” he said. “Just like you did nothing when I begged you to stay. The gates are behind you, Lila. You can leave now. You’re not needed anymore.”
I said I’d fight for Maddox, but I couldn’t fight for him, if I were bedridden with pneumonia. So, against my own accord, and because I knew I wouldn’t win a fight in the rain, I drove home, after Maddox slammed the door in my face. Again.
I spent thirty minutes in the tub, as I tried to warm up my body. Then, I spent another two hours in front of the fireplace, and after four cups of hot cocoa, I was finally warm again.
My gran mumbled under her breath, as she packed blankets around me, but she didn’t ask any questions. Maybe it was the look in my eyes, but I truly didn’t have the energy to give her an explanation tonight.
Hours later and late at night… I was finally in bed, thinking of my next step. Was I pissed that Maddox played me? Yes. I was rightfully angry, frustrated and… hurt. The Maddox I knew would never purposefully be so… vindictive.
But then I realized, it was because of me.
I made him snap. I turned him into this furious, ugly beast.
Walking away from him… breaking my promises… turning my back on him when he needed me the most, I tainted our friendship.
I just wanted us to go back to the old Maddox and Lila. Team MALA – invincible and untouchable. Without all the misunderstandings, hurt and miscommunications.
My mission to go back to being Team MALA would start tomorrow. How long could Maddox stay angry at me? Another week? Another month…?
We’ll see…
Because I was fighting for him, this time.
I was just drifting off to sleep, when I heard it. The scratching sound outside my window. A thump. A louder sound. More scratching.
Was someone trying to break in? Shit! I frantically looked around my room, searching for some kind of weapon. Where the hell was my baseball bat?
A knock on my window made me pause.
I clenched the bedsheet closer to my body and eyed the window.
More scratches. Another knock, louder this time. More desperation in it.
And then…
His voice.
“Lila.”
Oh my God!
“Lila,” he called out louder.
I scrambled off the bed and rushed to my window, practically ripping away the curtains in my haste. There he was. Maddox.