The answer was… it can’t.
I flinched, as the silence suddenly filled with Riley’s ringtone. She padded away to it and then grimaced. “It’s Maddox.”
I turned and walked away. Back into my room. My sanctuary.
Curling into my bed and sinking into my soft mattress, I tucked my blankets around me. A safe cocoon. Not safer than Maddox’s arm… but at least, my bed wasn’t the reason for my suffering.
My eyes closed, and I had to remind myself to breathe.
The sound of crushing glass filled my ears. The echo so loud, it was deafening. My world tilted, swayed and turned over. My head slammed into something, and I remembered feeling like it would explode.
The distinct sound of cracking bones came next.
Then my screams. My parents’.
Pain came next.
Darkness soon followed.
The buzzing sound in my ears didn’t stop, and my lips parted to speak, but I couldn’t. My voice was gone. I tried to scream, but I couldn’t.
The taste of coppery blood pooled in my mouth; it tasted bitter, and I could feel it soaking my tongue and the inside of my mouth. Blood…
I remembered…
The blood. So much blood. I remembered the feeling of death.
I remembered passing out and waking up again, in the same position, with the same agony coursing through my body.
I sucked in cramped air and tried to scream, tried to breathe, but my lungs refused to work.
“Lila? Lila!” Someone was calling out my name and shaking me awake.
My eyes popped open, and I let out a gasp, feeling the oxygen burn my lungs, as I took in a deep breath. The nightmares faded away, but the echoes of my screams still lingered.
Riley came into my line of vision, and she looked worried, her brow creased with tension, and her lips were pressed into a thin line.
“What is it?” I sat up, keeping my blankets around my shoulders.
“It’s Maddox.”
I frowned and hissed, grinding my molars. My jaw tightened. “I don’t care.”
Riley shook her head. “The stairs are blocked. Out of service. Maintenance is working on them right now.”
My heart dropped. No, please. Oh God, no.
“Maddox needs to take the elevator,” Riley said softly.
I remembered the time when Maddox and I were locked in the closet, back when we went to Berkshire Academy.
That was the first time I witnessed his mask fall apart. The first time I saw that Maddox had many layers, many cracks in his soul. He was a king with a crooked crown.
I shouldn’t have cared… I really shouldn’t have…
But I was out of bed before I thought it through. I ran out of my apartment before I could stop myself. My brain argued with me, telling me that he didn’t deserve my help.
My heart screamed and called out to Maddox. I belatedly realized the repercussions of my actions… what it meant for me to run to him when he was in such a vulnerable state. I realized the fallout could be worse than the original pain I went through, when I realized Maddox’s betrayal.
If I went to him now… if I let myself feel for him now…
But it was too late. I was already in the elevator before I could overthink.
He needed me.
He needed me.
He needed me.
It happened in slow motion. I took the elevator down to the lobby and found him there. Pacing the length of it. His body was tensed and locked tight. His fingers tugging on his hair, like a mad man. He let out a small sound in the back of his throat, an angry growl, as he began to hit the side of his skull. “Fuck, fuck… FUCK!”
He crumbled before me.
“Maddox,” I said his name, before I realized what I was doing.
His head snapped up, and he stared at me, blue eyes so raw, so deep… deep as the ocean that I could easily drown in them and I… did. Drowned and sunk to the bottom.
His face contorted in pain. I wasn’t wearing any life jacket when he caught me in his powerful, violent tides and pulled me below the surface, dragging me into the deep end.
“Lila,” Maddox said hoarsely. He looked at me, as if I was his saving grace, his lifeline.
His chest rattled with ragged breaths, and I could see the panic setting in. “The elevator,” he croaked.
The look he gave me, it eviscerated my heart. Destroyed my already broken heart, further fracturing it into little pieces that could not be glued together again.
I walked to him, stepping a hairsbreadth away from his shaking form. “The…elevator… I can’t… Lila.” His deep, broken timbre vibrated through my bones and slid down my spine. I trembled, feeling his pain as if it were my own.
“Do you trust me?” I asked, grasping his hand in mine.
Maddox laced our fingers together, holding on tightly. So tight I almost lost the feeling in my hand.
Moving onto my tiptoes, I brought our faces closer. “Do you trust me?”