I took out the pins holding my hair up and in place. “Because they need an heir and my womb is on lease?”
Selene threw her hands up, letting out an aggravated sigh. “Why are you so cynical, Jules?”
“Not cynical. My fantasy had long turned bitter and now, I choose to live in reality,” I said, my voice detached from any human emotions. “I know why my father and William have arranged this marriage. I know what Killian needs and I’m fully aware of what my job description is as Killian’s wife. They need an heir and I’m just a breeding machine.”
Selene stepped in front of me and helped me to my feet. My legs wobbled but we successfully rid me of my heavy gown until I was standing in a white chemise and panties.
“Holy shit. I feel so light,” I groaned, massaging the stiff muscles of my neck and shoulders.
She stared at my uncovered face for less than a second before her gaze shifted, but the unmistakeable pity in her eyes had my stomach hollowing with sorrow. My eyes landed on the mirror behind her head and I stared at my reflection.
The first thing I used to notice whenever I looked in the mirror were my eyes. But now, all I saw were the jagged lines across the left side of my face. The scar tissue had healed, but not before leaving the lasting effect of the burns and the glass shards that had cut through my face so cruelly. The skin felt stretched tight along the messed-up tissue – my mangled flesh, lumpy and taut, pink and daunting – ugly.
I touched my cheek, feeling the bumpy scars under my fingertips. The map of scars on the left side of my face told a story, a haunting one. My fingers brushed against the faded silvery ribbons on my forehead, my slit eyebrow and through the uneven dents and lines etched in my cheek, where once it was soft skin.
It looked like someone had taken a sharp knife to my face, cutting through my tender flesh, as if it was slicing apples.
Beautiful, they’d say.
Beasty, they now whispered.
Gracelynn would say that we got our beauty from our mother, for her looks had been praised by many. But now, the word beauty was just an ugly reminder of my tarnished past and my broken future.
The idea of Killian lifting my veil at the altar had almost paralyzed me, but I knew he wouldn’t. Killian Spencer was more than just cruel. For he was still loyal to his old love.
And even if he had tried to lift my veil – I wouldn’t have allowed him. Consequences be damned.
“I think I’ll take a warm ba–”
The door crashed open, causing both of us to flinch, and I scrambled for my smaller veil, the one I always wore.
“Oh, Killian,” Selene gasped.
My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. I let out a frantic yelp while trying to pin my veil in place. My skin crawled and the sick feeling was back again. Like I had been catapulted into the air multiple times and I had the need to throw up now.
“Get out,” Killian said, his voice low and threatening.
“Well, I–” Selene looked between Killian and me, and when I took a shuddering breath and nodded, she gave me a tentative smile before walking away.
The door closed behind my back, leaving me alone alone in the room with Killian.
“Why are you here?” I clipped, my whole body shaking.
“Our fathers expect us to consummate this marriage,” Killian spat, his words violent and harsh to my ears. I heard him shift around in the room, felt him move closer to me. I kept my back to him when realization finally dawned on me that I was only in a thin white chemise and panties.
“Consummate this marriage?” I let out a humorless laugh. “You couldn’t even bear to kiss me at the altar.”
He was considerably closer now, his warmth spreading across my back. He was so close I felt his breath fanning at the back of my neck and the fabric of his pants brushing against my bare legs. My skin peppered with goose flesh and I trembled at the nearness of him. He crowded into me, pushing me against the vanity.
Killian made me feel small and vulnerable. But he was no merciful man.
“Turn around,” Killian ordered.
“I don’t take orders from you,” I breathed.
My heart stammered when his fingers grazed my elbow. “Maybe you should just shut up and do as you’re told, wife.”
I spun around, locking eyes with Killian. My hands landed on his chest and I pushed, putting some distance between us. “Two years haven’t changed the fact that you’re still as much of an asshole as the last time I saw you.”
Killian grasped my elbow and tugged me closer. My legs were unstable, so I wobbled on my feet before crashing into his arms. He lowered his head so we were eye level. “Two years haven’t changed the fact that you killed your sister,” he hissed into my face.