"Yeah. Maybe." He slides a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my recovery. At first, I didn't think this would be serious enough it would matter. By the time I realized how much you hurt, how much you've been through, I wasn't afraid I'd lose you if I told you."
I hug myself a little ti
ghter. "Okay."
"It's not a good excuse. I was wrong. And I really am sorry."
"Thank you." I stare into Miles's eyes, at all the pain I can't take away. I want to forgive him, I do. But my heart isn't there yet.
"I like you, Meg. I really do. And I'm pretty sure you like me, too."
"I do, but—"
"No but." He takes my hands and pulls my body into his. "That's all we need to know."
He's warm, and it feels damn good being pressed against him. But that tension is still in my chest.
I take a step backwards. "I'm sorry. I understand why you lied, but I'm not sure I'm ready to trust you yet. I want to. But it's not there right now. I don't feel it."
"Could you?"
"I don't know. But Miles, I want to be with someone who loves me, who wants to share his feelings with me because he loves me and trusts me, and not because it's the only way he can win me over."
He considers my words like they're poetry. "I can do that."
"Maybe. But it doesn't feel like it to me." I pull the jacket tight around my chest. The neighboring street is wide and clean and completely empty. "Can you take me home?"
"Yeah." He presses his palm into the small of my back. "I really am sorry."
"Me too."
In more ways than one.
* * *
Miles still has my suitcase in his trunk. He brings it all the way to my apartment door.
"I'd like to come in," he says.
I shake my head. "I'm not up for that… any of that right now." I fiddle with my key. "Finals start Monday. I've got to turn everything off so I can study."
He nods. "When are you done?"
"The twelfth."
"I'll see you on the twelfth."
He slides his hands around my waist, pulls my body into his, and kisses me. Heat floods my body. It's sweet and hot and delicate all at once.
I slide his leather jacket off my arms and try to hand it over.
He waves it away. "I want you to keep it."
I nod.
"Bye, Meg."
"Bye."