"Something came over me, an itch, and the song was the only way to scratch it."
I take a deep breath. "That isn't an answer."
"Yes, it is." He turns to me for a moment then his eyes are back on the road. "It's just not the answer you want."
I want him to look at me and tell me his feelings, to explain what it means—the itch he can't scratch.
The song sounds like it's about falling in love.
Is he falling in love with me?
The radio station goes to commercial. It's for some fast-food restaurant, some supposedly cheap and delicious breakfast item. The hum of the road, the wind leaking through the not-quite-airtight windows, fills the car.
Miles is supposed to be my secret weapon in getting through this awful weekend. If he's going to be defensive and make up bullshit about why he wrote a song about me… I can't deal with that.
I guess it's up to me to turn the mood.
"Is this your car?" I ask.
"Yeah."
"Then why do you always ride the death bike?"
"I like having something powerful between my legs."
"Besides your cock?"
He chuckles. "You're not supposed to spell out the joke."
"Yeah, but I like thinking about your cock." I take a deep breath. It doesn't help sooth me. What is he doing writing songs about falling in love with me then insisting I'm ruining our relationship by making it serious?
I tap my fingers against the windowsill. It's frustrating, the way he's so unclear about his intentions.
"I can't explain it. If I could, I wouldn't have to write the song." His voice gets low. "I felt something. I wrote the song. The end."
"Thanks. You really cleared things up."
"You're cranky today."
"Fuck off."
"Let's stop for breakfast."
"I'm not hungry."
I close my eyes and pretend to nap. Despite my insistence Miles takes the next exit.
He parks at a Starbucks. "Come on. I'll buy you coffee, green tea, whatever your heart desires."
My stomach rumbles. I am hungry. But that isn't why I'm cranky.
He must realize that I'm cranky over his non-answer. He felt an itch, the song scratched it. What a load of bullshit.
I follow Miles into the coffee shop. He slides his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. It's like we're a normal couple. Like we're actually happy we're seeing my family for the holiday.
The girl behind the counter recognizes Miles instantly. Her eyes light up. Her tongue slides over her lips. "Welcome!"
Miles smirks. "You want to grab a seat?"