"Kay—"
"Don't say my name like that!" My voice rises. It's too loud for the airport. People are staring. Even a security guard. I swallow hard. I force myself to be quiet. "How am I a girl you should love?"
"You're smart, strong—"
"I think about hurting myself."
"That's different."
"How?"
"It just is." He plants one hand on my shoulder. Stares back into my eyes.
His stupid gesture is calming.
I hate that it's calming.
How can he calm me when he's ripping my heart out?
I stare back at him, daring him to explain, daring him to see what an idiot he's being.
He doesn't.
"It isn't different." I try to whisper, but my voice is still too loud. "If you're no good then neither am I. My brain is broken. I think about hurting myself. I might one day."
"You won't."
"You don't know that."
"I know enough."
I shake my head. "Why should anyone love a girl who might swallow a bottle of sleeping pills?"
He stares back at me.
"Is that it? You don't want to be with someone like me?"
"No."
"You could at least have the courtesy to be honest when you break my heart." I take a step backward. "Don't tell me this is for me. Because it's not. I know what I want. I want you."
"Kay—"
"DON'T SAY MY NAME LIKE THAT!" I press my lips together. Fuck. I'm causing a scene. I need to get shit under control or I'm going to be escorted to some scary secret TSA room. "Tell me the truth, Brendon. Is this really because I shouldn't be with you? Or is it because you could never love someone like me?"
"No, Kay. This is because I love you."
"Bullshit." I stare into his eyes, begging him to budge.
But he doesn't.
He just stares back. Apology streaks his expression, but he stays silent.
It feels like we stare forever.
Eventually, he takes a step backward. "You're going to miss your flight."
"But... but you love me."