I'm not sure what he's promising, just that I want it.
He pushes himself to his feet and slips into the hallway. His footsteps move toward his room.
I push myself into my chair.
Then Emma's footsteps are moving up the stairs and she's knocking on my open door. She peeks inside. "Kay. What happened?"
"Grandma."
She moves into my room and plants on the bed. "You want to talk about it?"
I nod.
And I do.
I tell her a lot.
But it's not enough.
I'm still lying to her about Brendon.
I'm still hiding a huge piece of myself from her. From everyone.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Kaylee
I fall asleep with puffy eyes and a sore throat and I wake up lonely.
As long as I keep this to myself, I'm alone.
Brendon doesn't belong to me. He belongs to the version of Kaylee I convince him I am.
But that isn't me.
I need to tell him everything.
Soon.
Really, really soon.
* * *
It's a beautiful morning. Soft light floods the room. It bounces off the TV, casting glare over the incomprehensible action movie.
But it’s not like I’m paying attention.
I'm sitting next to Brendon, turning over all my thoughts.
Wanting more.
More of... just more.
I need to feel he's mine. Because I'm not ready to tell him. Not yet.
My body is going to have to get this across.
He turns toward me. Brings his hand to my chin and pulls me into a kiss.