"You do. You... I mean, I get that he's hot. You're not the first person who's said that."
"They're all hot."
"True. But you look at him in this way. Not like he's your brother."
"He's not my brother. He's your brother. He's my..." Well, he's my nothing right now. "He's my friend." I grab the shower head and bring it to her hairline. "Close your eyes."
She does. "You keep insisting he's hot and not annoying."
"I take the latter back."
"You can tell me, Kay. I won't be pissed you like him. It's not like you'd ever act on it."
Right. It's not like I'd kiss him in the middle of the night.
I try to focus on rinsing Emma's hair. On anything but the feelings whirring around my gut.
There. She's done.
I turn the shower head off. "You want to do this now." I motion to the bottle of Special Effects dye sitting on the bathroom counter.
"Let's air dry a little first." She sits up. Gathers her hair in one hand and squeezes. "Whatever it is that's bugging you, you can tell me." Her voice is soft. Earnest. Hurt.
She thinks I'm locking her out.
God, the way she's looking at me like I don't trust her anymore.
I can't take it.
I can't lose Em too.
Words jump out of my mouth without stopping in my brain. "It's Dean."
Her jaw drops. "Really?"
"I know. He's too old. He sleeps with a different woman every night. He doesn't take anything seriously. But—"
"He's hot. Confident. Funny. I get it."
"Yeah. But I don't actually want to be with him. That would be terrible."
She nods. "Oh." Her eyes light up with an epiphany. "No wonder he bet Brendon you're not a virgin. Then offered to pop that cherry." She laughs over his dirty words. "You should take him up on it."
"I don't know."
"Or maybe not." She sets her hand on my shoulder. "When you like someone, you get attached. And Dean isn't the kind of guy you want to be attached to."
I nod.
"But if you do want him to be your first... I can help." Her eyes light up. "Think about it."
"Sure."
"And think about how we're going to hide it from Brendon. Pretty sure he'd kill Dean for that."
"Right."
"You have any idea what he's pissed about?"