"Can you trust her one day?"
"I hope so."
She grabs my arm. "No I hope so. You can. I know you can. So stop with the bullshit. If I can get sober, you can trust this girl you're madly in love with."
"Yeah…"
"Oh my God. What's with this sudden mellowness? I know that's your thing, Walker. But don't be an idiot. You love her. You can get to trusting her again. You really think you're going to meet another girl who makes you feel like this?"
I can't help but smile. "You're back to your old self."
"Not quite. But I'm getting there." She takes another sip. "Are you gonna fix this?"
"I don't know."
"You should."
I chuckle. "Have you always been this wise?"
"Only about certain topics." She plays with a strand of dark hair. "I… I really am sorry, Walker. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be such a mess."
"Am I that bad?"
"Depends on the scale." Her voice gets soft. "You're a good brother. And a good guy. I hope you figure it out."
"Me too."
Chapter Forty-Five
Iris
Somehow, I manage to fall asleep.
I manage to get up, eat my breakfast, drink my coffee, go to school, study, work out, read.
Then I do it again.
Every day, it's a little easier to focus. To push Walker from my head.
He's still there, in the corners of my mind, waiting to pounce, to take over, to promise to either tear my heart in half or tape it back together.
I manage to spend most of Saturday studying.
And all of Sunday.
And then routine takes over, and I lose myself in the one thing I know I want.
Well, the thing that isn't him.
Chapter Forty-Six
Iris
I nearly jump into the hallway.
That's it. Research done. Projects done. Last final, done.
I stretch my arms over my head. Force my feet toward the door.