But that Iris doesn't exist. She was some idea I had of her.
And that was on me, yeah.
But that doesn't make this any easier.
I need to turn my thoughts off.
I need the world to make sense.
I need her under me.
I slide my arm around her waist. Pull her closer. I shouldn't do this. She's not here to fuck me.
But I have to.
Her eyes bore into mine. They ask for everything and promise more. "Walker, I—"
I bring my hand to the back of her head and pull her into a slow kiss.
She groans against my lips. Her fingers dig into my t-shirt, pressing the cotton into my skin.
She's eager. Hungry. Needy.
Mine.
No. I need to erase that thought from my head.
Somehow.
"Walker." She slides her hand under my t-shirt. "I can't do this unless I know what it means."
"I need you."
"But—"
"I don't want to need you. I don't want to think about you. It aches. Like a part of me is missing. I want it back. Tell me how to get it back."
"I don't know."
"You're burnt into my brain."
She stares into my eyes. "Walker—"
"You're all I think about." I press my forehead to hers. "I need it to stop, Iris. I need my thoughts back."
She swallows hard. "But you want to fuck me?"
I want every ounce of her. And I want to destroy every memory of her. "I hate being away from you."
She presses her palm against my torso. Her eyes get soft. Hazy. "Tell me this won't be the last time."
"I can't."
Her eyelids flutter together. She rises to her tiptoes. Presses her lips to mine.
All her need pours into me.
All my need pours into her.