I did this to Lily. To Mom and Dad. To a dozen other friends who dropped me long before Lily did.
I don't deserve his affection.
I don't deserve his trust.
I don't deserve another chance.
A tear catches on my lashes. Then another.
Walker rests his palm on my cheek. Catches a tear on his thumb. "Hey."
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"Everything."
He stares back into my eyes.
But I can't see his. Mine are blurry.
I blink. Bring my hand to my cheek to wipe my tears. "I'm really, really sorry."
"Hey. It's okay." He wraps his arms around me.
I shake my head. It's not. It's really, really not.
"This all for me?"
"No." Yes. Maybe. It's confusing. "I… I like you."
"Like me?"
"A lot." I choke back a sob. "Like I want you to be my boyfriend."
"Damn, I'm charming."
My laugh is anguished. "No, you are. It's not you. I just…" I try to stare back into his eyes, but I can't. I can't hold his gaze. "It's complicated."
"What isn't?"
"Coffee."
He laughs. "Is it your ex?"
Maybe. Ross was the person who introduced me to drugs. He was the last guy I trusted. And that didn't exactly turn out well.
But Walker was right before. Ross barely means anything to me.
How can I explain this without telling him?
How can I stay without telling him?
"I just…" I bury my head in his chest. "I don't want this to end."
"Me either."
"You…"